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I am married and my husband doesn't want me to have friends even though he says he does.?
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I am married and my husband doesn't want me to have friends even though he says he does.?

I have been married for 14 yrs and I have seen that he only wants friends I don't know and I will never get to know. When I get a friend he manages to talk to them and I don't hear from them again.


    




Yinzer from Sixburgh
Rating
Sounds like he's hitting on your friends.


honeybuzz
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thats what happened to me ...Ithink every one needs friends


Sadbuttrue
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What's your question?


zen522
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Go out and find some friends


troys_wifey2003
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He is insecure and wants to keep you isolated. Been there it is not healthy or safe. Make some friends, join a group, volunteer etc.


cooldog
.he is very controlling .


Dilbert
Call your friends on the phone and ask them why they stopped calling you. Maybe they were waiting for you to call.


roknrolr63
Your husband is trying to control your life. This is a form of abuse, so don't let him get away with it. You are entitled to a life of your own, and I doubt you've done anything to make him distrustful of you. Join a club or take a class where you will meet people you might connect with. The same rules that apply to him apply to you. He does not own you. If he denies you this basic right of individuality, you are in a dangerous relationship and need to take an honest look at what can be done about it. You should be with a man that treats you as an equal partner, not as his personal maid and valet.


Stephanie A
Rating
OK,,, This happened to my mom. She was married to this guy who didnt want her to have friends or go out or ANYTHING. He was just jealouse of her, and scared she might leave him, and just...Stupid, she finally did divorce him, because, well he wasnt nice, and she realized she should have divorced him long ago. Im not saying you should divorce him, but talk about it with your husband, find out his reason and reasure him that you love him no matter what, if this continues and he doesnt listen i suggest therapy or something...for him.!!GOOD LUCK!!


Elvis
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Sounds dangerous to me!


Klaudia
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I would talk to you're husband about this because thats no way that he should act like this. I would not consider Divorce because this promblem should be solved by talking. You should tell him what you feel and if he says that he has a promblem with you're friends explain to him that you enjoy you're friends and if he has a promblem with them then he should just go to another room if you're friends are at you're house.Hope this Helped and remember talk to HIM!


godsgirl
well you need to talk to your husband if you've been married for 14 years hell understand that you need some friends to get out of the house with every now and then
if he really loves you then hell let you have some friends
if he doesn't then do you really think hes the best one for you?

Good luck


karenlm215
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Sounds like its a trust issue. Ask him if he would feel okay if you had friends that you never introduced to him and if he says that he doesn't feel comfortable with that then tell him that he's doing that to you and your feeling uncomfortable. If he really cares he should be caring and understanding with things that you are concerned about. Reassure him that you would never do anything that would hurt the marriage, all you want is to have friends and be able to hang out with friends whenever you get a chance.


?
Rating
my husband try's to do the same thing i've been married 13 years all it did for me is make me cheat hope your husband changes his ways before your led to a complicating choice.keep your friends he'll have to get used of it if he doesn't like it he can leave i bet he doeasn't leave


darkdiva
It looks like you are allowing yourself to be controlled. The thing is, if you're okay with his being in control of your life,stay. If you want to make your own decisions, you might have to leave.


isisisthe1
Your husband is a control freak. You are living in a very abusive situation. Look in your phone book for the names and numbers of counselors in your area...some are free. They will help you..


?
Sounds like he is pretty much trying to isolate you from the world. Why some people do this, I do not know. And, yes, there are ladies that do it as well.

This is a way of him having control over something, or someone. Many times, these people are very insecure for some reason. This is often considered a for of abuse, and can lead to other forms of abuse.

Counseling would be your best bet, and if he will not go, then leaving him may be the answer. It is never a good thing to be isolated from society. You should have your friends, he should have his, and you should have friends together.


ror
Hi 14 years that's long. I guess that if he only wants friends you don't know he must have his reason. i'm not suggesting that he might be hidding something from you because he might not!!!Maybe he doesn't want you to meet them because he is scared to lose you. But this might not be the actual answer to the why he doesn't want you to know them. Maybe you should try and ask him about this!! Just let him know how you feel. When you are married both parties should be open with each other i guess and should not feel threatened by the other party's opinion. You don't have to be scared or anything because if he does love you he will understand how you feel and will manage to do anything he can to make you happy and for that matter make it up to you. That's weird that when he talks to your friends that they don't wanna talk to you anymore. maybe you should do the first move and call them if you don't hear from them after they meet your husband. Well i suggest that you call them and i dunno maybe ask them why you don't hear from them. Well if your husband is hidding something from you, you'll find out. But that's only my opinion, i suggest that you don't jump to conclusions just yet cause you don't know what's on his mind, just wait for other answers and work out what's the best way to approach the situation. Communication is the key in every relationship so talk to him about your concerns and i'm sure it'll all work out alright. And a last thing, well when you talk to him don't make it sounds like it's all his fault that you don't have any friends. Just call your friends first then work out what you are going to do next. Just Remember that you don't need his permission to have friends, it's your right as a human being!!!!!!!!!and he should respect that if he really loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope that i've been able to help =D


Suzan
Rating
Can you say...'control freak'? This man is obviously very insecure and after 14 yrs of it, I doubt seriously that he will change. This change usually doesn't occur if it hasn't in all those years. Some men benefit from counselling, but if he's been doing this all these years, I doubt it will help. Good luck. You need friends and family. Do not let him dictate to you. Very unhealthy relationship. I can spot them...believe me! I've been in plenty of them.


Sue T
Rating
I was married to a man just like that for 12 years. Trust me when I say "GET OUT". This is not a healthy relationship. He is a master manipulator and this is just another one of his manipulation techniques. Get away from him and enjoy your life. You don't deserve to be treated like this. Start taking care of yourself.


covertsnake
Rating
devorce him


lana1meyer
I'm sorry to hear that. You need friends just as much as he does. Are your friends guy's or girl's?
As for him having friends that you'll never meet. That's wrong!!!
I hate to say it but your husband is controlling!! You both should have friends that you both know and can dothings with as couple's.
Good luck.


alyssa
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tell your husband how you feel, and if he still says no you should have friends anyway because it is your life and he shouldn't conrtol it.


Right Wing Extremist
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Well you have allowed this to happen for too long. He is a controller and will not change. I am sorry beeen there done that I divorced him


collard greens with hash browns
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That's not going to work. A marriage and a vacuum don't get along; you have to let it out to play to see what it's really made of. He's in love with some idea, some semblance of a relationship that isn't real. Go get some counseling and get to the root of what's really going on...


Nolo_8
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Be a good wife and listen to him. He knows best.


cristanine
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Sounds like you have a jelous Man and that means horror in paradise. Your in danger girl.
Guys like that can snap off the brink and cause harm to you. Get out of that relationship./


ronnny
Need to do something. You need friends also. Who are you going to turn to when you need something. Do you work? If not maybe you need to so that you can make and keep friends easier.





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