I did not cheat and I have proof?

moniquebell

he's going to believe what he wants to believe and you can't chantge that. You may still love him, but he's looking for a reason to stay apart.

Shelley

The message is not proof... its easy enough to have someone send you a message that is not true (or even fake the archives). You can't make your husband believe you. If you really want to fix your marriage try a therapist, either as a couple or alone.

LaQuinta

I don't think you should be going on dates when you are married and your husband should always be aware of any new friendships male or female.

Reo

It probably won't make any difference. The damage is already done. It's time to pack up your toys and move on.

Pink

I you were separated then what business of his was it?

BLAINE

if you really love him then why do you need another guy as a good friend. i'd be mad to. it's ok to have guy friends, but not going out on dates when your already with someone!

MariClaude

If you went out with another man while married, your husband has the right to be angry and not believe you. He could only be angry because it hurt him that his wife went out with another man while still together with him. Now if it happened while you've been separated (not living together), then he might still have strong feelings for you. Either way, he wouldn't be angry if he didn't love you. Men have a habit of closing up when they are angry. So if you have to talk to him, do it without arguments and get off the defensive.
If you love him, tell him. Ask him to give you the benefit of the doubt. He needs proof of your love. Give him time to cool down, ask him out on a "date" where the both of you can be alone for a few hours. Turn of the cell phones and take a walk with him. Talk with him. Look at him as you speak with him. If he still loves you very much, you will see it in his face. Don't beg and plead. You also have to let him tell you what's on his mind at his own pace. Don't push an issue. Change the subject to another aspect of your relationship. He will change his mind if you show him how you feel.
Take care. I wish you well.

kathryn3

OK, if you're really just friends with this guy, you should change your language... "date" implies cheated. "Not ready for a relationship" implies that you were considering it in the future. If you really love your husband, I'd really examine what you were doing with this guy, be honest with yourself, and then be honest with your husband.

Tommy T

if its already not that great and it does show ur not together or cheating on him, it cant make it that much worse even if it turns for the wrong! I would go for it, why not. Give it a shot.

~Life Goes On~

it all depends on how the relationship stands. maybe he's looking for a thing to hold against you, but at least see what happens

danielle

Show him. its worth a try. even if he gets mad at least you tried. tell your husband that you we're just looking for a friend, tell him you still love him. be honest. I hope things work out for the best!

Fairy*Blue*Eri

Show it to him if you want him to believe you. He may get angry but at least he will know the truth.

*~*Ariel*~*

he is the one with the lover and found an opportunity to leave and took it if he was so sure you cheated he would not want to work things out i can tell you that right now. he will believe what is convinient to him so dont bother , but look out for him he is up to something this will end up being about him not you.

freeman3905@sbcglobal.net

show it to him and let him know you love him

angel h

I think you should show it to him even if it gets him angrier because then you'll know that you have tried your best to prove him wrong. Just try to prove it to him and save your marriage. I'd suggest not dating anyone else or go on anymore dates with guys without other friends though until this is settled as you don't want him to keep accusing you of cheating.

show him anything to prove your case and let hi know how you truely feel

val l

you can show it to him but he might not belive it...cause most of the time a loyal lover will say whatever you want them to

Daiquiri Dream

You are too young to be married if this is your situation.

Hopefully there are no kids involved.

n0s

Dating while married is a big mistake to begin with and just because you have an im from the other guy doesn't prove anything except that you have been talking to him.

shellhiggs07

You are separated so really it has nothing to do with him.
I can probably understand his hurt as you were both married and to think that your partner has moved on can make you hurt and angry.
But you do not have to prove anything to him because you are no longer together.

Wondering

Showing the message isn't going to help.If he has dought's about your date then there's not much you can do to change it.If the two of you separated with the agreement not to date anyone then he should be mad but if there was no agreement about dating then he is the one with the problem.I do think though that if either of you are going to date then you should at least set some rules or get a divorce.Things like this get messy.

You love your husband but you went out on a date with another man? I'm just trying to understand this...

Nort

He can just say you asked the guy to send it because you gave it up. If he won't trust your word, the marriage cannot work, move on.

zether

so wait a minute, you went on a date with this guy because you need a friend and you are just not ready yet for a relationship yet?

doesn't matter if you didn't cheat, the intention is there for the future

Lady Hewitt

Then show him the prrof... Are you sure your husband is not cheating on you???? Let the guy tell him for that matter... Just remember this your husband might be cheating as he is doing the accusing even though you are seperated for that matter.

wolftv

well frist off to me i dont know about all the details but going on a date with a guy can be considered cheating so he could be very hurt just by that or maybe he just cant handle the thought of you in anouthers arms and chouses anger to hide that. Give him some time and let him know that he is the only man in your life and keep it that way then you have to decide if keeping this freind is worth your marrage

Bonduesa

Must be some more to the story then that. Dating while being separated is sort of cheating don't you think? If you and your husband was going to try working things out. A friend can be anything you make it to be. so showing some instant message is just dumb, If you want your husband back, just act like you don't have anything to prove and leave it as that

Beau R

No don't bother. He will think that you put the other guy up to it. Better you take your chances that he will take you back. He will have to get over several nasty pictures he has in his mind. If he can't then you both will just have to move on.

Greg

Does it matter? I mean he left and told you to move on first,so proving you did nothing but torture some poor guy you met up with, crying your heart out about how it was breaking doesn't change that, does it.

I know what it's like to want to refute things they throw up to rationalize their exit. But when you go to do that, there'll just be something else or some other angle on it, and a week later a way to prove that isn't true will occur to you, and then what? How long do you want to drag this out?

Everytime you call, you open your own wounds and give him another opportunity to reject you all over again.

If he calls you, then maybe... I don't know everything. But you gotta get a grip on your emotions, and that's going to take a while.

elle55407

If you had a date with another man while you were still married...which it sounds like you are still married...then you did cheat. Whether you ripped off each other's clothes or not, the fact remains, you've been im'ing someone else and meeting someone else for a date, that is cheating plain and simple. I would INSTEAD apologize to your husband, tell him you were not thinking and would like another chance. Throwing the IM at him is just going to make him more upset. If you love him, fight for him.

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