I am confused....any advice.?

My husband is in Marine recruit training, He left me with no money and I had to move back in with my parents. I love him but I am so confused...are relationship wasn't the best...controlling on both sides lots of yelling. I feel so good that he is gone. I ahve been hanging out with my friends. Partying. But tonight I got a sudden saddness over me. I love him and miss him, I dont know what to do. He knows how I feel. I have only sent him one letter in bootcamp telling him how angry I am with him. That was a week ago. His DI let him call home. I was mean to him on the phone. idk. The day I sent out the letter that was very mean...when I went to get the mail he sent me a letter saying how sorry he is for everything and he is changed. Should I believe him. He even wrote a letter to my parents saying sorry for the way he treated their daughter.

craig b

The greatest issue facing people going into separation / divorce is that for most, it's the first time they have to be really alone!
People do not do alone very well.
You lived at home. You lived with him. You moved back home. You can't do ALONE!
So then, what's the secret to finding peace and tranquility within a marriage? It's doing the really hard work at facing your own problems and insecurities and correcting them in yourself BEFORE you set into a new relationship. This way, when the other person does not come through for you and does not support your needs - you can fall back on the internal support system that you should have already gained to be a complete and whole person.
How many people can actually do this?
Maybe 1 in 50 if you're lucky.
Want to know where to gain this personal insight and knowledge?
Do the 13 week DivorceCare program.
You do not have to be divorced or separated to do this.
Almost everyone that goes through this program comes out the end with -"I wish I had known all this before I got married."

Why are you confused?
Because you don't really know who YOU are yet and you're trying to find your wholeness from another person. It doesn't work that way. You will always fail because the other person is never whole and has nothing to give you that will complete YOU!
The thing in "Jerry McGuire" - ("You complete me.") sounds all gooey and nice but it is the greatest lie in the world! It's the reason we have a 52%+ divorce rate.
No one can complete another person. YOU MUST COMPLETE YOURSELF!

ozncj

Yes he can change...boot camp will make a man out of him. He also should have support while in boot camp. He will have a career and goals when he comes home so I say support him. He may have left you with no money now, but once he is out of boot camp he will have income and the military has lots of perks too. I am from a military family. You have to stick together. If you really care about him then write him a letter explaining why you were angry, but that you want to try to mend broken promises and start fresh. Tell him what goals you are working toward while he is away and ask him how he is. Write often to each other while apart. That way when you do see each other again it will be so wonderful. Good luck to you both.

Anonymous

Basic training certainly has the potential to change someone. I suggest you wait till he graduates and see where things stand.

Paul&Fran

relationship wasn't the best...controlling on both sides lots of yelling. I feel so good that he is gone.

Take this statement and read it. Over and over again until it sinks in then you will have your answer.. This is his personality he is who he is. If you two are not getting along now don't expect things to get better in the future.

Josh T

Sometimes those three months away... and with almost no one to talk to, gives you time to think. It helps you put things in perspective and realize what is important so it is possible that things will be better. Don't let the frustration with him lead you to do something you might later regret, just give it some time and see how things turn out. If he has not changed... then you will at least have given it the opportunity.

smilewaitsyou

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Phillip

Marine Core Boot Camp changes a man. I am a Marine, getting out soon though due to injuries incurred. Yeah you should believe him, also partying as a married woman is okay, but only if it is tasteful you know what i mean. You both might be too young, but there is no point i n getting divorced just to remarry the same person two years later after you have both grown up.
You should seek out he love dare, see what happens.

SinZombie

Feelings change and you can't always trust them. The relationship can change. People can change. Communication is key. It sounds like you are both young, and it might not be his intention to leave you with no money. I can't tell you whether to believe him or not. You are in the best position to make that call, and you will have to live with the consequences. But don't make it lightly. If you don't respond, he will probably assume the worst.

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