I can't get over my husband's phone affair!?

cap

You may as well just call it quits because if you can't ever trust him and you think you hate him there is nothing left. You cannot have a long and healthy relationship with out trust. The only thing I can suggest is going to marriage counseling. You need help with the trust issue and he needs help with his need to reach out to someone other than his spouse. I'm not in anyway saying your at fault. I'm just saying you can't make it without trust and I don't blame you for the way you feel. i would feel the same way I'm sure

Joe

Why should you get over it?
The trust is gone, and that's a hard thing to get back. He has already lied too many times, and you will never be sure of the truth again...it's no way to live.

You can continue to beat this dead horse for a few more years, but it's over, and you know it. Best to just move on with your life, and start again with someone else.

Taryn L

try to take a break from even thinking about it. Come back to it when you feel stronger, then make a decision about staying or leaving.

shilpa

you need to be patient first of all. talk to him very open on the subject ask him to convince you over your dishonesty!...tell him that you want to rebuild your relationship but the trust has gone! if there is any hope he is the only one who can bring it back to your life! see what is his reaction! does he take the responsibility?or he shows an angry atitude!!!...talk to him in a peaceful situation. you are civilized! there is no need to fight! you have to fix it togethere!....if it didn't happend then step out of this life. as a woman you should work on your marrige due to being wiser than men! but never forget your pride!

godisgood

He probably was doing more than talking on the phone. Sometimes you can over come the hurt of a cheating spouse through counseling, but a lot of times it never works out. I would express to him how he made you feel, tell him he is on the a thin line, and you not sure yet if the relationship is going to lead to divorce. Be honest, and listen to him too.

loca_liisa

You need to decide if you both can get back the trust through therapy. Every marriage eventually has issues. And it takes us an our love for each other to overcome these issues that arise. If you feel hurt and betrayed then you do need to go and speak with someone. I would say and go and seek help for yourself first, but that is the wrong way to go about it. Because after you speak with your therapist, then bring him in on the conversation at a later date, that would not be fair to him. You both need to go together. Then lets say you both seek help and you see him really trying and then your feelings start to get back where it use to be, you can't be controlling of his every move. You need to build that trust back up and keep it there. If you eventually notice at that point that things are going back to how it was in the beginning...then you do have a decision to make. Is the relationship worth it or not.

Not to get religious here but I must say this. Marriage is to be a sacred bond between two people. You take your vows in the presence of the Lord and look into each others eyes and as you exchange rings that is a life long bond a untity of your love for one anther. But Jesus does not expect us to stay in any relationship where one is not faithful or abusive. But it should take some soul searching and talking with somoene. This is how I feel. But being human of course, I too would be very hurt and it would be hard for me to come to a conclusion to speak with somoene. I relate and I understand.

If you truely love him and want to try to make this work, then you both need to speak with someone. And once this issue has come a aggreement or a closure, then you both need to confront this other person and tell this person to never contact your husband again. He can make this up to you until the sun goes down and pigs fly outside, get professional help. I also feel, if you had any issues before marriage about his faithfulness..that was your red flag so to speak. It now is up to you if you wish to continue this marriage. The answer may just be staring you in the face ane maybe has been for some time. Good luck to you hon.

Karthik K

there is no more trust. you should have quit the first time you found out about the affair

I own you

get a new one.

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