I asked question the other day about dating after being widowed?

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I asked question the other day about dating after being widowed?
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I lost my husband 3 months ago. I asked the question about a man from my support group( which incidentally has nothing to do with grief) who asked me to lunch. He said he would like to be friends and people said to go o on with my life and go out and have fun, which I do need friends and need to get out some because my last 8 months were taking care of my husband up to his death. I moved to northern california recently and met this guy at my support group. I did go out to lunch with him today and it turs out he and I have tons in common( he is a professionalmusican , i play piano, we liked art etc) he now wants me to go out tomorrow night and asked me out for this and that and basically wants me to go out a lot with him alot. I told him tomorrow i wa sprobably busy. So now, i sit here crying because I feel guilty that i went out to lunch and wish my husband was back with me because i would not be dealing with these feelings... I am not sure what to do because i DID have fun today and enjoyed this persons company... why do i feel guilty and if i do feel guilty should i just tell this guy forget it and be alone for a while ( maybe like a year or something?)

SazMe

The 'guilt' you are feeling is betrayal. You feel as though you have just cheated on your husband - even though he has passed away. This is normal. The best thing to do (in my opinion) is to think about what your husband would have wanted you to do. If you have children, discuss it with them. Even talking to your in-laws can be helpful. It is a very difficult thing to deal with - dating after loosing a spouse. You did not have a fight or get a divorce or separate in any other way. You were still married to the man. Give it some time and talk to those close to you.
I'm sorry for your loss and good luck

L L

Early days for you in the grief process . Yes Guilt is part of that. It is Ok for you to have fun.

Ooo May Day!

its only cuz u are still missing ur husband and u wish he was still here with you and u feel like he is! that's why u feel u are cheating but u are not....u need more time to heal and move on...it takes time...tell that man u love to hang out with him but u do need him to understand not to take anything fast, but flow it from there...
it's okay to miss ur husband sometime...but smile u got a nice company too

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