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Waynes Angel
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my heart goes out to you sweetie i am here any time you nee to talk just email me i went thru the same thing 12 years ago but mine had a child with his girlfriend we have been married 13 years and i have an 11 year old stepson but any way don't throw it up in his face i know you cant forgive right now but time will heal the wounds just talk to him if it gets to weighing on you to much don't yell and curse just talk normally and try to trust him to a certain extent not all the way he has to earn all your trust just don't hold it in talk to him and try your hardest to make it work if i can do it you can just remember men need to feel they are all that matters to you in the world if he feels that way he wont stray anymore please try to make it work and like i said i am here if you need me just email me the best of luck to you |
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farahwonderland2005
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Has he gotten rid of the girlfriend? After you are sure she is out of the picture, you have a chance to mend your marriage. It will take some time for you to trust him again but is possible. This situation is like a vase falling and breaking -- you can glue it back together but the cracks always show. Good luck to you. |
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Alana J
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My ex and I tried to do the same thing. However, it did not work. I believe the only reason he wanted to try was because he felt guilty and did not want to give up everything we had. The difference between a one night stand and a girlfriend is that he has feelings for the girl. I think that was the hardest thing to deal with. When your spouse gives himself to another person that way it hurts like crazy. My advice - find out the extent of his feelings for this girl. Make sure he is truly commited to you and your relationship. If he is not you will end up hurting again. |
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Reiko Peaches
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I admire you if you can find it in your heart to forgive him and try to make it work. I know I couldn't. |
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zero
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I truly admire you for being able to forgive. I am sorry to hear of your problems and will pray for you both. This is a tough problem for a marriage and will take alot of time and hard work. You both will have to fight for your marriage. I'm not saying to fight with eachother, but within yourselves. Fight the urge to give up, fight your anger and especially fight the jealousy. A marriage counsler would help. If you believe in God, know that through God everything is possible! Stay Strong! Good Luck & God Bless! |
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drew.bryant
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Well if your mind is made up then I say GO FOR IT! It's not impossible to work these things out and get past it.
First thing I would suggest doing is talking about why he felt that he needed another person. What was missing? Find this out FIRST.
Men have the tendency to cheat for so many different reasons and a lot of times it has nothing to do with you. So try not to feel inadequate. I know it's kinda easier said than done but it's vital if you are ever going to let the past go and move on.
If you don't feel you can do that then you might want to move on or wait until you can. That is probably the single most important thing when trying to regain trust in a person.
If you think you can do these things, then try it out. But if you ever suspect cheating again, you might want to read up more in-depth on what you can do.
A great resource is... http://cheatingsigns.blogspot.com
Best of Luck,
Drew Bryant |
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casinodog
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WHY DON,T YOU GO OUT AND GET A BOYFRIEND.
HE WON,T CHANGE |
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rhino
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Get professional counseling, and let him know that he needs to earn your trust again. If he starts not wanting to go to the sessions, or is finding reasons to need to get away, chances are his heart is still elsewhere.
Don't let him sweet talk you into something that doesn't sound right. At the same time, allow yourself the ability to forgive him, and let him know that you want to make it work, but he needs to work at it too. Best thing I guess I could tell you is that forgiveness and trust are not necessarily partners. I am not saying be skeptical of his every move, but he needs to know that trust and respect are qualities that one earns from another, and, right now, he needs to reestablish both with you as his sole mate. Be fair to him, and allow him the opportunity to do so. But, don't let him psychologically abuse you, and be careful if he seems to, "need to get away" more often then before. |
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Blunt
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Go to marriage counseling together. You have to learn to cope with this and he needs to make amendments. You have to go thoughr this as a couple and both of you need to be commited to fix the problem.
He needs to stop the relationship with his mistress and re-connect to you. You need to learn how to forgive him and how to move on. This is not easy.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. |
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i know, i know, i know!
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The first time it's his fault, the second - it's yours.
Re-buidling trust in a relationship is very hard, but it is indeed possible. There are many steps involved, though, and you will have both a hard time.
My advice would be, I guess, try to figure out what happened. Don't just try put it behind, learn the reasons. When you've learnt why, you can both work on it. You'll have to communicate a lot. Always talk, always speak up your minds. If there's something wrong, or if you feel a way or another, or if you have a problem with something, then share it.
If you both love each other, then give yourselves a chance. But if after trying really hard, you realize it's not going to work, don't force the marriage to work - it won't.
The best of lucks girl, I hope you can find peace within yourself and overcome this. It'll be hard. But when someone is truthfully sorry... they make up for it. |
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kryptonnite2000
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If you want it to work go for it girl! Good Luck! You are now in composition with so you must rise to the challenge. Win your husband back. |
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fortyninertu
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He must give her up. the two of you get into counseling and find out why he cheated. If he wont do these things then collect evidence of the affair and see an attorney |
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piraterachel
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I guess if you want to be with someone you can't trust to be satisfied to be with just you. See if he will be honest enough to tell you what he was looking for that he didn't already have with you. If it's variety, he will never be faithfull. But, if it's something more that you can do with him, but weren't before, do it and see if that fixes what was wrong. Good luck. |
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chastityelizabeth
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be ready for him to cheat more and maybe even give you a disease |
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lisa
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Its hard i say that in the present tense because i'm in that boat right now. I love my husband but it hurts like hell we have nothing like kids or material thing everything is mine so i just love him and i want to be married but you and him gotta work very very hard.And you gotta let her go that i can't do right now because i see her at the local store almost everyday and its hard follow your heart and make changes in your relationship and for the record untill you feel ok he does and should answer all your questions. |
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panthrosbulge
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My advice is that once someone has cheated on you, they will be much more prone to cheating on you again. My sister went through 3 divorce proceedings before she finally figured that one out. |
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A Proud Marine's Daughter
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actually there is no making it work after that. the three most important things in a marriage are trust, honesty & respect... without anyone of those there is no marriage. you will never trust him totally again, he obviously doesnt respect you and he is definatly not honest with you. DIVORCE move on and find that man that you were meant to be with!!!!!!! |
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Heather W
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If it were me i would kick him to the curb and tell him to get lost. I wouldn't tolarate it BUT if you can find it in your heart to forgive him and honor your wedding vows then I commend you for it. It takes alot to do that.
The best I can tell you is good luck. |
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Sweet Belly
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Lay ALL of your cards on the table and talk it out. It'll help you figure out how you feel about it, and it will help you define the platform that the rest of your marriage is going to grow from. It's important that you both know what to expect from each other, and make sure that you are both aware of the other's feelings, whether they are good or bad. And from there, NEVER keep under wraps what you are thinking or feeling. This way you can address any dormant resentment or hidden feelings. Also, the good has a chance to come to the surface. |
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waiting for baby
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As long as you can forgive him
Good luck |
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Pauline L
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Can you ever trust him again? My advice leave his sorry cheating ***! |
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mks 7-15-02
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Dump Him |
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Lioness
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You are asking us to give you advice so I will give it to you. Kick the guy to the curb. Let him go live with his girlfriend. When he is at work, get a restraining order to keep him from the house. Then, pack up some clothes for him. Have the police service him and get him out. Then, change your locks. When you go back into court to review the restraining order, serve him with divorce papers. OR, you can be a doormat and let him have a girlfriend when he is sharing a bed with you. |
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gmconlan
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First go to the doctor and get checked for HIV and STD's. Good luck! |
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johnnyshelbysam
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Get a dog (a FAITHFUL one) |
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Rachel
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I wouldn't tolerate that. If he has a girlfriend, he should be given a divorce - WISE UP! |
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Jim G
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two's company but three's a crowd. somebody must go |
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homeytheclown
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didn't it already not work out? |
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