I am a military wife. In this economy, do I leave my incredible job to PCS with my husband?

Rudi A

This is something you really need to discuss with your husband as
it is a touchy area for anyone here to give you any advise as to what
to do. Money is one thing and love is another. If your marriage is stable
then sometimes sacrifices need to be made, then sometimes not,
it all depends. The PCS move that your husband is making , how
long is it, where , and what kind of job will he have, should be taken
under consideration also. With kids in college and in school money
is definitely needed, and that also should be taken under consideration
by both parties. As a ex military man who has a wife and twin girls
which are married now, many decisions had to be made when it came
time for PCS moves, and sometimes they came with me and
sometimes they did not, so this is an issue you and your husband
need to sit down and weigh out the differences to see if it is better that
you stay or go with him, and he also needs to realize what might be
better for the family if you stay or go with him, either way a solution
has to come up and the only ones that can really come to that
solution is you and him. Marriage can still be solid even if one is
separated from the other at times, as I am still married to my wife
of over 22yrs, and I spent 20yrs of that in the military, so it just takes
a little extra effort by both parties. Good luck.

HollyyMarie

do you love money or do you love your husband?
your children are over 18 years old, they can get loans and get jobs
you do not have to pay for them to be in college
as much as i would love my parents to pay for my college i wouldnt ask ever
you need to be with your husband
but looks like you gotta chose

money or him?

good luck
hollyy

Joyce C

money is not everything but that is a huge decision with great impacts on your whole family. you need to talk to your husband at length and way the pros and cons, then go with your heart. good luck on what ever you do.

Mz shorty

am sure you could take a break or secondment, speak to your managers/supervisors, see what they can offer you

booster

hard decision to make and i do have sympathy for you. but i think you just need to weigh up | money vs how much you love your husband | tough decision to make, hope you make the right choice.

Lady YA

A poor family together is better than a rich family torn apart.

You should just live within your means. State college if need be.

**No one on their death bed ever said "I wished I would have spent more time at work making money."

Faede

Your husband and your marriage can never be replaced by an income.
My advice would be to not loose something you cannot replace. A job is a job, money is money. The love and friendship you have with your husband and your marriage will never be replaced and your children will see career and money mean more to you than keeping your family together. Just some thoughts. I wish you well.

As harsh as this may sound, you do not owe your children a college education. If you love your husband and your marriage, my vote is to follow him.

ramni222

you are a clear thinking person.

there must be a middle ground where you can spend time with the family and keep your job.

these are difficult economic times and i think it will last longer than anyone imagine.

commuting / traveling to see the family weekly or monthly is one option.

what is pcs?

rosey G.

Money is not everything....how long are we talking?

My brother works for Chrysler and he had to leave DE to go to MI to work for the next 80 months until he is able to retire...unless things go different and they reopen the local plant here.

There home and child and grandchildren are here. He comes home when he can approx monthly.

I want to say this..if you have a good marriage and love your husband, money does not matter. You will be able to find another job.

I have been married several times due to bad choices and there is no way on earth, for no amount of money would I leave my husband, whether he had to leave for work, or me...I would do whatever it takes to stay with my husband.

How would you feel if you stayed and he left and something happened and he was killed? Whether in a car accident, or an act of war?

I asked my husband recently ( he refuses to sell our house because he is 'attached') I said, if you had to transfer to a different plant, would you want me to stay here with the house or come with you? He said, 'I would want you with me'.

Your husband wants you with him. Be with him. True love is very very hard to find. Trust me. I know.

How would you feel if you stayed, he goes and he gets lonely and falls into the arms of another woman?

Personally, I feel a man and a woman, married or not, married for 2 years or 20, they need to be together.

You have to do what makes you feel good and make a decision that you can live with. No one knows what is best for you but you.

I realize the economy is bad and money is important these days.

My old neighbors, they were air force. He was in Korea for a year. I think it harmed their marriage. She was always glad when he was away.

I feel you can get a decent job even though it may not be what you are making right now. If you own or are buying your home and want to retire where you live now, then tell your husband you will be there/here when he gets back.

You might want to think about...how many years until he retires and how much longer do you plan on working after he retires?

You know the way to make a decision with the piece of paper with the two columns..the pros and cons? It might be time for that.

Having someone love you is more important than all the money in the world.

We live on one income and it gets rough from time to time. I am very ill and unable to work and SS is giving me a way to go to get my money that I am entitled too. We have large medical bills and he cringes if I want to turn the air conditioner on. We do not live large. But we are happy. We laugh, we love, we live. We are happy even though we are not wealthy.

I am a veteran and I worked my whole life until a few years ago. I am too ill to work and have no choice but be a little poor.

You need to sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel and try to come to a compromise. He is the person you chose and you love him and he loves you.

I am sure whatever decision you both make together will be the best one. He is your best friend and your soul mate. Do what is best for your marriage, not your bank account.

wishing you the best.

rosey

monicakryzelle_fortes

sometimes, you have to sacrifice to do what is really right..not just for you, but your entire family..as what you said, you WANT to be with him but you NEED huge paying job..also, think about the future of your children..do you want them to feel all the sufferings that you have done before because your poor? and besides, what do you think will your children think if you leave them? it's enough that their dad isn't there with them, but both their parents?..think about it..

skeleton.kissed

Well first off, it sounds like you in your heart really don't want to leave your job. You love him and want to be with him but your career is important to you. Secondly, the way I see it is that you shouldn't have to sacrifice the job you want and the money you want to make for your husband. What if you asked him to quit the military to be with you while you work? Do you think he'd do it?
If being in the military is something that's really important to him, this question would probably insult him and make him upset. You shouldn't have to give up your career, just as he shouldn't.

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