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I'm married but attracted to another man - what do I do?
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I'm married but attracted to another man - what do I do?

I'm happily and lovingly married - for a year now. But I'm falling for a guy I know at work (who has fallen for me). I'd like to still be friends with him, but what do we do about the serious attraction? What do I do?!


You obviously married because that's the man you love and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. This is simply a test of your faith. You've taken your vows to yourself, your husband and the lord. Tell the man you like that your sorry but you LOVE your husband and do not want to lose him to your selfish temptations. Its ok to let him know you have feelings for him as long as you don't act on them. You will feel better about yourself if you can stick to your morals and over come your lustful feelings. If your husband were in your situation what advice would you give him??? Now if you are truly unhappy with your husband and you feel you made a mistake than y'all got a lot of talking to do.

stay away from the other guy, keep your relationship professional- remember why you fell in love with him in the first place and start devoting less time and attention to this guy at work and a lot more time and attention to you husband. Love is a choice, emotions are unstable and everchanging- you could choose to love anyone you are attracted to- what's to say you wouldn't marry this guy and some other cutie came along and payed you some extra special attention that oyu would not wind up going off with him. If you want to be a trustworthy, honorable, and virtuous woman, and you want to be treated the same- then grow up- don't spend any unecessary time with this man- if he was honorable he would respect your marriage and start looking for a single girl- go home and fix your husband a nice dinner, treat him to a massage, take a mini vacation together and focus your attentions on what you have at home - otherwise you will get burned and aside from hurting more than one person in your life - you will wind up regretting it.

Albert M
grow up

curious man..
If this man at work was REALLY fat & ugly, would you be interested? If not then the indicators are that it's all about the packaging sweetheart, not about the package!! Also you should consider what is making you attracted to this man when you have an (i assume) loving husband. Spend more time with your man (husband!), to see if you still have that special feeling when you are around him...It may be that you are sub-consciously losing interest in your husband without realising...

Love My Soldier
Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because one day the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

NEVER get your meat where you get your money. Period.

You are married, act like it. Turn back to your husband and start giving him complete faithfulness you PROMISED him on your wedding day.

For better or for worse? Remember that part?????? Now act like it!!!!!

I wish you the best!!!

You don't love you husband enough if you are even considering being friends with some one you are fallin for. If you were a devoted wife another man would not cross you mind like that. Get the other man out of you head or tell your husband and let him move on to some one that really will love him. If you believe you were happy and in love you would not have to ask this question you would not be thinking of another man.

if yournot attracted to the man your married to then your married to the wrong person. there is a very thin line between love and lust.

Dave S
Wise up. A bird in your hand better than 10 on the tree. Flirting is one and being able to live with him/her is another one. Just because someone flirt with you does not mean a relation will work. Behave and be faithful to your husband. The GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE.

Easy. Talk about it to your husband. Maybe he will let you date someone else. Or at least give you a divorce.

You should not be happy with yourself right now. Your in between two men and your married!!! You should seriosly tell him or do your best to stay away from that guy you like so that you can make those feelings go away.

gillen s
why did u marry him if u liked another guy ??

This is a choice that you should figure out yourself without help from us!! i can say that you need to find out witch one you like better then your on your own for the rest!!! GOOD LUCK!!

Alexander Shannon
You'd better accept that this will happen from time to time.

Unless you stop breathing you will occasinally be attracted to other men. Unless you're made of wallpaper - they will occasionally return the feeling.

Learn to deal with it. But decide - FIRST- if you really want to be married.

You say you are happily married. Then remind yourself of that and cut down on the contact with this other man. This attraction will most likely fade with time.

be very careful

Get over it! You're married now. Be friends with they guy at work, and do not act on the attraction. You could screw up your job as well as your marriage...

First of all you SHOULDN'T follow advice from someone who can't spell divorced. You made a commitment - stick to it.

Carrie P
Keep yourself distant from him for a while. Because you don't want to ruin a brand new marriage. Attraction to other people will always be normal whether you're married or not. But you just need to learn to remember that attraction is just attraction and doesn't last, the love you have for your husband is endless, at least it should be, that's why you married him right?

First of all you cant be happily married if you falling for another man!!!!! You need to decide if you want your marriage to last or just get a divorce and see your new man... It is not fair for your husband to think you are all his while your falling fro someone else. Be a stand up person and do the right thing.

RUN FAR FAR AWAY, believe me I've been there and done that. Do not in any way jepordize your marriage. You love the man right and you know he loves you. Then don't do it. Just keep telling yourself that you have a good life and a good man at home and you don't want to mess it up. I fell for another guy after being married for a year, and actually tried to see myself with him. My husband found out and things have never been the same. That can take a lot of trust out of a relationship. So PLEASE just keep him as a friend cuz you don't want to loose what you have if you are really happily married.

I tihnk it's just a small crush you are forming since you see this guy often, probably everyday all day. If you are serious about your marriage do something now, beofre its too late. Whether you change your jobs, not be friends with him, even if you want to, etc. It can get crazy and into a mess if you dont nip it in the bud!!!

If you stay where you are the attraction will continue to grow... If you seriously want to stay in your marriage then one of you needs to move on to another place of employment... That's about what it boils down to... The decision is yours...

Slim Whitman
If you are a newlywed get busy with your marriage not another relationship. Avoid the new guy like the plague.

Marriage is a committment (supposedly for life).. Get serious about falling in love with your husband. getting your rocks off with a new person will be a short term fix, like an excitement drug. instant gratification is a trial for newbies.. Remember the vows, "in sickness and health, good times and hard times, "

Marriage takes work, leaving is too easy.

you should get divorsed and marry the other guy if you really like him

Michael F
Why not try having a little self control. Get over this guy fast and do not let your emotions run away with you next time. You might not be able to handle a "friendship" with this guy. Just break everything off with him unless you want your marriage destroyed and a life of regrets.

Your married, you know that you don't want to ruin your marriage so the choice is to ruin your friendship with this guy. If he really cares for you then he should respect the fact that you are married and have chosen to end this friendship in order to not ruin your marriage. If he can't accept that and respect your choice then he wasn't really in love with you. Remember, married people are not immune to getting crushes but they never cross the line and act on them. A good rule is to never do or say anything that you would do if your spouse was right there.

Exotic Pink
tell the man your married and move on before you do something stupid and ruin your happy and loving marriage.

sweetie,if ur happily married dont screw that up okay.obviously temptation is starting to make u second guess ur marriage.dont give in to temptation thats just what the devil wants.of course ur gonna be attracted 2 other men,but this is a test 2 see how strong u are.and how much u really care about ur husband...but if u love the other man more than u love ur husband and decide 2 kleave ur husband 4 him just be careful..and hunny (if u do pray) pray that GOD show u tha way out of this mess and sho u to do whats rite.he wont do it rite away but he will do it on his time..

but hunny,
...dont LEAVE the one u LOVE for the one u Like,For the one u LIke will LEAVE u for the one they LOVE

Wow yall r all hard on her. But hey it is what it is. How long have they been married? For the most part you are feeling that way about the other man cause the attention that you are getting. But you have to step back and look at what you have in front of you. Just do whats right put the shoe on the other foot. Then you can think better.

for loving a men loves another men

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