I've just found out that my friend is having an affair, should I inform her husband?

Kiwi

It depends

If you're really both of their friends, and care about them the same amount..let him know. you dont have to tell him its you, maybe try just sending a letter /email to him at work or something from an email account you don't normally use. after all..if she's told a lot of friends, there's no telling who actually did it

However, if you're closer to her than to him.. I'd keep quiet. Just let her know you think it's very wrong, and don't want to hear anything about it anymore.

It's up to you, just do what you feel is right.

carnival queen

MYOB and steer clear of this 'friend' who has put you in a very difficult position.

tigerprincess_bee

If you feel you can tell him, if you all are close. If not leave it alone. Or send him a anonymous letter.

Hyperlink

I wouldn't get involved.

I learned long ago, never get in the middle of other people's relationships.

Rebecca W

Mind your own business, let them figure out their own relationship.

daddyrizq

First I think you should drop to your knees and show gratitude to God that it's not you. Then after that you should stay away from both until the situation is resolved. If you follow bad advice and interfere, they may both turn against you. Adultery is no longer a law that is enforced. And often many people will get back together in spite of the other spouses infidelity,the reason,children.

Your intentions may be honorable and noble, but in these cases it may be a sign to end this friendship and guard your tongue and mind your business!

I would mind my own business

David

try to convince her to stop having an affair first if it doesn't work than let the man know

Coley

They behead the bearer of bad news as the old saying is said & it certainly applies here! Talk to your girlfriend about it & make it clear you don't want to know about her fling cuz it puts you it a bad situation. Tell her you think it is wrong she is not being faithful to her vows and you don't judge her for what she is doing just don't discuss details with you cuz if the hubby questions you about things or her whereabouts you truthfully want to tell him you don't know. This is what I said to my friend who was doing the same thing & it worked out fine & she has respected my position- she also gave up the fling awhile later-just be supportive and not judgemental

smiler

It is a very difficult call.They are both your friends, and your conscience is troubled. If you do not tell him then you are not a true friend. If you do tell him you may end up losing the friendship of both of them.
I had a similar experience a long time ago ( about 15 years ago). I had an indirect chat with my friend who was having an affair and found that she knew what she was doing was wrong but the thrill of it was what was blinding her to the fact that she was destroying not only her own integrity but was also destroying the lives of her partner and her siblings. To me she was a very selfish person.
Eventually I wrote a detailed but anonymous letter. It created havoc with their lives but their relationship was strong enough to withstand the trauma.
We are still friends. Do I regret writing that letter? The answer is no, but this is a very hard call.
Good luck.

smurf_lou

I'd tell her that she needs to tell her husband or you will....give her until the end of the week or you'll call him.

How would you feel if you were married and your husband was having an affair and all his mates knew about it and said nothing. You'd feel humiliated that no-one told you.

robert x

Do yourself a favour and do nothing. its none of your business so leave well alone..

Sesoid

It is a very tricky situation, since although you are friends with both of them, you might end up without any of them.

I have found myself in the situation before and I have told the affected party, and it turned out at the end that neither of them wanted anything to do with me, drawing me to the conclusion that one never, ever must get in-between a couple; you always end up losing.

I would probably just stay out of the situation as much as I can, that way you avoid getting into unnecessary trouble.

Good luck!

tottiepeel42

It is her place to tell her husband she is the one having the affair not you if you do tell him in most of these kind of cases you will be made the bad guy and her and her husband will make up you will have lost 2 friends I can understand you feeling sorry for the husband there is 2 side to every story this is between her and him he told you in confidence so keep it in confidence its her responibilty to tell hi she has someone else not yours tell her how you feel and say you dont want to know anymore about it if the husband suspects and asks you say speak to your wife I dont know and I ont want to

FrenchCan007 G

I think you answered your own question...if you are sure about this...then let him know. You might be simply accelerating the story to the end part.

Angel

Have you ever heard the term shoot the messenger, first you should maybe speak to this woman cause at the end of the day she's the one in the wrong, Telling your male friend might not be the best way to start, i would warm the girl that she is going to get caught and might as well come clean. Be very careful cause its the ones on the outside that get the blame

hannahboo

i wouldnt say a word, its a hard situation but, dod you really think it will help? you could end up being blamed for breaking up the family, even though its HER fault.

Cjkika E

Listen,please tell him. Really if she wanted to be married she wouldn't be doing this. I really think you need to tell him

simmy 2

Dont tell him yourself , tell people that you know will tell him .
That way he gets to find out , but it wasnt you that told him .

Butternut27

No stay out of it..and be there to comfort....

Vanessa C

Yeah, I'd tell him. But as it's your friend, I would speak to your friend first and tell her that you are going to tell her husband if she doesn't finish the affair or finish the marriage. But be prepared, you may lose your friend!!

Hope it all turns out OK.

I still love Jose UC bluea

no, because the messenger is the one who is always shot.
you don't even know whether her husband knows or even cares.
each marriage is different.
i don't agree with it, i would just suggest you keep your distance and
tell her you don't want to hear about it. if you tell it could split the family.and you will probalby lose both friends
she might stop in a week or two, you can tell her the dangers, but
do not tell her husband.

tacc

Stay out of it. He'll find out eventually. He may already know. If she's telling everyone, he'll find out soon anyway. Sometimes both of them may turn on you for getting into it.

Edward D

if i had absolute proof i would tell him/her straight away and save a lot of pain/heartache later on he will be devastated.if his so/called friends knew and never told him.

ibuildfuru

Depends on how well I know his husband and how strong my friendship is with her. I might occasionally drop a hint here and there to her husband.

But if you aren't close with her husband he may take offense to it as well. You can bet that more than likely if you say something direct to him, he'll check it with her first and she'll grill to the ends of the earth to find out who and he'll cave and you'll have no friend anymore.

Best to play it by ear and remind her that you are having a hard time respecting her for the decision that she's making. Its up to you as to what kind of "friend" you want to have. More than likely, if she's trumpeting all over, someone at some point will tell husband.

Harmeet rocks

just be away from that stuff because conseqences may lead the nature be against you you maytry to explain AND THAT IS YOUR LIMIT as you can lose her faith

lilyann

Set it up to where he finds out on his own. That would be funny.

My initials are B.S.

Tell her that you know, and let her know that if she doesn't tell him by a certain time--like a week, that you will tell him. It should come from her. Other than that, stay out of it.

Lester

You have a difficult choice, but one of them is not whether or not to inform her husband. You definitely should not. You will only wind up getting yourself in the middle of a possibly 'deadly' conflict. Your choice is whether or not to continue being a close friend of the wife. If you remain close and help her to continue in the relationship, you are aiding her, and in essence, approving of what she is doing. When the 'affair' is made public, you'll be seen as someone who helped it aong. I'd not be as friendly as I had been in the past, i.e., I definitely wouldn't be allowing her to talk to me about the affair or let her "talk down about her husband" to me. If either occasion starts to occur, I'd be blunt and say, "I don't want to even know about your affair, much less talk about it. And I don't want to listen to you talk about it." Also, "I am a friend of both you and your husband. I think you should talk to him about your dissatisfaction with him. Certainly not me. Please don't try to tell me anything negative about him or yourself." I'd try my best to only be around them whey both were able to be present. They will both admire you and like you in the long run.

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