I've felt alone and now I am confused?

I am confused. I met a guy while working a show for work. He's a recently divorced single dad. I've been communicating with him for about three months. He seems to be everything my husband isn't. Since I met him he sends me nice emails asking about what I'm doing, telling me I'm thought of. He tells me about all the activities he takes his sons too. About how he and his wife split and he took custody of the boys. We send email about our children all the time. I can't wait to get back to my PC sometimes to see if he has written to me. I felt so alone and neglected before he came along.

My husband knows something because our daughter showed him a message from the guy that had some affectionate words in it. My husband asked what it was about and asked me to stop or to introduce him to the guy. I really didn't want to stop seeing my guy so I downplayed it to my husband. Like I said, I'm confused. I've met him for lunch a few times and we sort of made out a couple of times kissing and hugging. I love the attention and affection that I've been missing. But, I don't know what the future would be like if my husband found out? I can't decide if I should stop seeing him? My kids love their dad even though I think he stays upstairs reading too much instead of playing with them. He should be down here with them and helping me with housework. I don't know which way to go? If I left my husband would the kids life be hard? Would they hate me? I don't know if my guy friend wants a long term relationship. It seems like he might.
Additional Details
Of course I've told me husband a thousand times I want him to help more. And I ask him if he's going to his cave. He kind of shrugs off these things as not serious.

Missy M

Try to remember way far back to when you first met your husband. Before kids before life. You probablly enjoyed the "newness" of him as well. He was probablly as charming (maybe more) probally swept you off your feet as much as this guy is. Sometimes as we go through life and marriage and have kids things speed up so much that we forget the little things that keep us with butterflies in our tummy's and love exploding in our hearts. The grass is almost never greener on the other side but the watering is kept up pretty darn well at first to make it look like it. After time this man will have faults, annoying quirks and he too will seem a lot less attentive to your needs. Think long and hard about when you first met your husband and how he made you feel. Figure out why you married him and what you can do to put that love and spark back into your marriage. It takes a lot of effort to start over again and like most relationships, this "boyfriend' (for lack of better word) may only last a month or two, maybe even a year after you're hubby and you divorce. Is that a risk you want to take? If so seperate from your husband now so that you can stop being sneaky. If your marriage is worthless enough for you to entertain the idea of leaving it without so much as thinking about the cost then divorce, but you wouldn't be posing this questions if you didn't feel deep down somewhere that maybe this boyfriend isn't worth it.

Space Cadet #5

All other men are what your husband isn't. Because they aren't your husband.

This guy is looking to get laid and will pull out all the stops. You're bored and falling into the easy trap.

Please let it go and return to your husband and find the good things that are waiting for you. Don't screw it up.

sarah

relationship are all fun and exciting in the beginning dummy. This new guy will get boring eventually.
BETTER OR WORSE, does anyone on Earth know what that means? I think not.
Go ahead and leave your husband for this new guy, sounds like a nice thing to do for your family.

rooney

Yes the kids would hate you if you keep whoring around and break up the family.

Longbrownhair

You're an idiot!

Tony

Amen, D's S

*. Bre Babe .*

Grass isn't always greener on the other side. Your taking the "easy" way out. Marriage isn't easy. Did your hubby do those nice things when you were first dating? I bet think hard.

golfgirl3

You are cheating regardless, you are a cheater! Quit now, you are married and you have a kid. You need to quit thinking about the What if's and focus on your marriage that you commited to your husband. You need to end this relationship now, and focus on your marriage.

alexis88883

You are cheating on your husband and you ask us if it is ok? No it is not ok. Stop or expect the results.

seastar

be honest with yourself!! How confused are you really? You are an unhappily married mother who has met someone that makes you feel loved... what is so mysterious.. it is one of the biggest cliche' s in the world.. my question is this- if you are not even serious enough about your relationship with the father of your children and the man that you married to actually talk to him honestly and give it what you have to try and work things out or at least just be straight up about where you are really at, how much more successful do you think you will be with this guy, once the initial heat of fantasy wears off and you are back to the same old shyte? I mean it sounds to me like your refusal to get real about problems might be just as much a problem as whatever your hubby is doing wrong. Having an affair is stupid. If you don't have the balls to be real, it won't work out with anyone.
Of course this is just my opinion, and I do feel for your confusion.. its just like cmon, don't you even try to talk to your husband and tell him how unhappy you are...? Go get some marriage councellingto realize what is really going on both in your marriage and in your personal life...

Tawny

Stop before you take it any further with this guy. And he might get back with his wife for all you know (or might never have left her - just told you he did), and you'd be sitting there looking stupid.

Imagine if your husband found out how he would feel - furious, hurt and probably (rightfully) never trust you again.

Talk to your husband about how you feel neglected and want more attention. Give him a chance to change. If he doesn't, tell him that you think you need marriage counseling as you are not happy in the relationship and it appears that that doesn't matter to him.

absublutely

Well...um...you obviously don't want to be married...

Old Fart

The grass is always greener on the other side..........for one reason only.........there's more sh!t on the other side.

saveanimals284

Have your tried talking to your husband? Explaining to him how you feel? This man you are emailing can easily tell you what you want to hear. How do you know who he really is? Try to work things out with your husband. I came from divorced parents and it was really hard for me. Only seeing my dad on weekends. My parents always fighting over child suport. It was no good.

Cliff C

The excitement, the thrill, the new, the different, the change in routine. How will Mr. New look when he becomes the routine. OK, your husband is upstairs "in his cave" What have you done to lure him out? Have you attempted to initiate romantic play? Is it possible that you have managed to turn him off by not responding to him to the point where he has almost given up?
I don't like to judge people but you are wrong in continuing to see this guy. What kind of damage are you doing to your marriage (trust, respect, loyalty all suffer). What kind of message are you sending for your children. Don't think they don't know, kids are smarter than may parents would like them to be.
You and your husband need to get involved with each other and if you can't talk with (not to) each other, you both need to seek professional counseling help.
Oh, Mr New knew you were married when this started. what happens if you go with him? What about the next semi-frustrated wife at the next show? All the while he is going to be thinking you cheated on your husband with him, when will you meet another new Mr. New? Again, issues of Trust, Respect, Loyalty.

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