I cant forgive my cheating husband, but we have a baby?

thatartistwin

I don't think there are very many people that have not been cheated on. The truly sad part is that he was trying to cheat with your best friend which makes him all the more inconsiderate of the damage he was doing to you. On top of that he knows you are ill and further exacerbated the stresses you must have. If he had simply cheated and made a mistake I would tell you to give him a chance but I am not so sure given the other factors involved.

Don't you DARE feel insecure about yourself because of an illness you cannot control and simply gaining weight. You are a far better person than him because you have kept your morals, integrity and trustworthiness by not cheating on his sorry ***! (He is or was lucky to have you)

I don't know what to tell you but I can for sure tell you that you don't have to stay and suffer that kind of emotional hurt for your child. No child wants to be in a family where the father blatantly hurts the mother. However, if you feel he is truly sorry go to counseling with him. I can promise you that if you don't get marriage counseling he will do it again eventually.

I have been cheated on many times. I stayed in a marriage even though my husband cheated and he did it again and again until finally we divorced. I know just how horribly painful it is. You are lucky to have a great friend who told you about it and did not take him up on the offer.

I am going to say a prayer for you that you get through this quickly and with minimal pain and suffering because I truly know what you are going through. People can be such selfish idiots. Email me anytime you want if you just want to vent or rant about it. I've been where you are.

Kristen

There comes a time when you HAVE to be selfish. You can't live your life like this. You should go where you are more happy. You and your daughter can always visit him.

Jordan M

Even if you leave him, divorce him or auction him off, your daughter will still have a father. His status as her father does not change because you are no longer with him.

rockonsteve

Talk to your husband. Communication is important. But if you are truly miserable and cannot get over it, that is not a healthy environment to bring up a child.

precious gal

just leave him.

I LUV SCIENCE

nope you should not stay in a relationship just for children. your daughter is too young too understand but if you dont have trust then you want be happy and you shouldnt be unhappy in a marriage and make your life miserable. you should first try to work it out but if you cant then you should move on. good luck

POOH

Go it alone. It doesnt mean he will stop being a part of yr daughters life but u will always be suspicious of him and everytime u argue over something else, u will throw what he did in his face.

Indescribable Susy =]

leave him

Life Coach

I would leave. It has never really benefited a child to live amidst a broken marriage. Your child will still have a father, just one that lives outside the home - which is getting to be typical family life these days anyway. If he stays, years down the road your child will become aware of his cheating and have a really bad example in front of him or her for family life. Also, your child is only one - so if you leave now your child will never remember life any other way. If you stay, you will probably eventually decide to end it, but your child will be older and more effected. There is a great man out there waiting for you and I wish you well.

nana .know it all

your daughter will ALWAYS have a father no matter if you are together or not but give mediation a try before you give up on this marriage

mickman99

dont rush things.he's been a fool like all men. give it a bit of time before you make a decision and talk to him and find out why he did it.dont let anyone make the decision for you it has to be your choice....good luck

magicalmysticalsheep

You shouldn't be asking the internet this question sweetie, you should be asking yourself. You can certainly stay friends with your partner after divorce, and I can see your clearly thinking of your daughter, but staying with him could have adverse effects too.

My dad cheated on my mum, quite a lot, and my mum stayed with him because of me. Looking back, it makes me feel incredibly guilty, for giving my mum years of suffering when she didn't need to, it also meant I was whitness to lots of arguements, and made me think this was normal for a while. There is no right, or wrong answer, other than to not stay with him if you can't forgive him.

You clearly love him, my advise would be to go to a GP, and ask about local councilling services. You may be able to find with time, and support you can forgive him and move on, or you may find you can't, either way you'll have an answer.

It's the oldest cliche in the book, but don't stay together just for your child. As much as you love her, you could be doing more harm than good.

Take care.

DV8

LEAVE HIM! Don't stay together "for the kid". Your emotions and moods affect your child more than you can realize, and that would be doing more harm than good. Besides, he's still her dad whether you're together or not, whether you like it or not. If he wants to continue his relationship with his daughter, that doesn't mean you have to be together! I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE!

punxsutawney phil

1. Nothing makes you gain weight, but yourself. You make the decision to do something about it, or not.

2. He is still her dad whether you are together or not.

Animemadness

I think you should try and make it back with him if he thinks he did something wrong and wants you back.
Otherwise ditch him now because he doesn't respect you and its more confusing for the child to not know whats going on and since the child is young loosing the Dad now will have lesser of an effect than when they are a bit older.
Its a big decision be smart good luck.

gggggg123456789

u can get divorced but still stay friends so that ur child still has a father in his/her life- thats my suggestion

Sandyi

Don't use your daughter to keep him. If you stay the only thing your teaching her is that it is OK for a man to cheat on her, and she will find the exact same type of guy! Leaving him does not make her fatherless. If he chooses to stay out of her life then he makes her fatherless.
You can do this. You do not have to lower yourself and stay with him. Respect yourself first! Good luck!

kingsprincess2000

Ask yourself, what would you gain if you stay with a man you can't trust? You will be unhappy, and how could you be good mother if you're unhappy. Children know, don't hide that pain. Being a single parent is not always a bad thing. On the other hand, if you can live with that and go on like if nothing's happened, then that is your choice and your choice only. Do it for your child.

Do you want your child to grow up to think that's what relationships are supposed to be like that? Being single again is a big step too, you need to prepare yourself for your new life, and that can be hard at first, but as long as you have people that support you, even if you don't, if you are a strong person and are willing to do it on your own anything is possible. Remember to take care of yourself first in order for you to take care of your child. Don't give up on life, not every man does that to thier wives. Good luck to you on whatever choice you make...but remember, life is too short to be miserable, weight comes off, pain become memories and more than anything remember, you make things happen for you.

PAIGE

She does not have to grow up with out a dad. Her dad can still see her if you both divorce. Plus its NOT healthy to be in a relationship were you cant trust him and you are miserable. Did you confront him with what happened? b/c you both need to talk about it. If you've talked to him and nothings worked out I'd say leave him. Yore daughter can still see him and you deserve some one you can trust.

missnuttie

You have to do what's best for you but remember to keep you child in mind. Split up with him if you really cant trust him he hasnt done anything to hurt your child so let him see your child then your 1yr old will still have a dad but you have to make sure you have a good relationship with him (not like bf and gf) so he can see your and his child

candyland300

You know what this is a question you can answer yourself--- do you really want to be "miserable" for the sake of your child.....Think about what you are willing to scarify and you self image isn't one of them......
The world already makes women think that they are nothing if they don't weight a certain amount are if your clothes cost a certain amount are if you don't have a certain body shape..
Do you really want to come home to someone that tried to F**K your best friend........ IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!!!

bella_bambina248

okay this is my opinion as i used to be this child or something like it, as did a lot of my friends,,,, if u r insecure and he is untrustable , u will fight and fight and ur child will grow up watching u fight and this will destroy the image of marriage in front of her, since the child does not really understand what is happening and itr is even more stressful for them to see the 2 people who are supposed to protect him fighting,,,,, but since she is 1 year , u still have time to try to fix it with him, although i think someone who cheats should never be trusted again, u can still try to give him a change to gain back the trust, but don't say with him for the sake of the baby, a lot of mothers did and they r now blamed by their children and make sure that a father if still a father of a baby even if he and the mother are divorcsed.

ubaidkhan85

WELL DEAR THIS THE PART OF LIFE ,,,, yoiu earlier mentioned that you have a child so not to leave your husband because it may damage the future of your baby have a meeting with him and try to bring him on right path i ll help you if you send me more detail dear
with best wishes
sameer

bellydancer

You have been hurt but you need to know why he has been doing this. Is it that HE is insecure and needed to feel good about himself.
It's not right but sometimes men do this if they are unhappy with situations or insecure.
You need to talk but the thing is that if you say you will forgive and then throw it back in his face all the time the relationship won't last even if you want it to for the sake of your child. If this happens its best to cut and run.
Make sure that either way you tell him that his behaviour is not acceptable and if he does it again he is out.
That should sort it.
n.b don't listen to the white guinea pig- that comment is disgusting, if he loves you then he will love you whatever size you are

pinktailgirly

i don't know what to tell you accept that only time will tell
wait a while and see what happens..ur feelings toward him will change
either you will accept the fact he cheated, and forgive him..or u won't

lifes short, you know. Im being raised right now by a single mother since 6 months, and shes my hero. Don't stay with someone just for the kids, its going to drag you down.

green eyes are smiling

I think if you both go to counselling you could save the marriage, thank god you have a good friend who didn't do nothing but why did she not tell you sooner, guess she was protecting you. If you can go to counselling and be open then maybe you can save the marriage.

Both of you will have to make a renewed effort to try to open up communication and you can still be attractive and have some weight, it is all about how you are feeling and I can tell your confidence in yourself has been knocked really bad. Believe in yourself and you do deserve to be treated like you are the best and beautiful, if he is not willing to make you and your child his no.1 priority then you may have to leave or him but he can still be in her life and be a good dad. Wish you well.

Tala M

would you have wanted your mom to stay with your father while disrespecting her and lowering her self worth? Probably...NOT. Your baby will still have a daddy that does not change. You need to show her what self respect and confidence is by role modeling. Leave the hubby, once he tries to cheat, he just gonna be chasing tail forever after. Being alone is not a life sentence it could be fun! And if you are loving of yourself you would open up the opportunity to find a man who will love you just the way you are.

Asha

You have to do whats right for you and make sure that you are happy with what decision you make (cos im sure if your in an unhappy situation your baby will feel a vibe and that cant be good for her).

At the end of the day your relationship shouldnt dictate whether or not your daughter has a father or not. If you are or arent together he should be man enough to ensure he will take responsibility for your child.

All the best.

Bethany A

Yo cant just stay with somone for the sake of your baby, children can sense friction and friction is not good if you move on while your baby is young you will find it easier for you and your little one
Good Luck babe

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