I am married... 7 years now.... and I have the 'itch'.... what have you all done to get over the itch?

Blackbeard

Your problem is that you still love your husband, but you are do not have that strong attraction to him anymore.
Have you discussed your feeling to your husband. Give him suggestions on activities and things that he could do and the both of you can do bring the attractiveness and excitement back into the relationship.
You both have changed in the past seven years, and he probably is feeling the same way you are, but is afraid to mention it to you, so not to hurt your feelings and stir up and argument. You both work long hours and come home and do the same thing. You life has become monotonous, doing the same thing day after day. You guys need to shake up the routine, and maybe go out on dates again alone with each other or go on vacation together.
If that doesn't work, then a little time apart to miss each other may work..(i'm not talking about breaking up) but a vacation away from each other. As they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

You better do something because in the right place, right time and the right person is around you will be more tempted to do something that you may regret. Hopefully, I helped.

elisha08223

everybody has flaws. The downside to marriage is that, sharing a lifestyle, you get to know all of the other person's. Some things you just can't stand, but eventually they pale when you realize that, without the flaws, he wouldn't be as great as he is. If you really don't like the foot thing, try caressing his feet with yours when he starts rubbing away.

Talon

Bring a third person into your bedroom. It will spice things up and bring you closer together as you do this taboo thing for each other.

Peace and Love

sounds like you guys need some nice relaxing time for you. plan a romantic night out or a long weekend vacation - if possible. you obviously love the man and he obviously loves you. sometimes you just get so absorbed in your day to day life you forget exactly how much you love him.

Skeezix

Tough question. I refuse to answer on the grounds it might get me into trouble. Just don't act on it. Talk to your foot rubbing husband.......take ONE night out for a nice romantic dinner (get a sitter). If that doesn't help - get counseling.

Dancincutie

what do you mean by the itch?

I luv my kids

Scratch it and move on

adkfoaiefnafedw

Try counseling and prayer

Dave S

What did you guys do while you dated? Send fun emails? Go for walks? Try doing those things that brought you together in the first place.

wow1

scratch the itch with YOUR HUSBAND.....remember why you feel in love with him.

Nicki

You have the seven year itch and you'll start noticing things that he does to irritate you that probably didn't pay any attention to before. You seem to love your husband and want to make a go of your marriage , so just try sitting somewhere you want notice all theses annoying habits as much. Your marriage is very important to you and you 4 yr. old and really seems like you maybe just tired because you work and things start to get on your nerves more than before. Just stick with it and it may pass, just try getting a sitter for the weekend and go do things that both of you enjoy ,stay the week end , just try to work on your marriage because of your little girl. Go out on Dinner Dates with your husband , do things that you have been wanting to do , and just try to make ago of what you have and enjoy your husband. Everyone after a period of time see things that irritate them about their lover, that haven't really paid any attention to in the past, its normal.

champagne

it happens to us all,my hubbie slurps his tea.snores,sleeps with his mouth open,leaves the toilet seat up after flushing,leaves me to make the bed.

Joshua B

Cut back on the long hours at work. I know it sounds strange in today's day and age, but it'll help. Plan a weekend away together. Get a sitter, and just go. Even if it's to a motel across town, you need some "you" time ("you" as a couple, that is). I wish you all the best. I really do. It's so hard in today's culture to keep the fire burning, but if you can do it, you'll come out ahead.

Also, talk out your feelings. Don't say, Don't do x or y! Say, it hurts me when you do x. or I feel let down when you say y. Always put it into the way it feels, not just blaming him, or nagging him to change the behavior.

anotherbsdparent

Constantly demanding the romance that is a passing phase in relationships, that evolved to get you together in the first place and have babies, is one way of messing up your relationship.

The fact is that after 7 years, you should be well aware of your partner and romance isn't a part of it. Partnership is what replaces romance. They are quite different things.

Get more active in the bedroom. Do fun stuff together. Try things together you haven't dared to before. Don't go looking for irritants and trying to change them. Accept each other for what you are.

Deep Thought

Figure out how to get "Mom and Dad time" again. Work and kids take up a lot of time and in this case, passion. Whether you rely on baby sitters, grandparents or other parents get that time back as soon as possible. Then, make sure that during that time, you do things that you both enjoy together again. Getting that spark back is not hard but like anything else in life, takes work to make it happen.

lovely

you should try to set time aside for one another. make sure you find time in both your schedules. sometimes you'll have to make sacrafices when it comes to saving your marriage. don't work too much. you know when it gets out of hand. take a weekend trip together without the kids. leave them with your parents. you & your husband should do something just for the two of you. maybe something you haven't done since you had your 4 year old.

good luck & i hope you get that excitement back.

puffdigi

Start thinking about the things you love about your husband...concentrate on his good qualities and why you married him.

Stop thinking so negatively about him....

next time his feet rubbing sessions start...grab a foot and massage it for him.

~Mother Of Angels~

Well for one thing in terms of the feet rubbing while he watches tv, that is trivial. I'm sure there are things you do that he isn't estatic about. You have to pick and choose your battles.

When you have time consuming jobs and children is does make it harder to find time. You have to compromise and do things together even if you aren't estatic about it. That's what you do when you love someone. Look at it this way, imagine if you lost him...wouldn't you miss the little things then?

RN2B

I know it gets especially hard when there are children, but don't make this mistake! Take time out for alone time with your husband. maybe a weekly date night. Also, start touching his neck when you walk past him or giving him a hug when you see him, give him a neck rub every now and then, why not rub his feet when he starts rubbing them together. It will be hard at first to get back into the motions of doing this, but it will work to get him more in tune to you and then he'll start reciprocating. Just try to remember how it was in the beginning, it doesn't have to change because you have a child. It only takes a second to give him a smooch. It's so easy to get into a routine of coming home from work and cooking and cleaning and you forget to make a little time for each other.

willplayrequests

Too bad your "itch" isn't the same as your husbands. (rubbing his feet together) When is the last time you took him out to dinner? been the aggressor at love making? bought him flowers/card? stayed in a hotel? went out to dinner and sat outside with a glass of wine/ went slow dancing? talked? went skinny dipping? held hands? rubbed his feet (so he doesn't)?, went for a walk with your 4 yr old and him, went on a date? etc? Get out of the ROUTINE!

Yes, I have a 5 year old but the most important thing you can do for your family is make an effort. A BIG effort. My son asks me why Mommy and I aren't together. I don't want to tell him it because Mommy didn't try but that's pretty much the case. I'm curious what she says when he asks her. I know I wouldn't want my answer to be.... "I left your father and our family because he rubbed his feet together"
Counseling may help, especially for you.

ps - I didn't mean to sound as if you should do all of the trying but from what you've described you're the only one with the problem. And if you do those things I will guarantee you'll get back more than you put in.

FAT DOG

Wear a disguise. Try POGO stick nude.

keith b

It's time to have a heart to heart. Us men don't see things the way you women do so you have to let him know that it's time to spice things up. Even if it's just taking time on one weekend a month to do something romantic. Like a candle lit dinner, or even just going to a movie and holding hands, or going for a walk. Good luck

MissKaylaDisney

I think you should get a babysitter one night (most likely on a weekend) and stay in for a romantic dinner and discuss all the things that have been bothering you.

Also, if you have the means, take a spontaneous weekend vacation!

Hope this helps! :)

lmnop

What you describe isn't that unusual. Every marriage has these types of issues in it. But listen to yourself and then consider the big picture. You're thinking of possibly leaving him because he rubs his feet together? While annoying habits are certainly annoying, if I were you, I would simply ask him to not do that while you are around. Perhaps that is a fair compromise.

I believe pretty strongly that all kids deserve a parent of each gender living in his household. Dr. Laura put it best years ago when she discussed the "three A's" - "Abuse, Addiction, and Adultery," as being grounds for divorce. Personally, I would add one more - being immature and irresponsible with money, thereby saddling a spouse with a "living paycheck to paycheck" lifestyle. I don't think God wishes financial stress on any of us.

If necessary, talk to a pastor or marriage counselor. But what you describe isn't that unusual and is probably completely solvable.

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