I abandonded my daugther due to my jealous wife ... she's now 21.?

Another case of the "grass is not greener on the other side".

You have to attempt to communicate, that's a start. Your fear has kept you away far too long.

Bear

DUDE..your 10 yers too late..u should have never done it to begin with. However u can at least tell that bigfoot to shut the F up or get the F out,,,thats your daughter...you as a man need to stand up and MAN-UP to her!!

Maureen B

I think you are a total peiece of crap for allowing a woman to come between you and your daughter in the first place.Don't expect a warm fuzzy welcome...

BaiseMoi

men, men, men
you love Pus-sy Wow
Because of Pus-sy Man, come on.
find you child and make her understand and build your relationship with her.
Good Luck

noitall

At least you know that you were a shithead. Wow. It took you 10 years to grow up? Very sad. Leave them alone. Or at least contact the ex wife and let her decide. Maybe your 21 yr. old daughter thinks badly of you. Wow. Where was your backbone or your manhood in all this?!!!!

Michelle M

Good Luck It is worth a try.

a_lot_smarter_now

That's part of the 12 steps, dude. Making amends to the ones you've "wronged". It's a good thing. Be prepared, though, for them to be angry. You betrayed them both. You have to take that too. Karma is brutal sometimes. Let them know what the situation has been. Let your daughter know how sorry you are....for not being there all this time. Let her mother know that you do realize you were a sorry piece of crap for what you did. Nothing can take away the pain or suffering they went through, but you will have closed a chapter, and at least tried to make sincere apologies. That's all you can do.

toyanlee

BEING AN ABANDONED CHILD MYSELF, ITS NEVER TOO LATE. I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM MY FATHER SINCE I WAS 10. I'M 27 NOW. MY GRANDMOTHER KEEPS IN TOUCH HERE AND THERE SINCE I FOUND HER LAST YEAR BUT HE IS YET TO CALL ME. CALL hER. EVEN IF SHE'S BITTER, AT LEAST YOU'LL KNOW.

chinamigarden

Then you really didn't leave due to your jealous wife did you? You left becasue you had an affair and got another woman pregnant. You left your daughter because of your jealous girlfriend who later became your wife.

My advice is to own up to your mistakes and call your daughter, forget about making amends with the ex, that ship sailed years ago.

kauai_lvr

I think you are in for a hard ride. You can try to contact her but I wouldn't expect her to like you very much. If I were you I would start with the ex and find out how the daughter feels, she'll be able to clue you in as to whether she is resentful or has forgiven you for being an scumbag. Good Luck, you are seriously going to need it.

PS. You should try to find a backbone somewhere along the way too.

sexy haitien

I dont think you should be with anyone you not happy with. However let her know that ur child means a lot to you,go behind her back and call your ex-wife and your daughter.

go for it! be prepared for a fight but you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't try!

Barbiq

A girls first love is their father. Shame on you for abandoning her! You should find her and try to make amends, but don't be surprised if the door gets slammed in your face. You have a lot to answer for and 10 years is a long time. I hope you find your daughter happy and healthy with a heart willing to forgive. Not for your sake, but for hers.

Sonya K

hi,
at first i wanted to yell at you but after reading this i feel sorry for you going form a wonderful life to a life of hell. get in touch with you ex-wife and daughter and ask them to forgive you for doing what you did. try to make amends it is a good thing.

Cherry

i dont know where to start... i dont know my dad b/c he left my mom when he found out she was pregnant, she was nineteen and PG with twins. i can only tell you i resent him extremely and only hope to never meet him.

jaysive

Ohhhh man, i would wait a lilbit and let them like cool off, but then again it has been ten years so i would say go for it, but whateva u do dont try to win the over by buying them a bunch of stuff, ull get used my friend

hope that helped

c_gater77

I guess I don't have to say "shame on you", because you know you did wrong. However, it's worth trying to make amends, but don't be surprised if your daughter is very resentful toward you. She may have nothing to do with you ever again and you have no choice but to accept it. She didn't ask for the hand she was dealt, but I'm sure she has played it accordingly. My father left my mother for another woman at the age of 2, then at the age of 17 decided to be a dad. I tried to be friendly, but I have to say it didn't work. Anyway I'm now 30 with a family of my own and my dad has since passed, however when I heard about it, I was not upset, it was no different to me than reading about a stranger in the local obituaries. You made your bed now you must lay in it. I wish you all the best and I pray things for you will be positive.

H.B.K. 2

I think you're an idiot for doin' what you did. But, that being said, if you truely wish to make amends, it starts with a phone call to find out if it's possible. Be prepared for a rejection (which you would deserve) but be honest and truthful.

EGOman

You screwed up BIG
What you want is probably not what they want SO don't expect much in return except anger and animosity. However if you feel the need to contact your daughter, give it a try, its better than not trying at all. As far as your ex is concerned, I'd let that sleeping dog lie. Will only cause trouble with you trying to establish a relationship with your daughter.

funkychunky7000

all you can do is try

Peggy C

Do the right thing, Kids are so feeling bad today cause of fathers running out...... Think of your life how would you feel if every one ran out on you.
Think ..... then do the right thing

I guess, you didn't love you daughter, enough. To deal with your wifes jealousy.
So you chose to abandon her. Now you have no relationship with her, because of it.
You probably missed out on a whole bunch of memories.
I think, your using your wife as an excuse, to justify, your actions.

Law School

No do not contact her. Due to your lack of honesty. You abandonded them so you would have it easier and now you want what you want and no I don't think it's a good idea. You need to seek out counseling too.

ABC

i know a few people who are actually in a very similar situation. My uncle was married to someon and had a kid with her but the guy cheated and his wife forgave him. but the second time his wife found out and she left him and too kthe kid. Now he's married to this woman who is soooo controlling that he cant even talk when shes around. and shes so jealous that everytime he goes out, his wife makes him call her and let her talk to everyone hes with. He also has 2 kids with her. she really got him stuck. and he cant even talk to his exswfe whom i think he still loves.
so i think that u should really talk to ur ex and try to make amends with ur daughter because its not fair for her. and it might be ruff at frst but i really think u should get to know ur daughter. dont give up to easily.

Your_Star

you can try...but I'm sure theres a lot of resentment towards you and your new wife.

â™«You hate Cuz I'm a RockStar

sigh...Poor thing of your wife.She probably has a better life now with someone else who loves her to.I'm sure your Daughters have a figure father.(you dont need to be a Biological father to be a father I'm sure you know).But you can try to contact to at least see them.If shes 21 it will probably be really hard for her to understand.I would leave it alone.After all these years...might as well dont.But go with your heart.I'm sure they are at least Curiouse to know who you are.

Starla_C

The damage is done. Leave them alone.

ERICKSMAMA

Go for it...just find their number and call her up...she is probably dating someone serious or in college. Right now would be a wonderful time to talk to a 21 year old daughter...They are growing up and can see two sides of a story.

springer

You want to go back. It is next to impossible to go back, due to all the pain you have caused. You can try. But do not expect a miracle. Where is the second wife? If she is still in the picture you are only asking for more trouble. Don't rub salt into a wound. If you have left that woman and are free to have a relationship with your daughter, without the cause of your leaving, you make have a chance. Your ex wife, she would probably like to hear you tell her you made a big mistake. But that does not put you back together as a family. You are dreaming , your family was destoryed by your actions and you paid a high price. Take what you can get and be glad that they will even talk with you.

KoKo.Licious

All you can do is try.

cutie

u should have never let her come between u and your child. She sounds like a selfish child.

Brenda

Hey .. Looks like you have alot of fans on here. I Just wanted to say I can somewhat understand how you feel. I left my daughter when she 16 over a man who convinced me I didn't have to put up with her mouth and the way she treated me. For the first 3-4months I felt part of me die and part of me come to life. Every time she would call all she did was Btch until my boyfriend started telling me NOT to take the calls. God that killed me. As a result she ran away to another state across the country from me. After 4years I couldn't do the boyfriend anymore, he was a control freak. of course! My Baby did come back home and she still has a mouth on her and no respect for me. Today however, we are working on comunication and dealing with the past and bad decisions mom made and even she made. I just don't get how you could do it for 10years and NOW you want to place all the Blame on your wife. Like others on here have said , You really need to man up!!! Do a search and learn what it takes to be a Man, Dad, Husband, Lover , and A FREIND. Your daughter is human and may forgive you,(for reasons in her life) but it will probably so she can let go of her pain.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: