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Kim
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I dont understand, if she was in his past what is she still doing in his present? If he doesn't want to be with her, he needs to maybe introduce the 2 of you, to let her know that he has surely moved on. I wish you the best. |
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penny c
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sounds like prince charles and lady diana all over again.
look how that turned out. |
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gypsy g
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I'd definitely be concerned as to why he felt the need to lie to you about it. And me personally would want to know why he did. Lieing about your past isn't necessary. |
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jelly_bean_19_69
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i would think that there is something going on with this woman, that letter just goes to show it, why would you keep something if it is the past. especially when he is married, i wouldnt keep past love letters in the house where my wife is, i would have a serious talk with him and try to get answers if not, keep an eye out, cause i think it is wrong for him to have them |
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Honey
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I agree, theres a whole load more that you dont know, trust me, i went through something similar to you. Try asking him questions and the same ones at a later date. See if they match, thats one way of finding out what he is up to. A made up story keeps changing so be on the lookout. |
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wish I were
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WAKE UP LADY, if it was such a small thing he wouldn't be lying about it!!! There is more to this story you don't know yet!!! How do you beleive anything your husband says after catching him in this lie??? WAKE UP!! There is more for you to know, don't let this rest! |
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StormyC
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You have every right to confront him about this. This is not small, especially since he's seen her while out of town. He needs to start being honest with you or he'll never have it again. |
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naughtybecksy K
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Yes slightly worrying that she calls your home. Get to the bottom of it now. If there is nothing to hide why is he denying something that could easily be admitted. |
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ndnqt1966
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If he lied then he is hiding something. There is no reason for him to lie about this woman if she is no longer in the picture. Its his past and now he is with you. He should destroy the letters. |
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miniee
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Those were only the lady's letters. He must not have replied the lady. If you really understand from the letters that he used to send letters to her, you don't bother about him. You live on your own.
Why should we care for somebody, if they don't care for us. |
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moneywise
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If he still has those love letters around, he's not done with her.....at least not emotionally. |
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caz
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leave him he's lying. sorry to tell you! why would he keep the letters? |
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shadymia77
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Well I would be very worried if I where you because if he tells you it is in the past why is he still talking to her in present??? Think about it!!!! I would sit down and talk with him about this asap. You guys need to talk about this. And I don't think that it is a good idea for him to be talking to another girl. I for one would not put up with it. Girls are scandalous and I don't trust them. And I also do not trust no man.....Trust is very important in a relationship and if you don't have that then the relationship is not going to work out..... |
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I like it hardcore!
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tell him to get lost he will realise what he has lost when its gone |
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MAHOGANY79
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Follow you intuition because it's not wrong and remember a man will always be a man first before anything else....and you know what I mean.
Good luck with that. |
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mrsknowitall
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It could be nothing.....
But the again....
It could be.......
Everything |
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desaun08
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I will tell you like this. Men are stupid, point blank period. The way the situation went down makes it sound like he didn't want to hurt your feelings. And by doing it the only way he knows how...by drowning it and throwing it in the ocean never to be seen again. But what he didn't know is that you were a lifeguard for 4 years. It is typical for a male to lie just to spare someone's feelings. He probably thought you would get upset with him when you found out that they used to date and he was still close with her. That would lead to thoughts of cheating and all the other things that go with being a friend with a ex. It's just like when a female tells her spouse that she only slept with 3 men her whole life and you go to her high school reunion to find out you married Jenna Jameson. Don't think of it in a negative sense. Think of it as a white lie gone terribly wrong and that he was trying to spare your feelings and show you that you are all that he sees when he closes his eyes and the first thing he wants to see when he opens his eyes every morning. Your man loves you so don't push him away because of something you think is a big deal when it's not. Hope I helped a little bit and keep your marriage strong. It's not over until one of you are no longer living. |
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Jane Marple
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I don't like the fact that he kept it secret but as for the lady herself I would not worry. Like someone on here says, we all kept old love letters and pictures of our ex. Now that I think about it I still have a box full of letters from my ex husband while stationed in Cyprus 20 years ago. Tell your husband you are bothered by this woman now and you need him to reassure you. That way he won't be on the defense and will explain what is really the situation. |
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Party_Babe
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i think your the only person who can help yourself in this situation, in my eyes once a liar always a liar, how can u trust somebody after they have broken this trust issue with you, for all you know he could be having an affair with this woman if he's lied all about it to you. Think you really need to sit him down and find out the full truth and let him know how much its worried you. |
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Gemmipop
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I understand that you're very worried but i think the best thing to do is to talk to him about this, its the only way that you can let it go and forget about it without being paranoid. If you tell him that you really need to know why he's kept it if its nothing, but make sure that you tell him that you trust him completely and don't make any accusations. He needs to know that it's just that you can't get it out of your head until you both talk about it. Good luck, and don't worry too much there's bound to be a reasonable explanation x |
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soundfamiliar
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Well let put it this way does who does he comes home to? You or her? Who does he take care off? You or her. When ask directly what does he say to you? If the answer is all you than you have nothing to worry about.
However if you are still hurt than what do you want him to do to show that he really means what he say. Ask yourself this question first then maybe you could talk to him and say like if you really love me lets burn the letters together over a bon fire
or suggest to him that you demand that he prove his love by taking you on a romantic holiday and him to romance you (wining and dining, roses and fine food, love poetry anything that makes you fall for him over and over).
He he he better this way right than to fight over something you actually say to yourself small but it hurts. |
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omar n
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thay all say it is only a friend i thing that is with the lady i had the sam thing going on he is with the lady fine out mor and email me ok |
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All the way live!
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I don't know why men lie about something so trivial like this. I understand TOTALLY how you feel, believe me. It does make you have trust issues about everything else he's been telling you especially if you've trusted him from day one.
All I can say is that you have every right to be angry. But anger left un-checked is dangerous. So my advice would be to put a plan in place to catch him red handed. If you don't have the patience and time or agility to do this then wait and he will hang himself. I 100% garantee it! |
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♥**•.¸¸verbalkint♥**•.¸¸
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i have to agree with annie, if you have a gut instinct hes not telling you the truth then he isnt, if hes cheated then you need to know, if it was unprotected then you are also at risk, ask him to be honest as you say if hes lied about this now you are questioning everything else he ever did or said, im in the same boat, wondering if it was all lies, |
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marga_bam23
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well lets not jump to conclusion, ok. first of all, have a talk with him. Tell him how this situation is making you feel unsecure. Dnt expect an apology, but i do think that a truthful explanation is better. But if he still avoid the subject girl, am sorry but he he is lying and so prepare yourself to face the worse. |
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cottontail
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This sounds awful and if i were you i would tell him if he sees her again you would leave. If she is an ex why the lies and why is she still phoning him.
You have to tell him how upset this is making you and that it is a threat to ur marriage. If he really loves you he would drop all contact with her. I would subtly be checking up on him though because of his lies. - good luck |
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Thick Madame
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loser = liar!! don't trust him!! |
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?
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If he lied to you about this, then maybe it's not his past... Be sure that what they had is what they HAD... Not what they HAVE. If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn't have lied.
Then again, maybe he was just afraid that you'd flip out.. Even though lying about it has made it worse. |
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donna
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wow' i dont know him and i dont even trust him.....after that. |
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