I am feeling better today....still no contact with his ex mistress...?

Daddy's Girl

You seem just as in love with his mistress as he is.

He won't stop thinking of her for awhile. It takes time especially if it was not HIS choice to end it. Chances are she changed her # so you won't have it. They still have email and work #'s.

You need to work on your self esteem & pride and what you can do to save your marriage OR if your marriage should be saved.

melizza

He will never forget her and neither will you. Deal with that.

Your marriage can survive and you can be happy again if you want.

Try being more fun. You sound like a drag.

Longbrownhair

You're comfortable with him thinking about her, and not about you and you're happy with living that way as long as he can't reach her? And what happens when the next mistress comes along?

You need to learn to respect yourself.

The African Queen

If he's that wrapped up in her, it will take him a long time. And during the time he's trying to forget about that, he will probably be more likely to find someone to replace her. So you may go through everything again with him.

shortbreadtin

Don't let him walk all over you. Stand up for yourself, lay down the law, and tell him it's you or her. Why do you feel you can't survive without a cheat? You're letting him treat you like a doormat and that makes me angry - not that he's treating you like one but that you let him. Where's your self esteem gone woman! You're better than this!

peking

Are you in couples' counseling? I would recommend it. You can't just expect all this to go away on its own. You will drive yourself mad.

its likely i will say douche bag

Ok, so I think your question today is
Anyway how long can he think about her if she has cut off all avenues to communication?

The longer he goes with out communication the more he will think of her and ways he can get in touch with her.

Brittany

Once a cheat always a cheat!!! That women will always be some where in the back of his mind and wondering why he's not with her. But No women deserves that.If he's not the man you thought you married then go there's no reason to hold on to someone whos not worth holding on to. Lifes to short"NO REGRETS". you need to find the strength some where in you!!!

honest girl!

The amount of times that you have posted the same question about this mistress is quite disturbing. It has gotten to the stage where you are completely obsessed by her, and I believe that you need to see your doctor or a therapist right away.

sashtou

I've no idea how long this relationship has been going on for and thus what level of intensity it may have reached, so it's difficult to answer.

However, i'm curious about how you see these things as in ~ < It's either "out of sight, out of mind" or "absence makes the heart grow fonder" < and > I am hoping this feeling would die down for him soon <

You are right, it could go either way, as in 'out of sight, out of mind', and 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' too ....and that it might just make him more obsessed with trying to breach the break.

What you are asking relates to a lot of questions that read, 'How do I forget him / her' ...and where the answer is always, 'It takes time'.

To attempt to 'forget someone' you have toi first remember what it is that you want to forget in the first place, and that is clearly nonsense. It's the same nonesense as trying to left yourself off he ground by pulling at your own shoelaces or, in a womans' case, her bra straps.

I cannot (yet) see what you are getting out of this situation ~ although I suspect you are getting 'something' (if only an education), and am wondering why it is that you have not found your self a Counsellor to help you through this. However, I suspect that you don't need one ~ because of whatever you are getting from this.

Again, I'm really curious as to just how you justify your own emotional responses to all of this ~ which I find, in a really curious way(!), quite fascinating.

Sash.

HMH13

I was a mistress from 1996-1998. He finished it but continued to remain in contact with me for the next 8 years. At that point he left his wife to live with me because the love between us was, and is so strong. I have many challenges, one of them being she refuses to divorce him at the moment but we are together and nothing can change that. Good Luck

Beckydee

I think you seriously need to reconsider your jealousy and the way his old mistress is making you feel.

This seems to be driving you insane with worry and it's not fair on you.

If you can't trust your husband then the most inportant part of your relationship is missing.

If i was you i wouldn't stay with him if i couldn't keep doubting myself and him.

This is obviously giving you a very low self esteem and probably making what you have left in your relationship suffer.

I know it is very easy for someone not in the situation to say, but i have been there and i have got through it. I left, and now my life is 100% better!!

Sasha's Mommy

My husband had an affair a few years back. We worked through it and are happily married today.

I will say that it took 3 or 4 months after the affair ended before I felt like he was really over her and had moved on. She still wanted to be with my husband (she was married as well), and she had believed that they would both leave their spouses and marry each other. In my situation, it wasn't easy to get her to leave him alone. Ultimately, he had to change his cell phone number.

I say all that so you will know that it is possible for a marriage to successfully survive infidelity and your man will eventually get over his mistress, although it might not happen as soon as you would like. Even if he is committed to making the marriage work, once you have become emotionally involved with someone, it takes time to completely let go. That's just human nature.

Keep your chin up and don't give up hope.

maxine m

my husband had a affair, well affairs and after years of thinking about
it and going over it in my mind, i too had an affair with an old boy
friend, i never meant to it just happened but i tasted the fantasy that
he did. the man i was seeing took me out for meals and we went back
to his place and he was such a good lover better than my husband.
i'm not saying that you should do the same, as i said i never meant to
have an affair but if your unhappy look for happiness yourself.
be happy your not here to suffer.oh i meant to say i still keep intouch
with that man.

The Trickster

If you want to survive in you marriage you will.

I think you both need to go away for a while no internet no phones just the two of you.

Please answer my question

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArOFOv8ufVIEhpAT9rvXEGQgBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090420062201AADwa4D

pixie

I Hate His/Her Ex is a book for anyone having difficulty coming to terms with their partner’s past relationships - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Download from Amazon or buy it on paperback!

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