I am a very nice person. But my question is why do I can keep attracting the wrong guys?

serena m

My prayers are with you and your kids.But when you get up in the morning. Look in the mirror and say to yourself "I am beautiful"! "I am pretty and I am worth being happy". Try to stay positive and look on the negative as learning survival skills. The one thing this man did for you is made you stronger and a blessing for others around you. Jesus loves you and so do thousands other. Tell your kids you love them every second you spend with them. And be thankful they are apart of your life. We can't make people change to the way we would like them to act. Free Will - God gave it to us all. So remember smile and say I survived" LIFE" for one more Minute, hour, day.

Jerri in Montana

Oh my goodness! I have had a similar life. My sons are 34 and 33 now, but I look back and realized that the BEST thing I ever did was to join a Help Line for Domestic Abuse. I learned so much. Lots of training, talking, crying, sharing, loving....I could go on forever! It helped me in so many ways that I can't type them all. What is inside your heart and brain is what needs to be fixed...fine tuned....healed, whatever. Go and you'll change your life and your childrens' life enormously.

eveeblack

step back and take a look at what similarities exist between the two and step out of your box...stop being so nice! you are prey to these men becasue they know they can walk all over you...take evasive action! be assertive! check'em out! do not be afraid! know you can do better and better will arrive one day...sometimes good things come knocking when you are least expecting....karma is real dear girl

Corvette!!

Okay here is your answer. We attract people from our filters in life. I'm not sure about your childhood, but you might want to dig around in there to get your answer. Write down what you want and go for it. When you start to draw near the wrong person again, you will have to have some self-control and say NO!!....

Gina

It sounds to me like there are some self esteem issues going on with you. Just because bad things are happening to you does not mean it is your fault. There are several resources that you can use to get help. Check your community for things like a family resource center or other such organization. Battered women shelter also can direct you. They can get you in touch with programs for talking to a councelor, education, childcare, employment, safe housing ... etc. I've been in situations much like yours and found that my community has a lot to offer. If you need someone to talk to contact me via my email and I would be more than happy to be a friend while you work your way through all this nasty stuff. Just remember.... life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away. You can get through this but you can't do it alone. Believe me I tried doing that and it's a battle that will kill you so keep those that love you close and use your community for help. Lean on them a little, believe in yourself and you will overcome. Every storm has it's grey clouds but if you look there is always a silver linin and when the storm is over a beautiful rainbow. Keep your chin up girl and contact me if you need someone to listen.

Tara

Sometimes you have to pick through some ugly weeds to find that one beautiful flower.

Bookworm

bad boys like good girls.

if you're having this much relationship trouble, take some time off to yourself and focus on making you and your children happy. Don't focus on finding the "right" man so much that you depress yourself.

Your children don't HAVE to have a father, but a male influence of some kind is still good to have (i.e. a grandfather, an uncle, etc)

Don't sweat it, honey. Enjoy life in the present or it will pass you by. :)

Wishin On A star

I'm so sorry! I have two kids myself.The father is also abusive.I'm not as happy as i want to be and i find my self running back to him.He also changed after ther birth of our first.We just seperated today. I feel that i dont want anyone else and im afrabe to move on. i find myself waiting for him ot call.If your like me then your afrade that a good guy wont wont to deal with the baggage you carry.
I'll be praying for you. please do the same for me.

Ellie

Well its only two guys out of hundreds of possible guys. Don't be so ready to fall in love with them and have babies with them in future honey. You may need some kind of therapy to help you work out why you fall for not such nice men. Not all men are baddies. Yes, sure you are going through a tough time but it will get better and all will be well again. Forget, don't waste energy on wishing negative things to happen to him because all that will do is breed more negativity for yourself. Concentrate right now on you and your kids and growing as a person and when the time is right the right man will come along. There should be a club for 'im a nice person so why do i keep attracting all the wrong guys'- maybe you should start one, charge everyone a tenner to join and you will be mega rich at the end of the month!

Rein

sister, you need to lengthen your interview process...no i am not kidding you. become friends with a man first, find out things about past relationships, see how he talks about them, meet his friends, how do they treat you, his family will also indicate things. does he have job stability, if he has been in the same job for a while, then he has the character to work with people. find out things like this...get to know them well and don't just say, he seems sooooooooo nice and jump in hoping. this is how you avoid the bad ones. good luck.

leprkaun2u

It's the message we put out. I,too, inform people to much about my life. I'm nont gonna bust religion out but it has helped me live for myself, now.

Ya no estoy en Y!R por Facebook!

Probably because you're attracted to that kind of persons, a change would do much good in your life.

Good luck!!

August

A friend of mine jokingly said once, 'Bad girls get best guys' and 'Good girls end up with worst guys'..it was hillarious.

Anyways, i emphathise with your situation and would only ask you to try to be strong. Pray to your favourite God. What doesn't kill you, would only make you strong. You have your kids? your angels?! :) Look after them. Make them independent, caring and nice human beings. Don't worry, God always send a guardian angel and you should be fine. Nothing good really passes you by if you have faith. I don't want this to sound like a lecture, but my prayers are with you in this testing time. Have faith.

I dedicate couple of songs for you tonight :)
Hero
-Mariah Carey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWlS8Oerx8o
There's a hero,
If you look inside your heart,
You don't have to be afraid of what you are,
There's an answer,
If you reach into your soul,
And the sorrow that you know will melt away.

[chorus]
And then a hero comes along,
With the strenght to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive,
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong,
And you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road,
When you face the world alone,
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold,
You can find love,
If you search within yourself,
And the emptiness you felt will disappear.

[chorus]

Lord knows,
Dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away,
Hold on,
There will be tomorrow,
In time you'll find the way.

[chorus]

That a hero lies in.....you
Ooohh that a hero lies in.....you

You gotta be
- Des'ree
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhpZfltbnAQ
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Readin' the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my heh, hey
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
Don't ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can't stop it, if you try to
This time it's danger staring you in the face
Oh oh oh Remember
Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
My oh my heh, hey, hey
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Owen E

After I read this I could only have my mouth drop and then I prayed for you and your kids it is shocking that someone would treat another human being like this.

May God Bless You and Your Kids. Best Wishes and next time just look for the nice guy rather then the cute hot guy or Mr. Danger.

R B

I hope things change for you. try meeting guys at church type groups. Maybe you should just forget about meeting guys and try going it alone. Its better than being treated so poorly.

Good luck

CINDY J

Well I hope you are apart from both of the guys from your past.
You have something very special that you need to hold onto and cherish with all of your heart and that is your children. The love you share is better than any love you can get from anyone else and that is a bond that will never be broken.
Focus on the good things in life and eventually you will find a good man to share your happiness and family with. Put your hatred behind you and come to peace with the whole ordeal (realize that you wouldn't have the child you have been blessed with without him, no matter how much you dislike him). Try soul mate searching in better locations such as events evolved around your children or a local church, or a good volunteer program. Good luck and keep your chin up!

Psychic/Medium and Artist

Could it be that you Believe that's all you deserve?

Angela M. R.

They saying goes," you attract what you dislike the most." Here is my first advice STOP LOOKING! focus on your kids. it's all about them and you now. Honey that was your second go around. There is another saying," humans are the only living creature that trips on the same rock twice." Here is my second advice, trusting people completely is never a good thing. Seems, that you lost yourself. Take these steps before going any further in the dating area. Know yourself, be financially dependent, set standards, don't settle. Listen to someone whose been there.

cHoIcHoI

be careful who you get pregnant with, and keep praying

Rommy show

Baby girl,i will be praying for you,but do you no that you cant no maybe you are nice or not.is only a person that is close to you that can proof that ,but their is an adage that say you dont have to trust anyone but you have to trust someone.for more information email my address.princessronky4luv@yahoo.com. i will be expecting your message in order to give you more information because my time is gone.baby loveyou and wish to see your message.

KLBM

You should go to a woman's shelter (Nova Vita). They will be able to tell you about the cycle of control and violence. It's complicated and psychological. It is said that a victim once is prone to being a victim all their life. You need to be able to recognize what you are worth, know what your values are, and know what you will not compromise on! It is really easy to want to please all of the time, do things just to make someone else happy. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be taken advantage of very easily. A man who is liable to become abusive is likely to show signs of controlling behaviour from the start. A man like the last one was probably likely to have shown signs that he wasn't too concerned about you, not caring about your priorities and preferences. Go talk to an expert about it. This will be a process, you can't do it alone, rally support behind you. That's what women are for!

Jordan M

Wow, i am sorry for this cruel and idiotic man u met. I give all my prayers out to u and ur family. God Bless

Sophie B

Perhaps you should spend a little more time getting to know people before going to bed with them---

mamaw2305

Love hurts and you are loving the wrong kind of guys.Try to get to know them much better and take your time on a commitment until you are sure.Sorry you are going through hard times and hope you find the happiness you deserve in life

April H

Girl, me and my friends would say that My ideal man was one with: A criminal history a mile long, have a drug and/or alcohol problem, be abusive, and also be in constuction work of some kind, because that is all I EVER dated (which most of my ex's are now in the pen). Just be patient and believe that there at least a couple of good guys left because I finally found one, and it will happen when you least expect it. I am now married to my boyfriend from the 5th grade!! O by the way my prayers are with you and your children.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: