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G. M.
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File for divorce, in the U.S.A., just beeting you, you can have hime put in jail. He will not stop, so divorce him, it will be granted |
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Geo.man
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In many States if you call the police all they need to see is evidence of abuse and he will be arrested. Then you can call a safe house for wives who are abused. Call a help line or crisis line in your area. |
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Jereza
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See if there is a safe house for abused women somewhere around you. Maybe friends could let you stay with them. Maybe your parents will support you if they know what he is doing to you. Get out now even if it is a hardship because it will get worse if you stay |
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Mark
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Why is it we never listen to our parents untill it is too late.
Your life may seem messed up, but it is 'nt.
Get your divorce.
It will be the first step to getting your life back on track. |
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Carmen
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Get a divorce and file for annulment. Your last name will be restored. And try to make ammends with your family. |
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neji
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u can better speak to him in a calm atmosphere about the unfortunate happenings in ur life and let him know what u were expecting before marriage and remaind him of ur planning before mariage and most importantly ASK HIM WHAT HE IS EXPECTING FROM U...try to discuss this in a cool atmosphere. |
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cowboy
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If you live in America, you can go to a crsis center they will help you. |
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C M
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This is more of a comment than an answer. The difference between america and other countries. Most responses from countries other than america are the same. How can you tell a woman that is being abused to stay with him. Most missing or dead people are missing or dead by the hands of their spouses. Do not stay with him. Get a job and get out!! He has no right to abuse you in anyway, mentally or physically. Men are not better then woman and have no rights to abuse them |
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GS
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You took a hasty decision earlier by marrying someone whom your parents did not like. In my opinion you should have waited and bring about consensus for your marriage. That way you would have know him better i.e. through that troublesome time if he stands by you or not.
Anyway, that’s what now happened in the past and you must look forward to the future.
I think 4 months is still a small, very small time to exactly know a person (I am married for 10 years now and still both of us find something new about each other every now and then).
You should give it further time. Initially, it is always difficult to adjust for both the partners. However, as the time goes by, the relationship becomes stronger and you will tend to know what are his likings and what he dislikes, and the vice-versa.
Running away from the situation is not the solution, unless it is so bad that you can't live with it.
It is always said that it takes two to tango. Therefore, you must check your shortcomings as well, while at the same time discuss why he is upset or have changed since he married you.
Problem lies somewhere in between, so must find it and try to cure it.
Regarding your parents, first you took shelter in you man's arm, without thinking about others. Now as the going gets tough you again want shelter from others (your parents this time). When will you stand up and take control of the situations in your own hands? You have to do it if you want to be happy. Give it a serious thought.
Good luck! |
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deby k
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go to a womens shelter, or walk the streets, would be better than being beat up. |
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Rhonda
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Where do you live? If you are in the U.S. the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1 (800) 799-7233; website: http://www.ndvh.org/
There are shelters to give you safe haven, counseling, and programs to get you back on your feet.
Leave right away! Abuse only gets worse. You can file a Police Report even after the fact. The shelter will advise you how to get a restraining order against him. No one deserves to be abused. No one. Your family will understand in time. You will meet new friends and life will improve. Best wishes. |
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nija
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DIVORCE is not a right choice for you. i think in between you&yours have only an ECO problem.just a small advice for you.you got married for just four months only.nobody cannot understand within four months. you have your whole life.please adjust with your partner. first try to understand HIS EXPTATION.
try to read his mind .his neads.its very easy to get divorce, but its very very painful.so dont choose a divorce option. try to avoid ECO.your life is in your hand. try to change your partners angry.make a peaceful & happy life. GOODLUCK.. |
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New Kid
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Do what your heart tells you.Your parents will come around.( get out,no one should put hands on anyone ) |
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June H
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No stay there . MARRIAGE IS WHAT IT IS UNTIL DEATH !!! remember your wedding vows for better and for worse ......... so death do us apart . Don't be a coward & a quiter by getting a divorce like so many are today. Hey my husband is abruseful , I called the police on him and press charge against him . I set up boundries. You need to set boundries with your husband. My husband did not like it what I did , he went into an adultery relationship with my x - best friend 5 years ago. He filed for divorce. I do not believe in divorce because my wedding vows is seriously , meanful and honorable. A vow is a vow . God takes vows very seriously so we should do the same. God is NOT a God of compromise.Well the truth is people only see what they're prepared to see , and like they said , you reap what you sow. Remarry after divorce is adultery so you better not get anyone only when your husband dies than you can get remarry. Life is not consequences. Life is decisions. |
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mikea632
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well go its all you have to do stop acting so dam weak.thats what you women do you think your in love and want to get married and think that everything is okay.maybe you should of went to the guy who really liked you.... |
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tinker143
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You poor thing I wish I could give you advise on the divorce thing...I am not sure if ur in America because its easy here to file for divorce especially in California...really sad though...anyhow I am really sorry that he's that way to you. I know how you feel cuz I am in the same boat...all he does is yell at me and he is always demanding things from me...I know honey its hard but if you dont have kids get out now before you do and you can get a divorce even if you have to live on the streets for awhile then you'll be fine....you can survive women are a lot stronger than men want to believe I think that's why they beat us and demean us because they are afraid of us being better than them. |
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Light candles to show way
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You took marriage decision in haste - first mistake.
You want immediate decision for divorce just in 4 months - it will be second mistake.
You give yourself some more time for reconciling situation.
Please donot rush to advocates at first signals. They spoil families. Go to a marriage counsellor.Seek help from common friends. In most of the marriages, there are problems INITIALLY. It is because
(i) over-expectations by both
(ii) ego-clash
(iii) they used to live in imaginary world and now they are in real world with all its problems.
(iv) both are over-reacting
I donot blame but if affordable, please gain some time to sort out the issues through mediators. And during this period simultaneously make yourself financial strong - increase your abilities and become financially independent.
But if you feel that it is totally un-affordable, seek support from your parents. They must be angry over your decision but they are not against you basically. They always want your welfare. Have confidence in them.
Last but not least seek God's blessing by prayers. You require his guidance and support.
best of luck
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Kimberly T
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Any one can get a divorce, talk to your parents and see if you can move back home and pay them rent, if not ask your friends the same thing wish you luck |
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CEO
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If you must leave, then you have to before he kills you. Your parents will take you back, they'll remember the prodigal son...oops daughter. |
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Kenn
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Get out. Get a restraining order. File for divorce.
Your parents will come around. |
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santhosh
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Firstly i request you to speak to ur husband tell the problems ur facing as well have a deep discussion of the things happened before marriage clarify the things & put what your expecting from him aswell ask him what his he expecting from you too.Do not quarel as you may find it funny after some days.So, do not worry communicte with him again & try to rectify ur differences. |
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cvchick85
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see what happens when u don't listen to your parents |
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dulla99
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Hurry find a common friend or any social activist who knows u both,get patch up.U R really in mess state ,act possitively n approch him n see u r life gets joy ,happiness. |
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davecz4
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1- The fact that you recognize that you are in an abusive relationship is very important, and also your desire to get out of that situation. Many women don't recognize it or are too afraid to leave the relationship
2-Its hard to do it on your own, but its possible if you want to do it.
I would count on your family, if they support you great, but don't plan on it.
3-You can go to http://www.womenslaw.org/ and find help, you are not alone
4- Domestic violence is a terrible reality and you don't have to put up with it. From my personal experience it was really hard, specially with kids. The first week I left him I was so scared he was going to find me and beat me up, he was so mentally abusive that I felt like I couldn't do anything on my own, like I was worthless. When I left I fell a since of freedom and I felt empowered to proceed legally. |
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pitchee
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If he's like that to you it means that he doesnt love you. do you have kids? if not leave him while it's still not too late. its going to be harder if there's kids involve.... |
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lpaw44
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do it |
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braslinbabe85
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even if you can't get a divorce, I would try to do everything to just move away... there has got to be some way you can live away from the abuse, even if you are still legally married... then once you are away, you can find a divorce solution? |
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epooji
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First of all, get a job.. support yourself, Its hard to do that in the society that you live in. Then move to a different state or city and start your life over again, but ifyou have motivation and attitude, you go girl! Good Luck! I understand your problem! |
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sweetness
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first of all im sorry for you parents should have unconditional love i have a 19 21 and 23 and would never turn on them no matter what if you ever need to chat e-mail me good luck friend |
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DRAGON
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I am extremely sorry to hear that all. Love so short lived? Have you tried to know what are the reasons of his such behaviour? Is he involved with another woman? Are you both living separate or with his family? Is there any elder in the house? What have you done to save the marriage? I would suggest you to first try to find out the reason. Then try to talk with him in a polite manner. Don't shout at him. THis i am not telling you to be submissive but I want to control the situation because if both of you would become agressive then who will contain the problem? Be detemined and calm. Ask him what he expected of you and what is not being done... First try my suggestion and if you think right, then tell me the situation by e-mail : let_my_dragon_enter_you@yahoo.com
.com
JUST HAVE THE COURAGE AND TRY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE. GOD WILL HELP YOU. MAY BE I CAN FURTHER ADVISE YOU. GOD BLESS YOU... TREAT ME as your confident friend... |
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uncledad
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You do not say where you are located.
But you do have PC/internet access.
Something seems odd BUT
if only pregnant(no kids) you need to flee or pray for acceptance(his and yours)
Have you spoke to parents(first choice)
Seen your religiolus elders(second choice)
Sadly the third choice is no better than the situation you have now. But if in a country which recognizes familiar help- seek it!
Rough journey but may your path be easier some day. |
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