I cheated once and It has been the biggest regret! How can I gain my trust back with my fiance?

gimmieswag

she will never trust u again

Jennifer

He might say he forgives you but it will always be in his mind. you hurt him for life

Sparkles

Imagine how he must feel. This is your punishment for cheating.

Mr. Bigglesworth

You don't deserve him. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal.

QnA34

sorry but you can't. if you stay together its on borrowed time ...

cee

ha, speakin from the other side of the issue,,, good luck! Oh it could be done,,, with tons of effort, unless, you have hurt him more than he loves you!

The girl next door

Maybe you guys need to post pone the wedding for now. It might take some time for him to trust you again. Once trust is gone...it's very hard to get it back. Don't get married if these problems presist.

rosa rodriguez

i think you should be asking him that question!

Cutie

Time will ease the pain. OH and you can't mess up again. The more time that goes by and you havent done anything.. then he'll start trusting you again.

u just have to give it time

True Dat

The only thing that will help you win back his trust is time. TIme spent not cheating, that is.

Nicole

im sorry but i have no sympathy for you. u should of thought about that when you did it. he will never forgive you but if he did, it will take forever for him to trust you again. thats you fault so dont get mad at him. why in the hell did you do it in the first place?

Bride2Be

First off..Your Fiancee will never trust you the same way again. He may think that you could cheat again. It is going to take a LONG LONG time to build up the trust.

martiek7

You never will - I am sorry to say but you shoud have thought about what you were about to do and the way it would affect your life and then decided if it was going to be worth it. With time, effort and prayer you may be able to regain some of his trust, but it will never be yours again 100% unconditionally.

glowofacandle

you will never be able to get it back...once a cheater always a cheater!!! I hope he figures out he deserves better. Im single and never have cheated send him my way!!!!

sylonthego

time...it takes lots of time if he is willing to forgive. remember, even if he forgives, he will never forget. you need to do everything to make him feel secure..even if it means reporting to him when you leave the house and where you are going and with whom.

you will have to bend over backwards to try and make this work. also, know that it takes time to get over it...not a couple weeks or months. (talking from experience on the other side)

wish you the best...

a_lot_smarter_now

I'm really sorry you're in pain, but this is a classic case of our "split second" decisions coming back to bite us in the assola. Unfortunately, now, you have to face the consequences. I'm sure you thought about that before you cheated, but for some reason, the good feelings you were gonna get from the other guy overshadowed whatever you felt for the fiance. With time, maybe he'll heal. You have to EARN his trust back. Nothing you do or say right now will make it any better. If you think you hurt, just think about what he's going through if he really does love you, and at the same time feels so betrayed by you and doesn't want to love you anymore, but does. He has to figure out if he can EVER trust you again. I hope you learned your lesson. I don't buy the "once a cheater always a cheater" thing. I know for a fact people CAN change. Learn from this and don't ever make this particular mistake again. As you can see, it's not worth the cost. Not at 'tal! Nothing you can do, but wait and see how this pans out. Be faithful no matter which way it goes. Because he might forgive you or might not, but you ALWAYS have to live with yourself. Make the right choices from here on out, Dear.

i go loony

that depends on how big the mistake was and how big your apologies are for that mistake. Well, sincerity is the answer. Try to be as sincere as possible with your apologies. If that won't work, try to give him some space and time for his own realization, and for your own. Time will answer as time will heal.

Just a friend.

You can't, fact is not only should he never trust you again but he should dump you and find a good woman. A woman that respects him, the relationship and knows how important that is. You are the lowest of the low, a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater.

The percentage of cheaters who tell their partner that they will never cheat again is 100%. Therefore you telling him that you would never hurt him again is meaningless. You have already crossed that line, and crossing it again is easier the second time.

He should kick you to the curb now and not look back. Hope you get what you deserve.

Nena S

Trust is a very precious thing, and once broken, it cannot be patched up. You cannot gain his trust back. It's up to him to decide IF he wants to try again with you or not.

You will have to accept his decision.

This is the price you will have to pay for making a big mistake.

hi_stk_n

It will take time for him to trust you again.

You have to earn his turst all over again. Generally someone trusts you until you do something to betray that trust. You betrayed his trust.

Now everytime you go out without him or talk on the phone to someone he doesn't know, he will wonder if you are talking to another man or if you are going to cheat again.

You just have to work hard to gain his trust again and like I said it takes time.

Shannon E

Itâ€™s going to take a long time for him to get over this. Itâ€™s very hard. Iâ€™ve been cheated on and there are times I look at him and I can picture the affair.. Along with how could you possibly do this to me!!... I donâ€™t your situation and know how or why it happened. So some please forgive me if I go off a bit to the right.....

He is still there and didnâ€™t leave, there for he does love you and is accepting what has happened. Trying to make it work. He has shied away because he doesnâ€™t want to feel like this again... Keep in mind he will never truly forgive you, the thought never does go away fully.

The good thing is you have fully realized the mistake and will not allow it to happen again. You have admitted it and taking it to heart. I give you full respect for trying to fix this mistake.....
I do know you will need to work you *** off every way possible for him to have that security back again. Yet not to the point where it drives him up the wall....Phoning and checking in when you are out and about wont hurt, letting him know what your plans are and so forth. Itâ€™s the small things that will help a lot. Not the big things. Respect will return. Do more stuff as a couple, some nice dinner dates from time to time and so forth.

Tell him how you feel and what it is doing to you, even thou it was you who made the mistake you need to tell him this will help him to understand why you are trying so hard to fix it. Lay it on the line. Communication helps so dam much.. it really does .....Plus he will open up to you and he will express how he feels and whatâ€™s been crossing his mind. Maybe not right now but it will come he will find it easier to approach the subject.

db14

There is no timetable for him to trust you again...he will.:) But he will trust you when he can. When he feels safe. Take responsibility and show remorse. Examine why it happened and be sure those factors will not influence you again. Be open. Give him permission not to trust you. Don't be upset if he wants to know where you are, who, what etc. Tell him exactly what's up before you do it. like...I'm going to the store, if you need me I've got my cell.

I am not saying that he gets to have control. That is not right. He needs to feel safe. You need to be understanding and patient.

I hope this helps....It did for me.

Good luck, hang in there.

do u no why u cheated?

i believe the only way to make this ok is to find out why u cheated and then work on those issues...
so that u no u could never do this again

feeling now that you couldn't do it again is a gut reaction - if u marry this guy, u'll need to feel this forever, even when things do get dull, difficult, unbearable etc.. as they sometimes do

apologies mean nothing
words mean nothing

u have a lot of work ahead of u and i wish u luck

steinerrw

Trust is the one thing which takes the longest to heal.
Be glad its just a fiance'.
The best you can hope for is the opportunity to move on and put this behind you.

Dan G

You've set yourself up for a long haul. Write him a letter, maybe take several days to write it, be heart felt. Tell him why you were wrong, tell him how much he means to you, how much you love and miss him. Tell him you would do anything to get his trust back. Let him decide. Buy him a card, something that expresses the pain you've caused Things will slowly come back, but for years you'll have continue to gain that deep trust. If he stays with you, you know he's willing to work it out, he knows it will take a great amount of time. And finally decide to give up or give in on things before you might of used as leverage,

FYIIM1KO

Time,this one will take time,and in this case actions speak louder then words,he doesn't want to hear you cry and hear you say you wont do it again,he wants your actions to speak for themselves,and in time he will see that you are sincere,if indeed you are.Remember,laying there crying,in hopes of forgiveness is not going to make it all go away,and he is crying too,on the inside.It is not all about you,yet it is all about what you do from this day forward.

cool_honeybabe

Once gone it is difficult to gain it back.You should know what i mean"Trust".Takes time dear!

kristina43

That's a hard situation...I did the same thing one time with my ex...and even though he forgave me, it was never the same. He didn't look at me with love anymore...more of the fact that he was scared to be alone. In the end, we broke up, because it was something he could never forget, nor give me the same trust anymore, and it was just too hard. I understand why he did it....I would feel the same way if my husband cheated on me. I guess if you are willing to go through the wait, you will have to give it lots of time, and continue to do anything he asks until he is ready to let it go

tcb396

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you will never get the trust back. Once you've lost it, it is gone. If you were married I would tell you to work on it and try to make things better even though they will never be the same. However, you said fiance so your best bet is to call it quits, let the hurt heal, start over with someone new and learn from the mistake you made the first time. I'm not trying to be mean, just honest. This should also tell you something about yourself. Take a honest look at yourself. Is he really the right one for you, do you have low moral values and cheating is just not a big deal to you, are you horny and he is not taking care of your needs and etc. You need to find out why you cheated in the first place.

Miss Tickle

Tricky one that, it's hard to re-gain trust when it's been broken. it takes time to build it up again. I believe in "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" or almost gone. I take it he knows about it then?

we all learn from our mistakes and it's a learning curve for you. In time he will trust you again, just show that you can be trusted. Don't let it eat away at you, try to convince yourself that it sisn't happen and one day you may be able to believe it. Not the same for your other half but it will make you stronger to get along.

I Can Lick My Eyebrows

Sweetheart, you already destroyed the true key to a successful marriage â€“ trust! Ya, you feel bad now, but where were those feelings when you were accepting some other guys love? When it happened, you never thought about about your fiance when you were having your orgasms, were you?

Would you look at him the same way as before and completely forgive and forget for him if it was the other way around? Every time he sees you now, he sees the other guy violating what he was preparing to devote a lifetime to. The problem with cheaters: they always regret what they did, but ultimately do it again.

Sorry to say, you ruined it for yourself and destroyed his trust. Do you think he will ever forgive and forget? His current response suggest no, so getting married would be a waste of time, energy and money. I'm suprised he's even still around.

If I were him, you'd be on the pavement, on your own back to the guy you cheated with.

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