I am in a marriage with a very mentaly abusive alcoholic husband?

king kong

Get a divorce. Seek Legal Aid . Get an injunction to stop him from coming near you.

heathernbrad

Go to google and ask for jobs. (Such as monser dot com.) U have to start with a crappy job to work up to it. Start with a fast food place or gas station. Make sure if you get an interview you smile make eye contact and be confident. Don't be scared you can do it. I t will be hard for awhile but you will make it. Maybe ask your church for help if you have one, or family.
Good luck.

the_memory_of_ashes

Time to toughen up and regain your life. You are not alone. A lot of women have walked your shoes and they turned out okay. If you can search the internet, you can find a job easily. Try signing up for a nearby agency to get a secretarial or data entry job. Those jobs pay okay. Also, try to seek help from family and friends. Search the net and see what kinds of support groups are in your area.

iwantsomeonetoeatcheeesewith

u must find a way, deep in your heart to leave this man.
he loves himself more than he loves u or the kids.
it is tough out there and there are no straight answers.
but u will find a way, within yourself to get out and make it.
u must fight. dont ever give up.
find the nearest community center, or church or support group for abused wives and children. u can do it, and u can do it alone, but the extra help is always needed for the initial push.

aiden0127

just be careful I would say get out while you can I'm pretty sure there help out there forsure, just keep on trying to find them out . do it for your kids please .I just hate guys like him wish I could help take care and be safe.

KnowhereMan

Pray to God to open his eyes and ears as to how he's treating you and the kids. He still works miracles... Ask for some help from church. If you don't have one, NOW'S the time to find one...! Love him in spite of the way he treats you. Overcome evil with good.

Remember your marriage vows: "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health..."

~*bunny*~

i think u should try ur hardest to get out of there ur kids could get hurt from him jus think about that while u r trying to get out and u should beable to jus fine

LaQuisha P

Not trying to sound blunt, but my best friend just discussed her leaving her husband, BUT, there's always a but or excuse, and excuses are like ***holes everybody's got one. Look if you really love your kids like I know you do, GOD will make a way, and if you're still confused turn to Him for guidance.

John B

Most all communities have social services of some kind. You should be able to find them in your phone book. Talking to them will help you know what your options are.

Do you go to church? If so your pastor can help put you in touch with agency's that will help. There are ways out but you need help to find them.

Try the church and or the phone book.

I know you can do this just have confidence that regardless of what he says you are a very valuable person. You have to take care of those kids so you have to be.

While you are working this out just ignore everything he says.
If you find a way what he says will no longer have the hold he does now and you can get out.

I know you can do this now you have to know it.

Shikibeeks

Where theres a will theres a way.

stacylee1115

well you could try and see if your parents or a good friend could help you untill you get on your feet...and if your husband is abusive you should leave as soon as possible for your childrens sake....they should grow up around that...even if he is there father...they dont deserve that

TruthIsRelative

Look to your family

koolnsweett

go back to the housing authority and tell them that he beats you and you are afraid for your kids try the cops as well and they will find a safe place you the three of you

Alex

Move in with me, you cook and clean and I will pay for every thing.

Twiggy

Well I'm sorry honey but your not number one here I'm afraid that's your girls if hes mentally abusive to you hes got to be doing that same thing to your girls I'm sorry but you dint want that for your girls or yourself that's forsure so you HAVE to get up that nerve and get them and yourself out of that mess.........trust me I know its scary as hell and very hard to do but trust me it will ALL work out in the end ............I mean its got to be better then what your going threw right now .......right!

You have family and friends thats seeing all that you see.they will be there to back you up also.....there's alot out there so dont sell yourself short.......YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!!!!!

KAREN A

is there a shelter for abused women in your area? they can help you.

call a church and ask for help.

could you possibly move home with your parents until you get on your feet?

would it be possible to make him leave so you and the girls don't have to upset your lives?

i feel so bad for you i wish i could help you.

as far as giving your girls a good life you are taking the first steps right now. keep being their mother don't let him ruin their lives.

there has to be some way to get you and the girls out of there.
do you have anyone in your family that you can turn to?

maybe you could call the sheriffs office and ask them where they direct the women that they help.

you keep your thought good and don't give up please.

i will pray for you and i wish you the best.

the sad part is that i will keep thinking about you and worrying about the girls and i won't be able to keep up with you.

god bless you.

lillady

My mom was with my dad for 10 year sand out up with this ****. You don't need him, and really your daughters don't need to be around a father like that. They may hate you for leaving him but you need to get out. Go back home if you have too. My mother went back to her parents house with me and my lil' sister when she left my father and got back on her feet. Do whatever you can for you and those babies, because if not he is not only gonna be mentally abusive, it will turn physical. Good Luck to you and keep yourself and your girls safe.

ooooo

First of all, you must get out. Find a trustworthy friend and plan your "escape." Go to a friend's that he doesn't know, or to a women's shelter, anywhere he has the least chance of finding you, anywhere at all, just go. Your children will truly suffer if you stay in a situation with mental and/or emotional abuse. Check out both the Tears and Healing group and the WTO (Welcome to Oz) group, both on Yahoo. They may not be exactly what you need, but will have other resouces. Read "Stop Walking on Eggshells." You will be able to survive. All states have programs in place to help support single mothers and their children. Courts will most likely allow you to receive spousal support in addition to child support. Check it out, ask around, do internet searches. There is help out there. It would also be very wise to find a therapist who deals with victims of this type of abuse. I wish you the best of luck, and I truly hope that you will act quickly.

mks 7-15-02

If You Are Still With Him Because Of Your Kids Do You Think That Is Right.

TMAC

I was that husband 14 yrs ago. I am in recovery now and haven't drank if that much time. My new wife is also in recovery. I still thank the wife that left me 14 yrs ago for making me get my head together. It took all that pain for me to get together. You can too. She did. You can write me if you wish I have been helping people get sober now for many years. It is your right to feel good about yourself. You cannot do this if you stay in this situation.

Lilmisssassy

eave if not for u for thoose girls thye dont deserve to hear and see this crap...theres help for single moms you wont have to worry talk to the locaol Familiy services dept

First off I am a recovering alky of over 20 years so I know what I am talking about. Second and I don't mean to offend but what I just read was nothing but excuses! Take action if he is abusive and drinking he is dangerous! You need out NOW! There are groups that WILL help you if you look. Listen I have talked to many people like you you want things fixed they wont! If you want things fixed that wont happen least not by you! This isn't your fault but it is your problem! If your any kind of Mother you will get yourself and your children out! If your worried get Police to be there when you leave. Tell your husband he needs help and you cant help him. If he gets help then maybe theres a chance for your family if not then get out before someone dies!!

please remove me from here

get out of there. for every abuser there is an enabler. you probably make excuses for him.

Reality check -- do you want your daughters to pick husbands like their Father? They will -- you are their female role model.

Step one - find a hot line, call get a list of resources. In NJ where I live there are plenty of places that provide shelter to women and children in these situations.
Step two - let the machinery take over, You are trying to find to many solutions at once (so you end up feeling overwhelmed).These shelters will help you rebuild your life and provide your daughters with a good role model. It won't happen overnight.

Whatever you do don't go back to him; he'll make you tell where you were.
Next time he hits you call the police so they have a record of the abuse and he won't be able to seek custody. Sign a complaint against him for terroristic threats.

Get together some things you will need for yourself and the kids. Pack a bag and keep it in a secret hiding place.
When it's time to go. You just go.

Put your lives in the hands of people who want to help you not in the hands of one who wants to abuse and control you.

cutiepie81289

they have shelter's for abused women they will help you find a job, daycare,apartment, you can also get welfare, food stamps, anything to help you out so you can get on your own two feet.

starlighto3

Keep fifty bucks out of the shopping money every week and get your friends to cover a meat supply, save up an get the hell out girl!

butterflyfrills

I hope you have family that you can talk to, i feel so sad about this. I once too was in abusive relationship once. I didn't want to leave him he made me because he found someone else that was weaker than me. She now is dead he killed her. I don't care how you get away from him, but somehow you have to for you and your children. I will pray for you, but it won't do you any good unless you try to find a place where you can go. look for some women shelters. If you need just talk butterflyfrills@yahoo is my mail. God bless you

Cola

Family. Don't be afraid to aks for help.

Little Wifey

I work in the domestic violence feild at a womens shelter. Here is what I recommend. You need to find a crisis line in your area and call them and find out where the nearest shelter is. Once you are in a safe place there are advocates available to you to help you get on your feet and find housing, apply for assistance etc. Some states even pay for you to go to school to learn some skills if you dont have any. If you hava any trouble please email me and I will help you find services in your area. This is what I do so dont be scared, you can do this girl!

lightandshadow73@yahoo.com

Take care...and God Bless.

you need a job you are teaching your kids that this is excepted get out if you love your kids they should not have to live like this

simeonxavia22

I don't know what state you live in but if you truly want to leave him then you can go to a shelter for abused women and let them help you get on your feet. They will help you faster to get the public housing. I know most jobs won't help you because of the lack of experience but please don't give up try all the resources in your city. If you want to talk email or im me on yahoo messenger. I understand what you are going through and you shouldn't stay there any longer than you have to, because your girls don't need that. I grew up with an abusive father, he hit my mother all the time and he shot her. So keep your head focused on getting away.

Vandana

My sister’s husband is having mental problem and this thing his relatives hid from us. We came to know 4 years after their marriage through the Doctors. Doctor told us that this problem is from his childhood. Now his relatives are not accepting this thing. After marriage, my sister’s laws were harassing her. So we gave her and husband our mother’s house to live. Her husband does not work regularly. He has left the so many jobs on his own. Wherever he joins he works only for 8 or 15 days and leave the job and most of the time he does not work. Even he does not let his wife to go for work. If she tries to work anywhere, he goes there and behave abnormally and because of him she has to lose the job. So many times we tried to talk relatives of my sister’s husband and asked them to take him away from us. But they are not ready to take him blaming that my sister is responsible for all these things. That man is neither working nor my sister is able to work anywhere because of his behaviour. If we tell him to go from our house, he is not ready to go from our monther's house. He is only sitting idle at house. They have 8 year’s son. What we can do to escape from him. Please help us in this matter.

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