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No More
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The pain and loss will ease. You will begin to remember who you are and feel reborn by the new-found singledom of your life. Being married is great but we all lose a bit of ourselves in that union. Trust me, when you start to be yourself again someone new will come in to screw it all up again. Love will find you whether or not you are ready or not... Love finds a way. You will be better off and realize that maybe there was a reason that your marriage did not go the distance. The future will only get better. |
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herroyalmajesty_princessbifnaked
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You will survive this...Time really does heal wounds - I was with my ex for 7+ years...I'm not totally better, but I'm getting there... |
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jerry w
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Im very sorry your going thru this, there is a condition that is called the broken heart and literally a heart can break. So you need to take care of yourself. Love yourself. I know that is what everyone says but you need to a broken heart can destroy your soul. So try to love yourself.
You cannot make your wife stay it is her choice and you may have not did anything to cause this.
Try to let God help you thru this. I went thru a divorce with two children and took it very hard I prayed for along time God would change my husbands heart i didnt like the answer i heard and yes we did get a divorce i remarried years later and my children have a baby sister. So yes God listens. have been remarried five years and my ex husband has the same problems with his new wife.
God will help you.
He will never leave you never. it may seem like your alone but your not. I wish I could help your heart heal, it will just remember it was her choice you did your part. Bless you. |
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Kristin J
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Well it eventually gets better, I'm sorry to say that it does take a couple of years but when you really find the one who loves you for you, you'll forget all about her and be happy. |
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Lake_Sunsets
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I know your pain honey... I divorced my 1st husband ( I wanted out ) 5 yrs ago... the pain does go away, but it is a long process. But over time it will get better , I promise.. and later on you will find it in your heart to trust and love again. Search long and hard for the right one, and bout the time you stop looking that new wonderful women will be right in front of you waiting with open arms...
Good Luck... |
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I am, I said
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I so understand what you are going through.
This was the "pain" for me in my divorce. I thought I would never be able to get over the hurt.
Finally, I realized one day that I can't "make" her love me and that I am wasting my time and health with all this angst. At that point I was able to breathe again.
The pain eases only after you let go. |
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ANNIEBANANIES:)
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dont worry u can get through it just breath, if the marrige is over just give your heart some time to heal i takes a while but youll be able to get on your feet again over time dont worry just get through it , itll be better eventually |
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underthemosthigh@sbcglobal.net
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Yeah bro it does, I wont lie though, it takes quite awhile. Take your time and try not to be bitter towards woman in general. Its good she showed her true colors now. I know it doesn't seem like it but it's better you found out now rather than later.
Get strong then go out and find someone better. It wont be has hard as you think and the new one will be way better.
Good Luck |
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Big ole me
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I am not going to lie to you....Everything WILL be ok. You will always love her. You will go through moods that you hate her too. DO NOT START DATING TO FORGET HER........you need to get over her first, then date. Remember that all women are not the same and don't treat them as if they are going to leave too.
Has your wife told you why? Listen to her......there are things that you did wrong as well as she did....LEARN FROM BOTH YOU GUYS' MISTAKES
You will love again.....possibly stronger than now! Don't force it and it will happen! |
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Poohcat1
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What you are probably feeling is "rejection", not love. It is one of the hardest things to get over....but it can be done. It takes a little time and a lot of self analysis but it will happen. Don't beat yourself up over "your part in the breakup". Yes, maybe you weren't the best husband or whatever, but you can't turn the clock back.
Get involved in activities with other people. Not the old friends that the two of you might have had, but new people. Try going to church. Many of the larger ones have groups for certain ages or issues that could really help.
Seek out some counseling if you can. What you are going through is a process of grief....just as if someone had died. It is the normal response in this situation....but it will pass if you work at it.
Stay away from drugs or alcohol as they are both things that can and often do make the problems worse. Keep yourself busy doing healthy things. Start putting your physical and mental health as number one on your docket. In otherwords, take this time to be selfish. Be kind to yourself.
You are deeply saddened and sounds like you are having a bout of depression as well. Go talk to someone....not just on the net...but in person. You need some emotional support...right now.
In time, I promise you things will get better. You didnt say whether or not kids are involved, but if so, don't let that relationship fall away. You are still Dad.
Take heart. Things will get better. |
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arty BuildER
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havent been through this, but your question caught my attention, because this is a loss that you will have to deal with and let time guide you through it.
as with any loss, they say time heals all wounds, but in fact time only goes by and its up to you to make your life better or worse based on your attitude and personality.
reflect back on life and how you dealt with any kind of loss in the past, and you will realize that beeing strong will get you through this and someday will hopfuly be a footnote in the life of YOU... |
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hairlady
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Its kinda like losing someone to death i think. The pain is always there but after awhile daily living gets easier... You think about them some times what youd be doing together and probably get down but the best thing to do is keep busy. Find a new hobby something that is really fun and when you do it your mind is only concentrating on that... You can IM me if you want to... im a good listener... i dont know about my advice but my ears work very well |
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Sarah S
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I'm sorry to hear about your marriage. Though I've never been divorced, I have had breakups that seemed like the world would end without that person in my life. The pain will fade over time and you will learn to live your life again on your own. The time it takes for this to happen, unfortunately, depends on each individual person. It can take months or years, but believe me it will happen. You just have to take it one day at a time and try to get into a routine to take your mind off the heartbreak. Spending time with friends and family may help ease your loneliness. Hope this helps a little. Take care. |
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Scott K
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It's always difficult to suffer a loss. It sounds like this came at you rather unexpectedly? That makes it more difficult because you don't get an advance opportunity to be angry, to grieve, and to accept any of the change beforehand. It will get easier and maybe better for you in the long run. The important thing is to separate yourself from the split. She has made her choices and you need to acknowledge and accpept that, and then concentrate on yourself and your strenghts and interests. good luck. |
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Darby
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Eventually. You have to go through the grieving process before the pain lessens. Next you'll feel anger and then there will be acceptance, but you'll never be the same. Hopefully, there are some life lessons to be learned from this. I suggest you find a faith-based therapist so you can talk this out with someone. Turn it over to the Lord and ask for help to get through this. I suggest you write your marriage story and see what comes out--you may be surprised. I used to say, keep busy to get to mind off your hurt, but meditation or devotions where you are still lets you hear the Lord's message a little easier. Ask the Holy Spirit to intervene in your hurt and give you comfort. If you aren't Christian, meditate and concentrate on your breathing. Don't skip meals, get some exercise and fresh air every day and look for a place to volunteer. |
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E!ya
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I'm really sorry. I havent been through divorce. But I went through an extremely difficult break-up with a long-term boyfriend. In my heart, it took about 5 years to fully recover. Now I am truly happy with my husband and our family. I believe you can be happy again too, just give yourself time. Best wishes. |
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Mrs Shady
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A relative of mine was devastated when this happened to him.It tore me apart to watch him go through it.Obviously it will be very hard for you.Just keep your head up.The divorce is happening for a reason and as you said,there is no saving the marriage.Always look forward,your marriage may have ended but your life hasn't!You still have a life,so enjoy it while you can!Wish you the best of luck. |
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robsmom
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hey Seth...you WILL be OK. It's going to take time tho. I bet you really do love her but now you have your child to think about. Don't show her how broken up you are. She has been thru some serious emotional unbalances which are not her fault and she is probably still dealing with it all. Let her go. I know this sounds easy... it isn't and it won't be. But it will get easier. You have the hardest part to get thru right now...the divorce. Hopefully you can do it on your own to keep the expenses down. You are a sports nut (your questions) so you have something to focus on a little. You are also very young and I know you don't want to hear this, but there are going to be some deserving young women looking to meet you. Let yourself be open, but not vulnerable. Losing someone that you dream about and love with your whole heart and spent time with is sickening.. (most of us have been thru it!). Sign the papers for what you said she agreed to, especially the 50% with your son. One day you will be thankful for that. You will move on.... take it one day at a time and try to think positively about your life. Its gonna get better! |
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yaktur
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Yes you will survive and go on to find a new woman.
But you first have to go through this rotten episode in your life. |
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~~^.,.^~~
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Ahhh...
you realize that it has to be this way. The pain lessens each day and you will be ok. You will survive and you will realize one day that you have good memories but it was not meant to be.
You will grow stronger and although your guts and brain are telling you one thing the future extends out in front of you and you will have another chance to find love and you will have some experience to guide you in not making the same mistakes over again.
Cheer up! put on some good running shoes and run .. running is therapeutic to a broken heart. |
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Shannon M
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You WILL survive. Heart break can hurt as much as any illness, though. Your soul will need to recover just like a physical wound needs to recover. Nurture yourself.
I think it helps to distract yourself from the pain...Try to focus on other things, such as developing a new hobby, joining a new club, talking with friends, etc.
You might need a counselor temporarily to help you cope with the pain. Sometimes you just need to talk..talk...talk..talk...until it somehow resolves itself and you decide to move on with life.
There will be someone WAY better for you. Just think...she's out there somewhere and it will be so wonderful to meet her and fall in love again! |
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teenie
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My husband left me after 17 years of marriage I remember my heart feeling like it was broke in two and saying to myself (now i know why it's called a broken heart because that's what it feels like)your heart really does hurts. I couldn't think an hour ahead i had to take a minute then the next it just hurt to bad to think that far a head. I would think I'm not alone how many of us broken hearted people are going through this right now. I wish i had some magic words to say that would help you. After 3 months i had to be put on an antidepressant and boy did it help i took it for 5 months and then i stopped on my own. After stopping I was fine i wasn't hurting anymore maybe you should check into it if it gets to bad i know it helped me and it only took 3 days to take affect i started smiling again and the pain went away i felt good again. |
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NEL
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It does get better with time. The keyword is time. Just do for yourself and your well being, that's all you can do. It going to hurt for a little while, and you'll probably always have a place for her in your heart. Don't start dating right away to ease the pain, it doesn't work. You just have to learn to be strong. Find things/activities you can do so you won't be sitting around miserable and depressed. The pain is not going to go right away. You have to learn how to deal with it and move on with your own life. It really is a life lesson and makes you a stronger person in the end. |
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De Waanzin
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When you give her half of your stuff, you will hate her guts in no time. |
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Owenrich
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So Soory to hear about that. But the hurt will ease off slowly, I took about three years to put down my broken marriage too, but now I have put everything down started a new family of mine. You can too.
Just open yourself out to know more friends.
Cheers. |
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Yasmina B
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This is not that easy but not so tough .before u seperate ,try to find out u r wife allegations against u .u don't understand but something of u r behaviour had forced her to take the decision .Try to changed u r self.do think positive and may be some good things are waiting for u .keep u r self busy with some creative things such as yoga,exercise,music film but no drinks. |
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aggie
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Yes, It will ease up very fast, faster that you even realize it.
just give it some time.
try to make yourself busy buy working or reading or some other stuff that you like to do.
Good Luck |
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shenzhen2112
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Oh man... It almost brings back those feelings just to read your words.
I know exactly the pain you're describing. My exwife only after one fantastic year of marriage told me she wanted to 'seperate' and then shortly after than petitioned for divorce.
The pain lasts a long time but it does go away. Along with the pain comes a big blow to your self confidence and self esteem.
These to can be overcome.
Like I told someone in another forum on Yahoo answers: Time is the greatest of all physicians. It can heal most injuries to the heart, body and soul. Just give it time brother.
I don't know if you're at all interested in these other details but 5 years after our divorce I'm living in Shenzhen with my new wife and am expecting my first child. Things are going great and they can go great for you too. |
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Brown eyes
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sure just get another one |
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slipy8787
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It will take about 4 months of grieving the loss. Just make sure you don't see her. What happens is all the stress you are experiencing is actually helping you. It begins to block out memories and it hardens your heart. After a while you'll wake up one day and jus sigh and say " im ok :)" it always feels like the pain will never go away but your body will adapt to a new lifestyle and you will move on. See your friends more and focus on all the good things in your life. You'll be fine. |
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