I am verbally abused. What should I do now?

Nicky

I've read your posts from the last couple of months and you've been having a rough time lately, for that reason I suggest that you perhaps you take a more objective approach to the issues your having. Your definitely suffering some issues from the ordeal you went through in your surgery and may perhaps be having some issues (with meds or with feelings your having) that require more attention medically. I'm not sure how long you've been on your new med and you seem to be having some questions about whether you should be taking this with your other medication simultaneously. I'd contact your physician, ask about the medication situation first and ask for a referral to see a psychiatrist to deal with any emotional issues your having (related to both your surgery and martial situation) so that you have someone to talk to these things about. Medications like these can take weeks to reach the appropriate levels of concentration to control the issues at hand. They also sometimes don't work for some people and can require a bit of pharmacological experimentation to figure out the best combinations for you individually. As for your husband, living with someone who is having issues like the one's that you've been experiencing can be very stressful and confusing (much like it's been for you). If the behavior he's been exhibiting surfaced during the last few months, you have to consider that the it's stress induced. He himself, may need to have someone that he can talk to about the stress and issues that your situation is causing for him and your children. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or that this is your fault, it's not, our brain chemistry and stressful experiences (such as what you experienced) can wreak havoc in our lives, yet it's nothing more than a bad break for us that's out of our control. See your doctor's and address the medical issues your having first to see if they alleviate the levels of stress, then work on the couples counseling/individual counseling. Many organizations provide free counseling (as well, you may qualify for medicare or low income insurance), ask your physicians and/or clergy (if you attend services somewhere) for help in finding this aid.

Jodie

go! get the kids and get out asap. its not good for you or them. been there done that, please go before it gets worse

Bs Girl

Sounds like this relationship is toxic. I think that you should separate. What kind of example are you setting for your children? The children need to be your first concern not him and I am sorry but it sounds like neither of you are good for each other.

bearsbullsfan

sounds like another candidate for the a** rape club. I'm a firm believer that any man who abuses a woman, verbally or physically, should be abused as well, via his rectum. of course, some of these losers may like it! seriously, you need to get away from him, your kids will be much better for it, not to mention you. the physical abuse can go nowhere but from bad to worse....get out now!

philemcracken

Can you make on your own? Do you have someplace that is safe if you did leave ?What is Retrouvaille ? Is it a Christian Retreat?Need omre info. God Bless

Lisa G

Allison:

You know that this relationship is not repairable or
you would not be asking this question.

You know what is appropriate and inappropriate for
your children to be exposed to, and you know what
you will or will not tolerate.

Now all you have to figure out is when you are leaving,
where you will be going, and how you will get there.

Best wishes

jude

its afr better to live alone happily than live with someone unhappily. when a man begins to disrespect and name call it shows what he thinks of u. also shows his immaturity on how he chooses to deal with problems. don't let your kids see u abused, or they will grow up thinking this is a normal thing. they could grow up to be abusers or to be abused.

robert120513

You've already answered the question. Nobody should stay in a an abusive relationship. One of you, (or worse, the kids), is gonna get really hurt. It can only get worse. please get out now and see a solicitor. You know it makes sense.

Adele

Well he calls you a ***** well...
a ***** is a dog
dogs bark
bark is on trees
Trees is part of nature
and nature is beautiful so yeah
thanks for the compliment

Piggy

I suggest you buy two sets of earplugs, one for you, one for him. That way you won't have to put up with each other's crap.

Rock n Rolla

You have answered your own question - you do need to be somewhere else. Not only for the sake of your children but for yourself. It's not easy to do but it can be done. And if you are in the UK there are counselling services that are run by volunteers and take donations(surely in the US too?)....not necessarily to sort your marriage out but to split amicably. Staying together doesn't sound like the best option but you have to do what's best for your children.

Janet W

Never good to be in a situation where your out of control. It's so hard for kids to live in a house where the parents don't get along. I grew up in a home where my parents stayed together "for the kids". I have to say, I would have rather visited my father than to have lived in a home of strife.

kd_lifer

Allison - you have a lovely bright smile! You already know that this relationship is spiraling in a bad direction. Whatever you decide to do, good luck, be strong, do the best you can to protect the kids and remember NO-ONE has the right to abuse you (verbally or physically).

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