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blueb030
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Take her to a counselor.. if you dont and she is having a really hard time with it, it can screw her up for life! |
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Ginger/Virginia
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Here are some websites with tips on this problem:
http://extension.missouri.edu/explore/hesguide/humanrel/gh6607.htm
http://extension.unh.edu/Family/Parent/helpcope.htm
http://www.mesalibrary.org/kids/reading_presch/divorce.asp
http://parenting.ivillage.com/mom/structure/0,,hvkj,00.html?par=msn%7Crel%7Cpp%7Chyper&iv_cobrandRef=msnwomen
I'd also try to get the grandparents, father and you sitting down with a mediator (minister? or lawyer) or a family counselor to get them to realize they are hurting the child to set her against you. |
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Lovinlife
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Having her talk to someone outside of the situation is a good start. If her father's family are feeding information to her that causes her to feel like she is also against you then you have to speak to the father immediately and ask for some basic respect. Let him know how this is affecting your daughter and let him know that you will do whatever it is that is best for her, even if that is limiting their time together. Some people have to be penalized before realizing how inconsiderate they are. He's her father and has a right to spend time with her, but he has no right to disrespect you in front of her, regardless of why your getting the divorce. |
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janvitos
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I've been through a divorce when i was 7. I believe it's normal for the kid to stick with one of the parent because they need some kind of answer to the divorce. They have to blame one or the other for it. I remember i felt very insecure and i stuck with my dad for a while. I believe the best thing to do for my mom was to comfort me and give me a great second home. It was also hard for me at first because she had a new man in her life and i didn't like him at all. Once i got in early teenage years, things changed and i moved in with my mom. I believe it's a question of time and never giving up on loving your children. Make them feel happy! |
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nicoles4fem
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sounds like she is confused and is most likely blameing herself, let her know you both love her very much and she still has both parents... they just dont live together anymore |
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Annette H
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I went throw about the some thing get some counseling for the both of you. |
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beerz24_7
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not alot you can do but try to explain it to her and be a friend to her, dont forget discipline, you cant let that slide because ya feel bad, it will just make it worse |
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♥BUD or BUD LIGHT♥
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just keep letting him or her know you both still love him or her very much. some kids just need reassurance |
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Sharon P
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Dont take it personal, she is confused upset and angry. Sit her down and calmly explain to her that You and Daddy still love her very much and that you will always be her mom, and explain to her in terms of a five year old why you two couldn't be together anymore....... You can also take her to counseling which will help her, not just in understanding the situation at hand but also help her deal with her frustrations in a healthy manner, instead of screaming I HATE YOU!! at you everytime you tick her off. I am sharing this with you from the point of your daughter, I went throught the same thing only at age 6. Also explain to her that you know she loves her daddy very much and you arent making him go away that she can see him whenever she wants, if it helps, hand her the phone EVERY NIGHT and let her call him. |
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boo boo
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when my parents divorced i was nine i blamed myself then i turned to blaming my mother my step mother helped me with that eventually my mom sat me down and explained to me why mommy and daddy didn't live together and that mommy and daddy both chose to live apart |
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goldcrestmotors@sbcglobal.net
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It doesnt matter what happened that has caused the divorce it is very important that your child remain in touch with both of you. A female child growing up without her father will have "male" issues when she is older. One only needs to look at our prison system to see so many little boys (who are adults on the outside)who didnt have a father and have deep unresolved issues. The female prison population is also expanding at an alarming rate. No matter whose at the core of the relationship disolving please push for a relationship to be maintained between father and daughter. She will go through a stage of "it's my fault that mommy and daddy arent together" that is nothing nice to handle as a parent. Because its not her fault but to a young mind our adult bs just doesnt make sense. And yes someone will end up being the whipping boy, in your case the "whipping girl" i will pray for you cause you are left with the unenviable task of being (it sounds like) the only adult in the equation. Ask yourself honestly: "is it my fault?" if the answer is no, then saddle up cause you're in for a rough ride. If the answer is yes, you're a self-centered blah, blah, blah then you also have some work to do. But somehow i think its the first one. The fact that the grandparents are encouraging this kind of behavior is unexcusable, no matter whose parents they are. They should be more mutual for the benefit of the grandchild if for no other reason. |
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Girl
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Sounds to me like you need to take control of your child. She should NEVER talk to you that way you are her Mother! Explain to her that in order for HER to be happy, Mom and Dad have to be happy too and being together does not make Mom and Dad happy so you had to separate. Remind her that she is NOT to disrespect you or talk back to you and if she continues to, she will be punished. I know you are trying to be extra kind to her during this hard time, but people do divorce, its life, you cannot let your child control your life. Good luck. |
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Nikki
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well u should start taking ur child to see ur x. maybe u should take her somewhere. well u need to forget them live your on life start taking more care of your child! |
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Papa
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Be a loving to her as you can... Don't play the it your fathers fault, always take the high road. And be good to your self. Don't bring new men around her unless you know they will be in her life forever. |
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boo
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i'm sorry for you, i went through a divorce when my youngest was 7. you just have to be patient with her, but at the same time she still needs the same dicipline she had before. |
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<3 TK!!! #11
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if there gonna tell her these things then she shouldnt be aroundthem. |
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materra/3
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i recommend peppermint tea. so soothing. and refreshing at the same time. |
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ONE
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Wish u n her more luck |
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green is clean
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You need to get through the divorce as quickly as possible. It doesn't matter what you lose...the longer you are in it...the more damage you will do to your children. Sign the papers, give up the money, stay away from the lawyers and finish it up fast! |
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♥o_wise1♥
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Should think before you act. No one ever thinks of the children, and what affect it could have on them. So mommy and daddy doesn't get along, screw the kids, they can be disfunctional.????? Irresponsible parents, and their irresponsible actions. GEESH..they wonder what is wrong with our youth today. |
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bonngirl4645
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try staying around her when she is with her father and grandparents, maybe bring along someone you can trust with you guys so that if an argument starts between you and her father/grandparents, the friend can pull her away so she doesn't witness it, because witnessing all of you fighting would just add to the problem. Also seeing a counselor is a very good idea, best would be for her to see one with both you and her father also. She needs to know that you both love her and will do what is best for her, and for her to be out of the divorce. Good Luck! |
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jthoms9800
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Pray to get the correct answer. Only the right one can come from Him!
Personal experience. |
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Lady Geo
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well first of stop the remarks talk 2 ur lawyer n let him know what ur ex and her grandparents r saying her will help u 2 get them 2 stop. secondly just give her time n love, n that should help.also when my children and I went through that I got a councelor 2 help us. |
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jeff402006
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Get her to a counsoler to help her....we did that with me son....and try talking to her alittle bit...and there is a book called the sand castle way get that and read it... |
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rickherr10
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unfortunately as long as they keep doing that to her she will continue to do it also she does not know what she is doing she is being used buy your husband and his parents |
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tnincy
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try your best to keep her out of it even if your ex and his parents are not. constantly reassure her that you love her and always will no matter how her behavior is. her behavior problems have everything to do with your relationship troubles. she doesn't understand and it is not helping that the people that are supposed to love her the most are pulling her in the middle.
keep your head high. one day that child will figure it out on her own. just don't stoop to the level of her father and grandparents.
speaking from experience, coming from a divorced family, my parents separated when i was 5 and didn't keep us out of the middle and fed our heads will all sorts of crap and now as an adult i remember all the things that shouldn't have been shared with children during a divorce.
hang in there and love your child no matter what other people are filling her head with. you will rise above it. |
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Tones
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Be there for her, talk to her about it. Accept that she is asking and mourning. Give her a clear set of rules to act inside. Never talk negative about her father. |
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DJ Fizzy xx
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Re assure her that your break up has nothing to do with her, that it wasnt her fault and they it doesnt mean you don't love her... just give her lots of support and attention. |
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bahams princess
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Well tell your daugther that her dady went to the store |
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ogochukwu egbo
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i was separated in a relationship that has last up to 5 years now. what will i do fine my self, my friend sleep with a woman face to face. i dont know what to do now ever since that time till now, no phone call, i decided to move to lagos and stay because i am having heart problem, all do he my first experience |
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