I'm dating a married man who is separated and living independently and I want to know details of his divorce?

TTC #1!!!

belieeeve me hunny i'm in that right now
it's better to just know EVERYTHING you can.
I live with my boyfriend, we're trying to have a baby, and he's legally married. NOT SMART- I know- but believe me
it's better for u to know- I said that too, but now I wanna know EVERYTHING....
I wanna know when we can get married, which obviously can't happen for a while... =
ask! It's better to know

bsghost123

His divorce WILL effect your relationship especially is he has children. It's always about the money. If he has a child/children then he will have to pay child support. Who knows about alimony without knowing all the details. What will happen to you if he decides it's easier to get back with his wife? You may be laying the groundwork for a BIG fall. Questions are fine but how will you know if he is telling the whole truth. Remember, there are 3 sides to every story. His, hers and the Truth.

bagpuss

I would suggest that you chat to him about it - all you have to say is that you have changed your mind, and your mind would be at rest if you have more information. After all he offered the information earlier in the year.
xx

Betty M

You didn't have any problem telling him you didn't want to get involved and you didn't want to know anything, so why are you having such a problem with telling him you have changed your mind?

You don't sound like the kind of woman who is afraid to go after what you want or care what other people think.

fff

you need to stay out of it for now, since you make the decision to date a man who is legally married. it is really not your place to interfere in others' marriages - why do you care what he is negotiating or what she is asking for? how is it possibly your business? i presume he has kids, since otherwise, it is really just a matter of mediation, and there is no reason for the process to drag on all year. if so, you should be d@mn sure that those kids are his number 1 priority, not you.

assume she is going to take him for everything he has, and move on from there. that way, you can see if you are really in it for the right reasons. if you are worried that he is actually not moving forward with the divorce, then that is another issue. and since details of divorce negotiations are not public, you will have to depend on him and her to inform you on the details.

if you have no doubts about you and him, then why are you so concerned with what they are negotiating?

kenbgray

Stay out of it, it really is none of your business.

crazyladyandfuntimes

Stay out of it, besides, right now you're just the "rebound" girl. I went through the same thing, but we did get married and it was HELL. He HAS to have time to get over her.

dobranoc

You have the right to ask and you should, don't feel guilty about it, he is already part of your life.

TEAM OBAMA...GET IT RIGHT!!!

Really Really, It is none of your business what his WIFE OR EX WIFE may be asking for...especially if there are child(ren) involved. Step back and let him handle his business. You are really an extra in his life..meaning he is legally still a married man, even if he is separated. You should wait a while until the divorce is finalized. I am sure that he is still Intimate with her.

JENNIE

Well, you sure jumped into boiling water. In the first place, I would never want that drama in my life, but obviously you are okay with it. You ask for people to be open minded about it, but you kinda opened a can of worms by getting involved with a man who is still attached in many ways to his past. You need to get out and let him handle this situation on his own or else you will be in for a ride that you will regret.

Mona-mon

I wouldn't get involved because as soon as you get involved and say anything about what the ex is getting and he mentions you if they have kids and you guys do work out that means you have to have that women in your life for some time to come and a lot of ex wives play the revenge game. How many times have you heard about them sleeping with their ex just to laugh at the new women. Don't get involved.

Daddy's Girl

Ask him anything you want even if you changed your mind. If you want details ask him to tell you exactly what happened at court, mediation, counseling, etc. It sounds like he isn't volunteering information because you told him "noting unless it affects us" if its going like it should it shouldn't affect you unless it will be longer than you thought. So just talk to him and keep up on what happens.

Fatima H

Sweetie...who else to answer this question but someone who has been in your very shoes. First, don't believe everything he says regarding the divorce. It may be a ploy just to keep you involved....very rare is the man who will be perfectly honest about anything he may be doing.

I've been involved with a man who said he was getting a divorce....15 years ago! He still hasn't gotten the divorce. He has been saying the same thing over and over. I did tell him I wanted to see papers, which I haven't seen yet!

Don't waste our time with this for lack of a better word....fool. You could be like so any of us who hang in there just hoping and praying for something that can't or won't happen. Good luck!

Nicole

You can just be honest. Tell him at first you did not want to get into it because you didn't see it as your business, but lately since you've noticed some delays you were curious and wanted whatever info he feels comfortable sharing. If this is such a serious and true relationship he should have no issues about telling you what is going on. If he seems secretive or not wanting to share all the details, I would be concerned.
It is your business. Although I do not agree with you dating a married man, you both have decided to be in a committed relationship, therefore his life affects you and his divorce is your business.

jonn449

Geeeesh, this is simple!

Go to the court house where he is getting divorced, pull his file and sit down and read it! Most divorce records are "public record".

Anyone I date or get involved with, I pull their records and check them out

Magic 8 Ball (Call me BILF)

Tell him that now that your relationship has begun to progress, that you are now interested in knowing more about his divorce proceedings.

domo79

You live with him & are so secure about your relashonship yet you can't ask him whats going on?? Makes no sense....

burtongrl

stay away until its final

applecheeks

Hi,

If you changed your mind and want to know more I would tell him that.
Or just ask him how things are progressing with the divorce.

You should be able to talk to the guy you're with. This is also your future.
Don't get burned and find out later that there really isn't going to be a divorce after all. You have a right to know some of the things, like when will it be final. As far as finding out about all of it , like what she's asking for...I wouldn't concern myself with that yet.
Just have him reassure you and tell you that yes indeed he is getting a divorce and when is it going to be final ?

I was married for 14 years, divorced and dated for 11 years and just got remarried for the second time on Nov. 4th.

That's where I got my source from...experience.

Good luck !

Tsunami

you know what. being open and out with it is the best way to remain friendly and in lvoe. you know communication is the spice of truth and love. it is how one becomes more invovled. if you want to know more then let him know now and keep things opened and above board. i mean if he is divorcing he should not throw in the towell and die. i mean he should have something for al lthis mess also. if they have house together shoudl be sold and given each half of it. there are so many tings is their kids? i mean i was married 25 years to a lovely man that was married before and we went though his dovorce and mine. it was ok long sas yu talk and be same with him one. that is what counts in all the mess to gether.

jumpicide

definately ask

Ask him, it's the only way you will find out anything. Unless you snoop around which isnt a very good idea.

alialoggi

You are getting off on this, and that is something that you need to look at yourself. Why is someone elses misery so intoxicating to you? Because, actually, it will be you some day, so you should see it with your eyes wide open.

odela1950

ask what you need to know there is no mind readers

smilewaitsyou

Well it certainly affects you and you should know all aspects of the divorce, how long will it take for him to get a divorce?

Doodlestuff

You should know that there is no guarantee that he will actually complete the divorce. Keep that in mind.

However, yes, tell him that you have changed your mind and would like to know more details. Having dated a couple of divorced guys, it is also helpful for YOU to find out what the reasons are for the divorce. You don't want to be getting hooked up with a guy with huge gambling addictions or bad temper issues, for instance.

I can't understand why others would say it is none of your business. Presumably, you are dating this man with a view towards the future. It makes sense for you to know where things stand and how they stand as it will affect your future. You don't have to be involved in the decisionmaking.

Horse Up

It's none of your business.
The fact that you never asked questions probley made him
very happy. Either way, you are gonna be the big Loser in the end.

Steve P

You could simply say "If you ever need to bounce any ideas related to the negotiations or attorney ideas off anyone then I am willing to listen." This will tell him you will be a sympathetic ear and won't make it seem like you are demanding. Until it is final it is back and forth negotiations and it seems like it will never be final. The Courts move slowly and attorney don't mind it taking a long time. And despite all the time invested I found that the court and attorney do a poor job.

Steph

Hey, i don't think there's anything wrong with your relationship, i mean he's separated so what's the big deal! I think you should just casually ask him. Because you told him that you don't want to know anything i doubt he's going to tell you, so if you wait i think you'll be waiting for a long time! I would just casually ask him and tread gently, it could be a touchy subject. i hope this has helped :)

angel

That's easy just ask him what's going on tell him that you changed your mind and you want to have more details, he will understand women change their minds all the time

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