I feel so dumb and needy, but...?
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I feel so dumb and needy, but...?
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I get so jealous of my husband's video games. Usually I don't mind if he plays them, unless he does it all day. He wasn't feeling well today (just a cold... nothing serious but still didn't go to work) Instead he played his new game. He's supposed to be studying so he can pass this test but since he got this game, he'll play that all night and study for like 5 minutes til he falls asleep.
Anyway, (believe it or not my point isn't to complain) I know that my happiness can't depend on him and blah blah blah.. But he's really all I have right now- him and my babies. We just had a new baby a couple weeks ago :) But he's in the Army and we are away from all our family and friends. There isn't much for me to do outside the house with a newborn.
I am new at this marriage thing, and we just celebrated our first anniversary. Today I'm just a little upset because he played his game ALL day while I cleaned the house like a madwoman so his sick germs don't get to the baby. And then he went to study, and lo and behold, fell asleep until it was time for me to go to bed. And here I am. Up with the baby, while he's downstairs playing the damn game. Again!
This is more of a ridiculous rant... but really... is it so much to ask for a little intimacy and attention every once in a while? I hate competing with a GAME. How can I get over it and be mature about it? It's not always this bad, he'll just find one he really likes and go through these crazy gaming spurts til he gets tired of it. I'm sick of it though, really.
Additional Details
Can't play with him, it's on the computer and I have no interest in it whatsoever.
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Angela
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It's not dumb and needy. My husband did the same thing when we were first married (we've been married almost 2 years now). About 6 months into our marriage I talked to him about it. I told him what I needed from him (more intimacy and attention) and told him how I felt when he sat and played video games all day, including how I was frustrated because he was falling behind in school because he didn't study. It was a tough conversation but it went over surprisingly well. We worked it out and for every hour of video game time, I get an hour of us time, even if it's just him helping me around the house. Tell him what you need from him and be willing to compromise and you can work it out. It's not ridiculous to want his attention and you should never have to compete with a game! |
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beachtan365
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You are not the one that needs to be mature about it. He needs to be the one that's mature. He's a freakin' adult with a family. His time needs to be put into his wife and children. I can understand that a man has his own hobbies every now and then but to play a video game all day!! I hope he's helping you with the household duties and kids.
Eventually you will start to resent him about this. Like now, you're up with the baby and he's enjoying himself, free of any responsibility. Who says you can't enjoy your own leisure time to watch a little tv, or doing something else for YOU?
You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him you are not against him playing his games, and it's ok every once in a while, maybe when the kids are napping or when the house is tidy, but it's unreasonable for him to play ALL DAY! |
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Andrew
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Maybe you should talk to him about it. Or another option is to play with him sometimes. |
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shannon
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Bottom line relationships are work.,.. Married for 10 years now and I am still working hard at it. More intimace. What are his Likes. NO Joke, is he into Videos, toys, Laungrie, What ever it is he likes Use that as a tool. I am not saying make this a game
But when you get a chance say honey when you get 5 mins I have to talk to you it is important and ask him how long till he can make time to chat with you? Then go away and wait that time!!!. Keep it short and sweet. Say I want more of your attention like. I want to watch a movie or I want you to make a surprise for me tonight . Ask him to suprise you with something cool. Then say in return we can do something that you like @#@#@#@##@@## Then after we can have fun my way later. Keep it short see what he says.
Also for you it is 20.00 online it is great for stress it is called Bejewled2..Wow that really takes up a lot of my stress when I need to relax. As for you sweet child Stop cleaning all the time. Make a commitment to clean as you go, Have a rule for yourself nothing on the floor. Towel hair brush what ever nothing on the floor. Then you will have more freee time when the baby is happy playing on there own. GOOOD LUCK |
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