I'm tired. Is it OK if I do that?

This morning, my husband is supposed to drive the kids to school, but he's been going out for gamble since last night, hasn't showed up. This has happened so many time for many years. I called him on cell phone, it took a while for him to answer. He told me that he is on the way to home to drive the children to school. I told that it is kind of late now, and he said :"no, they won't be late." I waited, waited for 45 minutes, and he hasn't showed up. I went online to find him, because we have a service to locate the phone. The location showed that he was still at the casino. I called him but he didn't answer. I ended up to drive the kids to school myself. I was so stressed and angry, the baby of 5 months has to be fed. I had a car accident last Friday and thanks god that I and my kids are all got out fine. I don't know why he didn't realize that. So many times that he missed his commitment , like not picking the kids at school and I had to cover for him all the time, stressed like crazy. My question is, if I tell him that I'm going to see my mom who lives 2 hours away from where we are, for few days, ( many times that I threaten to leave him but he didn't take it seriously) and let the kids with him which I've never done before, because I was afraid that they won't be in good care ,would he still put the fault on me and will get the custody and the house? if we have to file a divorce, because I'm thinking of doing, I'm so sick with this.

Brianna

You would and could be considered and unfit parent if you knowingly leave your children with an unfit father. If you leave the home and then file for divorce, it will be harder to get back into the house.

making him watch the kids will not suddenly make him a good father. It will not suddenly cure him of his gambling addiction, and i think if you think carefully you'll relate that is exactly what is happening. He's addicted and cannot stop him even for the important things in life. He needs help, but he has to want help for it actually to help him. Maybe consider an intervention with family and friends who know and see what is happening.

I cannot advise you to divorce or remain married, that has to be decided by you only. He's not under appreciating you, he is an addict and is unable to stop himself. Best of luck.

Millie

Sounds like he has a gambling problem. That's an addictive disease. He needs help.

Fustuka

Don't leave the kids with this man! Hell NO! Take them with you, LEAVE HIM NOW<LIKE NOW< RIGHT AWAY!

Ms.Thoughtful

Don't leave the kids with this irresponsible person, no matter how tired you are, it is not their faults. Instead, talk to him directly. Tell him you need for him to stop gambling and if he does not seek help for his gambling, you need to get a divorce. Stop doing all his work for him and letting him get away with his gambling.

hasjewels

You should not leave the kids with him. That would be insane. The house is 50% yours and 50% his.

cndy012002

I believe he has a gambleing addiction and needs help, but right now that is not your problem you need to worry about the safety of your kids and your are right I would not leave them at home alone with him. If he stayed up all night it would not be safe to put the kids in the car with him. Maybe you and the kids should pack a few things and go stay at your mothers awhile. If he gets the house oh well, he will probably loose it anyway because oh his gambleing

mandieg512

If you're really leaving you need to take the kids with you, the reason being that as you pointed out he has a habit of just not coming home and I don't think the kids being there is going to change that. You would most likely get custody anyways since it does appear that he has a gambling problem.
I realize you need a break from the kids, but it doesn't sound like he would be reliable care even if he is their father, so the best option would be probably to take them with you and see if your mom would watch them while you go have some you time.

If you're serious about making divorce preparations, don't leave the house and kids with him. Call your mom and ask if she can come stay with you for a bit, or lean on some other family/friends if that's not practical, then go see a lawyer and find out what you need to do to kick him out.

matzldy

Wow. You have got your hands full. He is a compulsive gambler, and this is only going to improve with therapy. His priorities are with the casino and not his family. He is full of empty promises. How many more years do you want to go through this? You sound like you have given him so many opportunities to make it up but he continues to fail. You need support right now, especially with an infant in the home. If you don't know how he will do with the kids when you are away visiting your family, then take the kids with you and don't look back. Not trusting him is key to leaving. It's important that you can trust your spouse and you are unable to. Good luck in your future plans.

A D

It is past time for you to see a lawyer about this. he won't get better. He won't wake up. You and your kids are tied to him and he will drag you down. You must act. Or decide that you want to drown your kids in their dad's misery.

kayjoe21

Get him help and you help
Him: a addition consuler
you : Help for around the house untill this is all settled do you have any friends or family you can turn to?

Cheri

First it appears that your husband has a very serious addiction to gambling. Secondly, the gambling has come before the family and this includes the children.
I would not leave the home to visit your mother without the children.
If you need to go away for a little while to be away from him and visit with family, I would bring the kids. Would you be certain that he wouldn't leave the children with someone who is irresponsible or alone to pursue his addiction. This would put your children at risk or endangerment. Losing your home is always a possibility when it comes to divorce, but the most important thing that should always be in your head is simply the safety and security of your children. You are looking out for them, but you can't cover for him forever.
Best luck figuring this all out. It is extremely hard to find the end of the rope when you leave a marriage. It took me 2 years to be able to finally separate. But because of the children, make sure your decision is made up so the kids don't go back and forth. It is a painful process for all.

Bibi

Sounds like your the problem for allowing it to get this far

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