I am unhappy wife. My husband doesnot love me but i do not want to leave him. Is it alright to have a lover?

I_C_Y_U_R

Your husband doesnâ€™t love you the way you want him toâ€¦
You obviously donâ€™t love your husbandâ€¦
So why are you both still married?

Iâ€™m not going to suggest that it isnâ€™t right to stay together for the sake of the kids, but if you arenâ€™t seeing a counsellor, and there is disharmony between you and your husband, then you are probably doing more harm to the kids, than good.

Decide what is best for the kids, OKâ€¦
If you believe it is best for the kids that you and your husband stay together, then you need to work toward improving the relationship you share with your husband. You wonâ€™t be able to do that if you are chatting someone up on the internet !

Suggest to your husband that you believe you both need to talk to a counsellor in order to make the marriage work. Tell him that you believe it would be in the best interest of the kids for you to both stay together as a family, but unless he is prepared to try to make the marriage work, it would probably be best for the kids if you went your separate ways.

I hope you can work things out with your husband, but if it turns out that you split up, then forget about online relationships, and go after a real relationship in the real world. Perhaps join a Community Group or something, where the people you meet are really who they say they are.
There are just too many risks involved with â€˜onlineâ€™ relationships, so if you donâ€™t need to take those risksâ€¦ donâ€™t take them !!!

Joe

better to leave, than be "the cheating wife"...as far as staying in a bad relationship for the sake of the kids...been there, done that...won't ever be in that position again. It doesn't work for anybody involved, you, him, or the kids.

sara*

woman you need to calm down! offcourse it is not okay! u wanna have a lover becuz ur unhappy with ur married life but at the same time u dont want to leave him.. tht means u still love him ..so sort ur problem out with him BUT if u think he;s cheating then go for it! but make up ur f****** mind! u cant love 2 ppl at the same time!

hotchocredrose

I think you are also in the mess like me ..........I am also looking for a soulmate, mail me on hotchocredrose@yahoo.com

jay

Deftly u can ya before that just think one thing y u r not try 2 change him............ if u try already then choose a good person not a problem

Sadguru

dear,
internet lover dosent disturb your personel life so you can but try to save ur married life.

Raj

First of all, both of you should go to a marriage counsellor. Try to be more communicative with each other. Does your husband know how you feel? Have you tried telling him?If this does not work out, then separation/divorce is the last thing.

se7en

If your husband finds out he will likely be upset, very upset. It would be better to discuss with him before you do anything and see if maybe he feels the same about the situation.

If he finds out it could evolve into a brutal divorce and would put your children at risk of being in the midst of it all. Talk to him, tell him how you feel and express your desires that you are missing out on.

Don't lie, Don't cheat, Don't do anything you wouldn't want your kids to do someday. You are their role model and if you think you won't get caught you are mistaken as it will only be a matter of time.

dare

first of all if u have any lover thru the net he will want to meet u see u ... u will have to do all odd things without ur husbands knowledge...and u will feel tensed(or rather guilty) in doing all these things ... instead go and sit with your husband clear out the matter ...when u say that he hates you try to find out whether you are doing any mistake whether ...the things your doing dislikes him... instead do things that he likes u can draw him by doing what he likes and dont say that your views are not matching his ...think that it match... after all he is the one to whom you have given yourself...he is your everything...Adjustment is needed to mend any relationship... i am serious try out.... all the best ...dont have extramartial affairs... how can u maintain another relationship if u cant maintain this one....sorry for my being rude....you hav children rite... njoy your time wid them they'll will make you forget all your worries

sandeep k

I HOPE U R FROM TYPICAL ORTHODOX FAMILY. CHEATING UR
HUSBAND IS NOT GOOD IF U REALLY LOVE HIM.
ALWAYS THINK FOR SOLUTIONS (POSITIVE) FOR ANY PROBLEM. BEING AN INDIAN I CAN UNDERSTAND, HOW SUFFOCATING U FEEL WHEN U GET ORTHODOX FAMILY OR
HUSBAND/ WIFE. MAKE FRIENDS NOT LOVERS.
EVEN I'M SUFFERING THE SAME & I'M SENDING U MY QUESTIONS & BEST ANSWER I FOUND FROM IT
I HOPE THIS WILL HELP U. GOOD LUCK

this1isforlove

YOUR HUBBY DOESN'T LOVE YOU BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU DO YOU LOVE HIM...IF THE ANSWER IS NO..THEN THE BEST SOLUTION IS TO WALK OUT..BUT BEFORE YOU DO THAT HOW WILL YOU ENSURE THE NEXT GUY IN YOUR LIFE WILL NOT BE THE SAME...I WOULD SAY THAT EVEN IF YOU HAVE AN IOTA OF LOVE FOR YOUR HUBBY TRY TO SHOW IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN...DO NOT CHEAT ON HIM..BECOZ IN THE END YOU WILL BE DOWN IN YOUR OWN EYES...TRY TO FILL THE GAP AND FIND SOLACE IN THE LOVE FOR YOU CHILDREN...IF YOUR INTENTIONS ARE HONOURABLE THEN GOD WILL CERTAINLY HELP YOU...ALL THE BEST

abs

Hai,
I don't think u should go for an internet lover. u think what u can do.

Blondie

NO, it is NOT okay to have an internet lover! Period. Staying together for the children? I did. My husband didn't love me after many years of marriage,and I didn't love him, but I stayed. He would have never left me. So my daughters and I lived in a verbally abusive family. As it turns out, he died..... The year afterward, one of my daughters asked the question if it would have been better had I divorced him than to go through the grieving process of death with all the hurtful and bad memories of the relationship. You need to decide if staying in the relationship with your husband is worth what you and your children are going through. If the family relationship isn't that bad, then talk to your husband and get counseling. I would question what you expected in an arranged marriage. You took the chance of it being a good marriage or just an "okay" marriage. So the decision is yours whether to stay or leave. But NO internet lover.

smile_: )

Do not cheat when you are in a marriage. I have a friend who just went through divorce because of the same reason you are in except they have no children. If you are really unhappy, communicate with your husband. What are you trying to teach your children by having a lover on the internet? By having that thought, you are in the risk of meeting up with lover and possibly ending up doing things you are not supposed to do. What can a lover on the internet do for you and make you feel more loved?? If you do not want your husband to find out, do not start. You can't hide cos it will be found in a matter of time, in my friend's case. Be prepared for the worse if you are caught. Lose your husband, your chidren, your family. How will your family and friends look at you? If you have nothing to lose, then by all means to do things to make yourself happy, if thats what you want.

sickboy

NO!, First, why would u want to be in a marriage with no love, because of the kids, that's just an excuse. Kids don't need to be in a marriage like that, trust me, i know!, Second two wrongs don't make a right. You need to love yourself before others love you.

June E

I think it is ok to find a lover. My hubby has shared me with one man, and it has made our love life so much better. There is something so wonderful about having another man desire you. I say go for it. I would love to disuss my experience with you if you would like june_ericsson at yah__ dot com

Julia

A lot of people stay with their husband because of the kids and if thats what you want to do. If you remember your vowels than you know its wrong to have a lover on the internet looks like to me your just looking for some attention so just talk to your husband and let him know how you feel and if that doesn't work than you do what you think in your heart is right.

baba

leave him dear. if he don`t love u , u r 3 to have a lover. don`t u think that ur hubby has an affair with anyone else as he doesnot love u.

lildragonlexi

You say that your husband is not loving you "the way you want him to". Maybe your expectations of his love have changed over the years; maybe he has changed. Wouldn't it be better to find out which of you has changed and then try and figure out if it is still worth holding on together or getting out "for the sake of the children"...because that is a lame excuse to stay together...children are very perseptive and are more miserable living in a family of stress, coldness and lovelessness, fighting, and bitterness.
Maybe the "old style" of your marriage is no longer working for one or the both of you.....hey, you know what they say..."Variety is the Spice of Life." But, this does not mean cheating. Find something new about each other...I'm sure alot has changed since yu first met and fell in love....find it and work on it to build a new and better marriage.
Sometimes the things that first broguht you together were just phases, and now that you are older and more settled into a lifestyle...your priorities change and you need to find some new priorities that will re-introduce the two of you to each other and a wonderful marriage from now on.
Good Luck!!!!

brp_13

Hell no,,,you are trying to justify some very bad behavior, get off of lazy fat a$$ and get the divorce, oh yea then you might have to get a job. The easiest thing to do would be spread them for the first dirt bag that might want to slip it in...Or change your life and become a meaningful part of the marriage, take care of yourself, clean that nasty thing up, get a job and contribute to the relationship...Sounds to me as if he comes the closest to having a right, but neither of you do..

kashyff

Do you love your husband the way he likes, Have you ever asked him what he really likes and dislikes.change your mindset that ur husband doesnt love you, instead, think that he loves you the most.after removing all the bad thoughts and feelings about ur husband,Tell him your problem. and see what happnens.

yaryar93

you are married so its better not to have any other lovers at all, because he is your husband and you are his loyal wife so if you had any lover ,he will find out eventually and he will love u less than before. and im sure that he loves u but maybe he doesn't show his love to u. and if he doesnt love you he will divorce u so i bet he loves you and you love him, you have to tell him what u feel because maybe he will understand and love you the way you want,and think about your children, if u had another lover and he finds out, i think you will be divorced and your children will have a miserable life away from you both, i told u what i know and now it is up to you, either you cheat on him or be the loyal lovable wife??Good Luck .......

kitcat

No, its never okay to have a lover when you are married. And you know that as well because it is usually look down at especially in those arrange marriages. You have two choices, you can leave and go on with your life or you can stay and bear your cross. There are women that leave this type of situation everyday with children and they make it just fine. Yes, it will be hard but not impossible.

berry

Why not divorce him and then find someone else. That would be the right thing to do.

Jody B.

You're probably suffering from loneliness. Having a "lover" is a temporary fix and will eventually cause more problems.

Have you ever tried talking to your husband and telling him how you feel? If so, and nothing is changing, I would tell him either you two attend counseling or its bye-bye.

Your kids need two parents who love each other. They will likely use their parents relationship as a basis when developing relationships of their own. Is that what you want?

goldenweb12

yeah its is alrite to have net lover if u want 2 frndship with me just reply me

aBranch@60-WA ,<><

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