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I am in love with a married woman how can i tell her that?
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I am in love with a married woman how can i tell her that?

A good family friend and I have been flirting with each other for about a year now. We are both married but I have fallen in love with her but I can not tell her for fear of our spouses finding out. I think she feels the same way and is also not sure how to continue, what should I do?


    




Slider728
Rating
What should you do? Absolutely nothing.

Take up a hobby, avoid the woman, work on your own marriage, take a cold shower, or whatever you can think of.

No one is going to be able to tell you what you do. Whether you want to admit it or not, I am sure you know what you are going to do. My guess is you are on here for reaffirmation of your plan.

Every person who falls in love with a married person thinks their situation is different. Look at your friends and family. Ask them how they met. How many people have you heard say that they met as the result of an adulterous affair and are now married and completely happy? I have yet to hear that once.

Getting involved with a married person is a no win situation. They aren't going to leave their spouse for you. The fact you are married is only asking for 4 times the trouble.

The best thing you can expect is to have a great physical relationship for awhile with this person, your wife finds out, and you get raked over the coals in the divorse. The worst thing that can happen is the woman's husband or your wife goes nuts and puts you down for the dirt nap.

Do yourself a favor. Let it go.


Pythagoras
Rating
Bail out before you do some serious harm to your marriage and hers.

Assuming that she feels the same way, I think that statistically, 1% of these type of relationships (2 married people bail out of their previous marriage for each other.) end up working.

Are you willing to throw away everything you have for a 1% chance?

Take a cold shower and move on.


sympathy4theDEVIL
i hope the married woman is your wife!!! if not...watch out for the bullets


Go Bears!
Rating
What about your wife? I think you need to stop with the crush and focus on your marriage.


JoJo C
You better keep it to yourself, you're talking about wrecking 2 families. Don't be selfish.


Hot Lips 4077
i think you say something like this to her: I respect nobody and no vows you OR i have made, i only care about making myself feel better. right NOW i think YOU will make me feel good, but in a few years i might walk out on you so don't get to comfy. how about we ruin not just our lives within the next few years, but also our spouses and who knows who else? just for sh*ts and giggles? wanna?


Brightside
You guys were meant for each other....just go right ahead and distroy 2 familys, not including the extended familys. You sluuut.


smarge78
tell your wife, tell her husband, tell her and then live miserably with each other forever...good luck with that Chief.


nite_angelica
You should consider what a b*tch karma can be and let this go.


hotpepper
Rating
You don't tell a married woman you love her, unless she's married to you!!!!! Are you out of your freakingmind ??????So you've been flirting, a far cry from cheating- but if you cross that line- you destroy two families.

Grow up and start flirting with your wife again, she deserves some attention being married to a heel like you.


YOG
think of ur wife. if u really love u r wife then just ignore her.


Holly W
Rating
You made a commitment to your wife and family as did she. Don't tell her, keep it the way it is. It's fun now but could become awkward. Let it be.


irishlass
If you "love" this woman why do you care if your spouse finds out? You should put all of this effort into the person that you promised to love your whole life. I am sure if you tried you could fix this situation. You are only thinking of yourself. All married people get confused and need to recheck themselves from time to time. Call your wife right now and tell her you love her and you feel lonely and weak in your relationship. Tell her you really want to spice things up to change these feelings. Tell her you don't want to be unfaitfull and what are her ideas to help you. Every marriage goes through phases of inattentiveness. Stick with your wife.


DouglasD
Rating
Dude, RUN fast and far.

Tell your wife you need to cut this friendship out and tell her why. You'll end up with a wife who trusts you and loves you even more than she does now. You'll also be saving the marriage of this other woman. If you care for her, this is doing her a huge favour.

If you pursue this thing and she's not interested, you've still damaged your own marriage. Women aren't that stupid, your wife will figure out somethings up.

If you pursue this thing and she IS interested, you'll hurt her marriage, your marriage and for what? No one will ever consider you trustworthy after that. Not your family, not your wife, not your friends, not your boss. No One. Women aren't that stupid, your wife will figure out somethings up.

For a good rundown on the consequences, read this link:
http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/walker-clay/then-what-9591.html

It's dead on accurate. I've seen too many friends walk that path and get burned. None of them have walked away unhurt in the long run. Not one.


charmed
You don't tell her. You're both married so don't complicate things, and stop flirting with her because in your case, it isn't considered harmless nor innocent. If she were single, I could see it. Let it go and focus on the one you're with


simpleminded
You need to know how she feels too so you will need to make the first step in finding out.

If she feels the same, then go from there as to if she is willing to divorce her entire life to be with you..

Get-togethers/ marriages that come from ' affairs' very rarely end in happy marriages. There's only a 5 % chance that a new marriage would work.

but best of luck


867-5309 "Jenny"
Rating
It's not love or you wouldn't be worried about your spouses finding out..


Monica O
Rating
You should just stop this right now. Really, why are you married and falling in love with other people? And what is wrong with HER that she is flirting with a married guy behind her husband's back?


secrets
Rating
Um i think u should start praying fast & not speak a word of this!!!!!!! This is nothing but TROUBLE


Judge Judy is Back!
Rating
Stop all contact with her. Don't tell her you love her and definitely STOP flirting with her. Why don't you picture your wife cheating on you, how does that feel? Don't become an adulterer, there will be so much misery on everyone's part.


Valerie X- ooops!
Rating
I had a Chicken Salad sandwich for lunch.


Kyle W
More information needed -- but how could you "love" someone you haven't dated yet?


cindra
Stop flirting and start acting like a real man who knows how to keep his promises. On the day you married your wife, you got up in front of God and everyone and promised to love her, honor her and care for her, for life. Is flirting with this person (and I use the term loosly), fulfilling any promises?


HM
Rating
You don't tell a married woman that you love her and secondly you should keep away from her unless you want to destroy both your marriages.
It could turn out be an ugly situation if you continue flirtation, especially if either of you have children.


Yvette D
I think you should leave it alone...You might be misreading her feelings and assuming she feels the same way as you...Is she really worth ruining your marriage or disrupting hers over something that might not be?? I can see how the attraction part is there and flirting with one another will only feed into you wanting to confront her...Sometimes the price is too high to bargain with...Think before you react....You might just lose her as a good friend too....


superlawyerwoman
Rating
I think you should take some time to think about the possible consequences of the action you are about to take. Are there kids involved? Sure passion is great and so is getting caught up in the moment. But before you pursue another relationship, you two should at least end your current ones and then see where it goes from there.


cutieliciouslulu
remember the 4 better for worse i do?


princess_sahara2003
Rating
If i were you I'd let it go,your married and so is she think about it before you make a big mistake,Because there are other people involved and someones going to end up getting hurt.


Who Else
Well first if you are not 100% sure that she feels the same way then you should slow down. By the looks of it, it just seems as if you are in love with her. Are you sure its love and not lust or infatuation of some kind. You both are married and have been for sometime, I would assume. Think about it before you go with 20% and you already had 80%.


voilastation.com
Rating
You are going to bring more problems in between the two marriages. You need to way the ups and downs. Are you serious about her? If you guys separate from your spouses, what kind of relationship are you going to have?





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