I am custodial parent with joint, legal custody of two kids,?

I never married their Dad, he wants to take them on a vacation out of state, he did this last year and did not go (I found out at the very last minute) but his wife and her family did. My children were very upset and did not want to go. I begrudgingly let them go. I got phone calls daily from the kids crying and upset that they missed me and were being treated mean by the step mother. I am now in the same position this year, he feels that since I allowed it last year why not this year too? Our stipulation does not have anything about out of state vacations. I cant afford a lawyer as he is so behind on his child support I am limited fund wise. What grounds do I have to stand on? Please do not critize me, I have a close relationship with my kids and they are so unhappy with the current wife life situation, its unfair that they do not have a say in how they spend their vacation, which the want to spend with their DAD.
Additional Details
I dont believe in forcing a child, or hitting them or belittling them, which is what she does. She does not know them or appreciates them, only when daddy is around.

sunshine97

If there is nothing in your custody paper work that spells out out of state visitation then you are under no obligation to send them. As far as the current wife situation as hard as it is on your children they need to understand that dad does have a wife now and they can't change that no matter how much they want too. Chances are good that they will not be spending time with just Dad on their vacations. Sharing a parent with someone that they don't like is very difficult but it's beyond their control and no matter how much you want to protect them from that you can't. He does have a right to see his children and that will most likely include his wife however you do not have to agree to let them leave the state with the children.

Lela A

you file in court by pro se' motion which you represent yourself..you can address whatever issues you need to with your children's travel arrangements..

its likely i will say douche bag

you cant stop him, he can take the kids where ever he wants, just like you can. You don't have to allow it, he is entitled to take them on vacation!

As long as he has them back at the appointed time you cant stop him.

just let him be there dad, he will make mistakes just like yo will make mistakes.

get used to step Mon, she isn't going any where.

children will say what they think YOU want to hear, they want to please you when they are with you and they want to please him when they are with him.

my children love my wife, they fall asleep in her arms and when they are sick they run to her. If you listen to my x, you would think that the kids hate her. They just want everyone to get along.

ouragon

From a legal point of view, if he isn't there, I don't believe you can be obliged to send them out of state with her. She has no custody or visitation rights, he does. Wait until she leaves, then let him have all the visitation he wants.

It's sad that she wants to spend time with them and they don't like her. It's hard to believe that you aren't a part of that. Please examine your conscience. Don't make the children dislike someone who loves them.

Grow Up!!!

No criticism, but honestly if the SM is not truly being harmful to your children then maybe you need to let it run it's course. Try to understand that your kids one day may not like who you are with right off the bat either--do you want them to stop seeing you because of it? Do they dislike their SM because their dad makes them obey her?? If your stipulation says nothing about out of state vacations--then remember that applies to you too. Your statement doesn't show much support for the SM--and that is completely your thing and you can do as you wish--just don't let your own hostilities bleed out to your kids.

Doodlestuff

I would contact the stepmother and talk to her. Ask her 'what can *I* do to make a more pleasant visit'? Don't assume that the stepmother is being mean to them, but that they just are unhappy that they don't have their dad alone. The stepmother isn't going away and it's your job to help this relationship work better, if for no other reason, for the sake of your kids.

Eros

Let them stay home.

Jess

AHHH, Contrary, your kids do have a say. If they do not want to go on vacation with him then they do not have to. Let him take you to court, then the kids will tell the consular the reasons they have for not wanting to go. Any judge would appreciate that!

My ex's girlfriend was mean to my little girl by calling her names and bad mouthing me in front of her. She also blamed her for things that her son did. I learned my lesion on listening to my children when they told me someone was abusing them. Don't listen to the criticism from others that haven't been in your shoes. If you ex's wife is mistreating your kids, don't stand for it. your their mother, your supposed to protect them. God gave us instincts for a reason, follow yours.

frawlicious

I think that they should have a say. I would let him know that the kids did not have a good time last year and that they have something else planned forthe summer. I don't see how he could protest when he is behind in payments. If he has a problem with he, he can contact a lawyer which would only result in him having to pay up. I would not send them back for anyone to chastise or make them have a horrible summer. Good Luck to you.

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