I am engaged, but do not want to marry....this person, what to do?

1. Obviously, you need to tell him how you feel.
2. Since he's obviously using the same address as you are, you may have to go through some type of eviction process. That can get really ugly if he's the immature, controlling type who will immediately feel abandoned or threatened by being asked to leave.

Brace yourself. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but still not as bad as if you went through with the marriage plans!

iren c

why did you have a kid with him then?
you don't borrow money from someone you're going to marry

mel

You have to be honest with him,its all you can do,talk to him and if you really can't work it out you have to end it.

bigpumpdaddy

exactly what someone else said......It will be a hassle but a well worth hassle....You will feel so relieved after you break up....A huge weight lifted and you can go foreward with your life.....

Emily S

why did you get engaged in the 1st place? only reason i can think of is because of the kid. i would def say dont get married. doesnt really sound like he would understand if you explained it all like you just did so idk. good luck

bandaid_46

This is sad, not just because you have been living with this man for 7 years, but you also have a child. Now you don't think he measures up to be a husband.

You get out of it by telling him what you have told us, and yes, you will hurt him. You will also be hurting your child. OR you can make an effort to work things out and make a home together for your child.

kelleyphillip65

Do not marry him. Follow your gut instinct. The best way to deal with it is to be honest with him. If the house is in your name, ask him to move out. Make agreements about co-parenting your child, but please do not marry him. If you think it will hurt him to break up with him, you have no idea what it will do to both of you to marry him when you don't want to.

Lauren S

okay now listen to me.. i want you to imagine yourself with this person even when your old.. okay you WILL NOT BE HAPPPY!!!!!!!! so do you want to live your life with regrets? im sure you dont so if you arent happy then you have to leave. i know that its going to be a hassle and really sad and hard but you have to get on with your life... you should tell him..i dont want to marry you and apologize and just say that your not the right one for me. .and he isnt the best enviorment for your daughter to be around because if he doesnt set good examples then you helpless daughter will follow... please leave and dont live unhappily. i hope that i helped.

Jery E

thats very quick of you to figure out he's a loser. after only 7 years and a baby. good job.

demonindesguise

go with your gut!

oogabooga37

You should dis-engage and tell him to move out!

flischer

I lived this myself. What I did was take a 3-week sorting myself out vacation. I came back and made the announcement with his brother nearby (for safety) and moved on. It was difficult. To be almost or sort of in love is a bummer. But when you find a person you know is right, you won't look back in anger. (Beautiful grand kids make me know I did the right thing.) I still think of him nostalgically sometimes, but without regret, only curiosity.

qwerty

You should just be honest and tell him - its much better for both of you, because things could get much worse if you go ahead with the marriage.
Good luck x

Courtney F

I would start with postponing the marriage some more. Then later you can totally cancel it. He will figure it out. I truly believe that the negatives aspects in a person get worse after the marriage (been there), so what you are talking about will only get worse. Just because you have been together for seven years, doesn't mean that it has to be a life sentence.

Pete Rock

Tell him what was done to me. Tell him you don't love him anymore and that you are over him. Tell him that anything he does will not fix the way you feel anymore. That you want to move on and be by yourself for a bit. Just reassure him that there isn't another man because that's when we get crazy.

Shannon

I don't think you should give up yet.
He's untrusting because you have a bizarre relationship.
You're the bread winner? He's insecure.
You're not married, yet you're raising a child together.
As a married couple, he should be able to contact you whenever he needs to. As bf/gf that can be annoying.

Who cares about his family - is HE willing to get ahead and earn your respect?
You are correct that you are unlikely to happy with him the way he is now but many a women can make the boy to a man if they love him.

Why is he borrowing money for items for your household? (you're abusing him)
Or did he borrow money to buy his parent's stuff? (he's using you)

ceegrly

You have to listen to your mind and not your heart, because when we listen with our hearts we tend to ignore the signs that tell us things are not write. But your mind is more aware of what you need to do and what you want out of life. Do what you think is right, it doesn't mean you don't love him you just don't want a disaster to happen.

Spindrift

Call off the engagement and get his a$$ out of YOUR house ASAP, he is a bum and an abuser.

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