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queenleah1
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The only part of the wedding she belongs in is the seating of the mothers. It is inappropriate for her to be a bridesmaid, those spots are reserved for your friends and family that you wish to stand with you on this BIG day. In case you weren't sure about the seating of the mothers...
Traditionally the grandmother of the groom (if she is in attendance) is escorted to her seat by an usher and then the mother of the groom is escorted by an ushers to her seat on the front pew on the left. Then the brides grandmother (again if in attendance) and finally the mother of the bride is escorted to her seat on the first pew right. It is after that is the procession of bridesmaids and bride begins. Some even have special music for the seating of the mothers. It is tradition for the mother of the bride to be seated last, as it is the day her daughter leaves her to be united with her husband (it is kind of a way to honor her on your day). Remember it is your day, do not let anyone make decisions for you. Good Luck and Best Wishes!! |
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HEY HEY HEY!
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I would suggest telling your fiance to tell her she cannot be in the wedding .....the waves may get big but at least it won't slam you..if you know what I mean? If you come out and tell her yourself she will hate you, she will not hate her son...think on it.....good luck to ya.... |
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boo
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IT ISN'T WRONG BUT MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING TO CONSIDER IF YOU WANT TO KEEP PEACE WITH HER. |
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Uncle John
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Invite both families. Assign all the parents and step relatives to be, a task, if you want. But invite them, other wise it will be long time, before they forgive you. |
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~~HaVe An AwEsOmE dAy~~
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have her be in charge of the guest book hahahaha |
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kharris6010
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watch monster in law |
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ryan_eaves
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Oh, boy I feel bad for you. It sounds like you're in a no-win situation. It might be a good idea to see if you can come up with some kind of task or honor she can have so she feels included.
That stinks! :( |
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fishinpolen
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it's suppose to be your day...and you future husbands...don't let anyone tell you what you should do, or who should be in it.. If she persists, give her some small part that will make her happy and feel important. Sometimes the littlest parts will make a person happy. |
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knowmore
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Be nice but let her know how you feel. |
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cahoona33
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You should let her do it, after all. She should take place somwhere in her son's wedding. |
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creativereading
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This is your wedding and bridesmaids are people who are there for you, not for those who just want a starring role. I would say you could make a special entrance for both your mother and your fiance's mother. But as for the girlfriend, come on. Maybe your fiance's mother will be so happy about having her own starring role, she won't care so much about the girlfriend. |
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Di
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Well it's definitely wrong for her to tell you that his brother's girlfriend should be a bridesmaid, unless of course, the two of you are friendly. It really is your choice who is in your wedding. In some cases, it is courtesy to ask the groom's sister to be a bridesmaid if the two of you are friendly, otherwise if you're having a religious ceremony as a part of your wedding, she could sing or read or something.
As for his mother...she should not be IN your wedding. She should be concerned with being the mother of the groom and being proud and happy that her son is starting a family and is happy. If nothing else - have her read or something. Parents of the bride and groom are not bridesmaids, groomsmen or ushers. Let someone else participate in the ceremony - the parents are already a big part. |
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bay area curious george
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Tell her she can be the oldest ever flower girl. |
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tequila_girl98
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Ask them to participate in another way. Have your fiancees mother read a bible passage or something. We had a friend of ours light candles in memory of my husband's parents. You can also put the girlfriend in charge of the guest-book and any gifts that are brought to the reception. |
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ideratherbefishin
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You can't be a brides maid or maid of honor if you're married hence the term maid. She can be Matron of honor....then what you should do is pick her out a really ugly azz dress to make her wear. Tell the brothers girlfriend to beat feet and have her own wedding. Sounds like your in for it with this mother in law...good luck |
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Astro
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Wow, she's awful pushy!! Tell her that you've already picked your bridesmaids, and that she can light the unity candle at the beginning with your mother. Don't feel guilty for turning her down. If you don't stand up to her, I can see her trying to walk all over you in the future as well. Stay strong!! |
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loulu
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It is your wedding and the reason for having bridesmaids is to have the people that YOU want to stand by you as you make a change in your life. It is ultimately your decision, and your fiance can find a place for his mother on his side. As for the brother's girlfriend, she may not even be there in five years, so why make her an intimate part of YOUR day? Don't let M-I-L walk all over you now, honey, or you will be in for a long and miserable relationship with her!!! |
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heartwhisperer2000
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Hmmmm. It does sound as if she is being controlling. Talk to your fiancee and see what he says about it. You need to remember it is his mom and sometimes we have to comproise in weddings. Remember, it's not just your wedding it is his too. and it is also both of your extended families wedding.......it's a joining of the families. |
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glynis18
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It is not wrong to tell her that she can't. It is your and your fiance's day. If she wants to be a part of it, let her do a reading, or read a peom, or something. |
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monkeyface
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It is your wedding. as the bride you have the right ot invite whoever you want to be bridesmaids etc. However, you could try to include her by asking her to recite something at the wedding or by making her Head Usher in charge of the flowergirl, ringbearer etc.
As for the brothers girlfriend, tell her that although you want her at the wedding there are enough close relatives/friends of your own you need to have instead. If she cares about you she will understand.
Have a lovely wedding. |
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prettycute4u62040
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I think you could try to find a way for them to be in the wedding, without them actually being bridesmaids.
You could have your mother and fiance's mother light the individual candles that represent your families. You could have your fiances brothers girlfriend be a candlelighter in the wedding or you could have her be the one asking guests if they would like to sign the guestbook.
I feel that you should see how serious your future brother in law and his girlfriend are before giving her a huge part in the wedding. |
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pickle
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Tell her she cant, if you want her to do something you could have his mother and your mother light a candle during the wedding. |
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h_elliott7
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Umm I would make my fiance break the bad news to her...So that she will not think bad of you...LOL that is just how I see it! |
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Hedgie
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You decide who is in your wedding and nobody else. Customarily most brides and grooms extended the invitation to the groom's sisters to be a bridesmaid or the bride's brothers to be ushers, but then again it is your and your fiances choice. |
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buttercup
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There is a great place for her in the wedding.... on the front bench with the Mother belongs... |
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question man
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they want to be a part?
park the cars....... |
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brooklynn_31502
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It's not right for her to have asked but then if you want to keep from having problems in the future then maybe you should consider letting her and only her join the party(Your brothers gf isn't family...not yet atleast)
First talk it over with your fiance...see what he thinks and how he feels about it. If he gets defensive then I personally would let her. Other wise any time you fight in the future...he will always bring up how you refused to let his mom be a part of the wedding. Maybe if anything she could walk him down as your father is walking you. See if that is a good enough compromise. |
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farsidecc
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TELL HER TO KISS YOUR BUTT |
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Heather P
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You are absolutely right, it is your wedding. It is between you and your fiance to decide who you want in your wedding. If your future mother-in-law is really giving you a hard time about it and to save from having a whole family melt down you might suggest that she have some other role than bridesmaid. You could also tell her that bridesmaids are supposed to be the women that dress like the bride to confuse the evil spirits that attack on wedding days. You can also tell her that in the history of weddings the bridesmaids are traditionally unmarried, virginal girls who are next in line to be married not the mother of the groom. |
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Sudzy
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Just say no!!Nothing is wrong with that it is your and your fiances day,,,, one for you to always remember without regret...Congrats and Good Luck |
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Simply Lovely
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Your mother-in-law to be has a title, Mother of the Groom. She has no business hanging out with the bridesmaids. You have who you want in your wedding and invite who you and your soon to be hubby want there. This is day is for you and him. If she doesn't like it, tough.
Keep telling yourself, "It's our wedding, it's our wedding." |
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barbie
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Message that needs an answer. I am so deeply saddened that my daughter one of three has picked her grandmother as Matron of Honor. which is my mother-in-law. I have voiced my opinion and told her that I am so upset that she did not pick her sisters. I have been to a wedding where both sisters have been picked. Not only that as a Mother i considered she would pick me or her sisters before my mother-in-law. I have told her that I am deeply and emotionally torn and of all people picking my mother-in-law . I would reaaly like some advice on this matter. A sad Mom |
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