I NEED HELP PLEASE MY WIFE LOVES ME BUT NOT IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE?
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I NEED HELP PLEASE MY WIFE LOVES ME BUT NOT IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE?
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ok here we go..Im 23 my wife is 22 we have a son hes 10 months..everything seemed soo perfect..but I was wrong...My wife says she loves me but not in love with me anymore...I am soo confused and hurt right now...I don't understand what went wrong...last Dec she told me that she would be OK with us moving back to California because it was better for us money wise..it would be better for us and the baby..so I agreed to get my job back and work until I had enough money saved up to move them out there..
She didn't come with me because im staying with my sister and its way to crowded.
she was sad when I first left and missed me...but now its April and now she says that she loves me but not in love with me...This devastated me...im soo depressed right now..Well she said she needed to get her head together so she ask if she could go to Spain with her friend Amber..I agreed that she should go so she could clear her head...her mom watched the baby while she was gone..she was gone for 5 days..when she returned she said she loved it and she would be living there if it wasn't for the baby...and she would not have married me if we didn't have the baby..but that made no sense to me because it was her idea to start a family....that broke my heart..then she told me that she is still coming to California but we need to take it a day at a time...and if we cant work then she was going to leave...I got some advice from a friend and he said that im probably smothering her way too much and to not call her as much and to not say I love her as much.. well that's what I did...and it seemed to work...all I would tell her is that I miss my son...after a couple times of that she said ..."oh!! just your son!!" and then she hung up on me...I called her back later and told her that I loved her and did miss her.. the next day her grandfather died...I felt really bad..and let her know I was here for her..she just flew out this morning.for the funeral .Then she called me and said that she wants me and her to work and be a family but she has to go back to Spain 1 more time...for 5 more days...This broke my heart again and I told her that I respect her and go head and clear your head but before you do..I asked her not to waste my time...just to tell me if she still wants to come to California and work out our problems and be a family ....she said "of course" don't know what all this means....don't know what to do ..I fill lost...and scared..I miss my son..and she keeps pushing us back by taking these trips...I don't know what to do ..it seems like shes really confused but still loves me.. I know this is a lot to read...but I need some input..some help.
thank you
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tinker
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just read your story you must remember things in life are much simpler than we make them out to be people always do what they want to do if your wife wanted to be with you nothing would keep her from being there she would work and plan and want her family to be together and to grow when a person starts making excuses about being with you they dont want to be with you the going to spain thing just thinking of the money and planning and effort it would take to do that if she spent that same amount on your relationship she would be with you not to mention the lack of caring for your son there is someone in spain or shes meeting someone in spain i know this hurts but everyone deserves someone who would love them enough to not lie and work hard at being there for them you need to face the fact that this girl has lost her infatuation for you feels guilty and wont tell you the truth you desreve better the hardest thing for all creatures to do is face the unknown oftentimes we will stay in a bad situation rather than facing the fear of being alone if you do the right thing the right thing will happen youre young there IS someone out there who needs you as much as you need her pray about it be a nice guy and one day all this will be behind you take care of your child this is an oppertunity for you to grow int that person that will be a happier stronger person and one day youll look across that crowded room and youll find her God bless |
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Shawn
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She sounds too self absorbed to really love anything but herself.
Loving is being able to put others before you and your wants.
"Has to go back to Spain"? What, left the kettle on? No, that wouldn't take 5 days to fix.
If she can't "find herself" here, she'll be wasting time in Spain, if that's the supposed purpose.
"loves me but not in love with me anymore" generally means there's someone else.
The "oh!! just your son!!" bit doesn't make her sound too mature. |
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blueberry
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it's a lost cause |
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Marcy
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I DISAGREE WITH THE OTHER ANSWERS I BELIEVE PEOPLE FALL IN AND OUT OF LOVE WITH EACH OTHER MANY TIMES OVER THE CORSE OF THEIR MARRIAGE, I DO HOWEVER THINK SHE NEEDS TO GET MORE SERIOUS ABOUT HER FAMILY--I RECOMEND U GO TO WALMART OR MOVIE STORE AND U BOTH SIT TOGETHER AND WATCH FIREPROOF AND THAT U BUY THE BOOK THAT GOES WITH THE MOVIE MYBOYFRIEND OF 4 YRS GOT IT AND I AM SHOCKED AT THE CHANGES HE MADE IN JUST ONE WEEK FROM THE SOUND OF THINGS GET 2 BOOKS AND U BOTH READ THEM AND FOLLOW ALL DIRECTIONS IT REALLY CAN WORK---GOOD LUCK |
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MaMa
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Tell her that she is on her own. You don't need or deserve that kind of treatment, or the disrespect & heartache. |
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Tanya B
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First, who is financing your wife's trips to Spain? If it's you then she is only telling you that she wants to get back together, so you will give her money. If not then, why does she have to go all the way to Spain to clear her head? I have been in the same situation with a past boyfriend and I was able to clear my head and decide what I was going to do right at home.
Your real problem is that you are living far apart, it is easy to get over someone when they are not around, out of sight out of mind.
I know that you are hurt and confused, but you need to take control of the situation, because right now your wife has all the control and you are the one getting hurt. Tell her that you understand that she is confused and that you love her, but 4 months is long enough to get your head clear and that going to Spain is not the answer to your relationship problems, it's running away and being childish. Then you need to let her know that your going to start living your life, because the way that you are living is causing you too much pain. Hopefully she will be able to give you a response and stop leading you on.
Good Luck and Best Wishes |
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Satanic Brainsmasher
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She will love you until another man takes her away from you. |
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Weatherninja
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You two probably married too young and for the wrong reason. I did most of my growing up after 22, and I don't think I wound recognize myself today at 30. Be that as it may, though you have to be the grown up here, especially because you have a child. Draw a line in the sand for your wife; either she wants to be with you today and forever or not. If the answer is anything other than yes and not followed by immediate action, you need to act on getting custody of your son so you can raise him. Not to make light of the pain and heartache you feel, but your son is really going to be the one to suffer in an unhappy marriage. You must do something to give him stability and a loving environment. You can't undo the past, but you can do the best you can with the future. |
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enjoi
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**** that ***** man...
she doesnt love youre working your butt off for it to work and she doenst seem to be do anything about it?
why does she wanna go back to spain? is she seeing someone else?
leave with your kid and enjoy life together it seems she doesnt want to be in your guy's life anymore.. sorry |
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Lil L
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The relationship is just goin down the drain it may be a lost cause bro. |
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SiCkEStxGAMERChiC
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pray to god im so serious
he's the one that gave the relationship to begin
show him that u want your wife and your relationship
that what i did and i got my husband back . our relatioship still lil rocky but were working on it
just go to her show her that u need her .
a woman loves it when her man goes to her and shows that he actually cares by showing in person..'
i hope everything works out god bless you and your family
i'll pray |
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