I'm stuck and there's no way out!?

Sun T

thank u for ur advice earlier - it made me wake up and realise what i was doing.

I've been reading ur past Q's and i am really sad to hear what u have been going through. I would really like to help you. If you could message me at suntimeuk@yahoo.com, i would be happy to help you get out of this mess as you don't deserve this and i know how oppressive all of this can be for women like u.

here is an organisation in the meantime where u can submit ur story for advice:

http://mwhl.org/index.php?option=com_contact&Itemid=3

i look forward to hearing from you. You can't live like this and need to do something for yourself and your daughters. Too many women like u are hiding indoors and continuously put down by their controlling husbands. Plz get in touch with me.

~*tigger*~ **

you need a reality check
if you dont stand up and leave your daughters will suffer the same fate
Ive heard this story again and again from moslem women
nothing changes

Red

Abused woman keep coming back for more.
I hate the religion (or is it a form of government).
I think the religious restrictions towards woman is enough of a reason to leave. Re connect with family or show up on th door step if you have to.

MISSY G

For your own sanity and the welfare of your kids, please leave before something terrible happens, you can go to any women's refuge you don't need any money , what about your family, if you get back in touch I'm sure they would help you , keep strong and think about you self and kids PS you surely can't love your husband if he treats you like this.

treasuredwife69

Get your girls and get the hell out of there. In time, you wont feel the need to be with him and will get back the desire to live again.

BabeHeart

You are as stuck as you choose to be. Get some counseling and perhaps a professional can help you get back your life. You made a poor decision as a child, but that doesn't mean you cannot recify it as an adult. If not for yourself, do it for your children. Do they deserve to have to deal with what you are as they grow up?

Take back your life. It's one thing if you chose to live in another cultur and conform...but his his verbal abuse of you is inexcusable no matter where he's from.

It's your choice...you've become dependent on him because you isolated yourself from your previous life. Your feelings aren't probably love, but those of a prisoner who needs their captor to visit them and feed them and is dependent on that person because that person is their only contact.

Is this really what you want for your future? Your family and friends are still out there somewhere. All is not lost...take care of you (and those kids).

sweetviolet1978

Well I was married ten years to my husband and like you I fell in love too but the sooner you get out the better because it usually doesnt get better he has control over you and that is what he wants you can move on and deserve better. trust me I did it and couldnt be more happier. At first it will be hard you need to start by building ur self esteem and do things you like to doto keep u busy

val f1 nutter

i am married to a Muslim. i have done none of what you have done. at the end of the day he married me for me, not who he could make me into. you are married to a control freak who has no respect for you at all. it seems to me you have become totally dependant on him. you say you love him, but if you find the strength to leave i bet you would change your mind. love means mutual respect. call your family and get help to get out. trust me you will see life in a totally different light if you leave this man. my last marriage was like that. i wasn't allowed to breathe. i wish you luck and i will be thinking of you.

SexyMama_52487

You need to get out, you DON'T need that man, you deserve better. He's got you trapped and you need to get free!

If you need someone to talk to, talk to ME. I'll help you. Just please, take steps to get out!

deep in thought

You sound as if you a in a no win situation from how you put your point across. I am here to tell you that there is a way - first you have gained access to the internet - which tells me you are on the telephone. So ring up help lines for women - and they will re-confirm that there is a way out of your situation. You are not alone many women are in this situation and I have helped women who feel that they cannot move etc., - believe me you can - but YOU have to make the first move. I would delete any sites you visit and put your point across as he sounds like he has control of you and you do not want any comebacks. But please seek help - via your GP who will point you in the right direction. Good Luck truely.

Ollie

Hi,he has made you totally dependent on him.You need to get your daughters & yourself away from him.Your daughters are facing a future of arranged marriages.You were very young when you met him.Get in touch with your family they will be waiting for you.Get your daughters & go bet you are still young once away from him you will regain your confidence.
Good Luck

kittenpinkrock

LEAVE HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
nobody need a control freak. you are your own person, u have been a patient and faithful wife and deserve so much more than what this pig has to offer.

Molly

tell him that religion or no religion, he's ur husband and he can't treat u like crap
if things get 2 out of hand, i would leave and take the girls with u
no one needs that kind of man
i know you love him but it's the best thing for you and your girls

frank_blandori thunder88

what is wrong with you women?? do u want your girls to live your life style and try to kill them selves as you tryed. get out and re group and find what you really want, i think hes got you brain twisted with he is the only one or god will kill you, GOD is not that way, and he sure is no GOD. wake up and enjoy what time you have left. take the kids to a burger king ARE TO THE PARK, dont allow your kids to live in hell and fear.move on! if he is a real man filled with love he will let you go but he sounds like a prison guard
only you have control over your emotions and are you tired of the fake faces you have to show to him?????

Qurious

I know its too late, but you didn't have to leave your family friends and job to marry him... neither you had to give up your flat... Unfortunately, it seems like that you met the wrong person as you were very naive at the age of 16...

You need to get the Muslim community involved in the area you live in. Try to speak to the friends / families of your husband who you trust and see if they can help.

Suicide is not an option at all... If you don't want to live for yourself, live for your daughters... why should they suffer for you falling in love at the age of 16 with the wrong person???

If your husband is not willing to change after you get his friends, family and the community involved then please leave him... If you have peace of mind, you will be able to raise your girls better than raising them when you are not happy in your marriage...

kiratess

I feel for you... But you need to get a backbone and get out. Just try leaving for a while and when your gone, go and get some therapy to help build up your self esteem and get your self back. It sounds to me like you have lost your way and yourself, but if you can get away and get some therapy where you can learn to stick up for yourself and stand up to your husband and believe that you are better than how you are treated, you will feel so much better. You need to get out for your kids sake. Do you want them to feel the same way you do. Get out, and get some professional help so that you can stand up for yourself and your kids. Don't let this situation ruin you and your kids. You can do this!! Don't think that you can't, because if you get out and move in with your other family that you no longer see, they will help you. It almost sounds like you have been brainwashed. Please, do this for yourself and for your three girls. Don't let them grow up thinking that this is how a man should treat women.

You can do this! Just keep telling your self that, I can do this and I have to do this. Not only for myself, but for my kids. If you can't help yourself, you are no good to your kids. Don't try suicide again, your girls need you!

Hang in there girl and you will get through this. But be patient, it will take time!

sugarlipstiger

.Honey, You need a good support system and him getting you away from your family was a way to get him right where he wants you. It sounds like you need some encouraging words to get you through. You need to pray about this situation. also you need to see if you can find some support groups in your area to help you. Also look for shelters in your area to help you if comes to getting the kids and leaving. I also would like you to go to www.middayconnection.org/ there so many segments you can listen to and help you with every area in your life. God loves you and you need to really get on your needs and pray to work out this situation. If you need someone to talk to email or IM me.

blazegirl

Try to get in touch with your family and go back to them or stay with him and accept things as they are.

Nicky_my bunny

My friend just turn Muslim for a man she thought she loved but now she feels she married a stranger. I don't have anything against Muslims but u get some Muslims that can be monster's. They take away u identity and you life u not the fist that is going threw this. I pray for the best for u i cant imagine what else u are going threw. pls find away to see u family I THINK U NEED THEM

MT K

Thats what he is a control freak ----leave him now for your own sanity

sorry, you shouln't of had married him. If your that depressed, take the kids and get a divorce.

fireblood

how come your allowed on the net ??

Mark

I`m a man.You showed him that you love him.It is his turn..

Love Exists?

Muslim men can marry women of the book....so you did not really have to turn Muslim to marry him... Maybe you should have read something before turning Muslim.. Sister you are not happy so get out.... your husband sounds like a control freak to me..... I know many Christian Muslim families, many just Muslim families and no one treats there wifes that way.. If you turned Muslim did you ever read the Quran? it tells of how to treat ones wife and capturing her in a cage is no where in the manual.. Do you want to convert back to your old religion? if yes then you should seek advice from a church if not then seek advice from your local Islamic center... They help women all the time... To let you know divorce is allowed in the religion.

hanisTa kkkk

well..that isn't like some muslim men i know..i think you should consult a third person in this case..someone you can trust,someone your husband would trust him/her opinion..are his parents like that too,or are they more rational?hmm..of they are more rational,i think they are the best person you can consult..but just so you know,Islam isn't about leaving your past life,you need not be apart from ur family,friends,jobs n all..i mean,whatever bad impressions he has given you,that's not what islam is all about..i just hope that you wont judge islam that way..please..i wish i can meet your husband and tell him what he did is wrong,or maybe you can bring him to see a religious muslim guy who you know can make a wayout for your problem..i hope i could be there for u..but,i would be glad to hear any good news from ya..

myeisha82

babe..that is so wrong. Muslim men r not suppose to treat their ladies like that. You still hv ur full rights of being a woman even if ur married. He still hv to respect u and u likewise to him. If you really think that ur life is unjustified, then report him to Syariah court, the Muslim court and get a divorce. From a woman to another, you shouldn't be deprive of your own family, friends and life. But my advice is be mutual perhaps talk to ur hubby and try to reason things out. My life as a Muslim, born as one here in Singapore is not bad at all. Not at all.

good tree

Have you tried praying? There is a God who can help you.

scooter blade

get a life, start a fresh, take off that old black rag and see the world for what it is.

Skully

Call a Woman's Shelter and tell the staff your problem. Also reach out to your family. You need to get out of there and fast. This man is a poor excuse for a Moslem. He's an abuser who treats horribly. For you children's sake ... and your own .. get out before this misguided raghead begins physically abusing you.

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