I found out that my fiance has been cheating behind my back. Should I dump her or give her a chance?

saliberry

Maybe if it just happened the one time I would forgive but if she has been cheating for months how do you know this will stop when you are married especially since she does not even know you know. Before doing anything I would confront her and see what she has to say. I think though that when she accepted your engagement ring she made a commitment and she broke that. I know it is hard giving up 5 years but can you really marry someone you can not trust? And if you are angry now are you going to be able to let that go because that is not a good way to start a marriage even if you want to give her another chance.

cork

LOst...
be glad you found out..
want a wife that cheats???

move on..................

Dan-o

DUDE......GET READY. Breaking up is hard, you owe it to yourself to end it. It will come up later and kill your marriage....sorry if I dont look on the bright side regarding this matter but if you have any self respect you will leave her and find a way to move on.
Hang in there!

Renee

For heavens sake...if she is going to cheat on you while she is engaged to you..she will do the same when you both are married. Break off your engagement/relationship. It is not 5 years lost...it is a lifetime saved (yours). You saved yourself ALOT of grief and a costly divorce. It may not seem that way now...The best indicator of the future is the past. Get out of this relationship and on with your life. Good Luck.

jenay672001

I don't know how you can maintain composure in her presence, knowing what you know. It must be torture.

Dump her.

The flip side is you aren't the only one who can call the whole thing off. Maybe she will, then you lose 5 years anyway.

Sandy

Step out of self for a moment and read what you wrote... You are staying with her because you don't want to start all over from scratch... you never said -I love her so much and cant live without her- your talking like you were house breaking a pet... if she had the nerve to do it once ... believe me she will do it again... so you starting over can be now, before the marriage... or later by getting divorced... I know its hard to end a relationship even when it is the right thing to do... but realize shes evidently not as committed as you are... and you deserve better... Move on

melissa052572

Okay you know the answer to this one, I just think that you are going to try and hold on with false hope. Who is paying for the wedding/ Her parents? If it is do what the guy from the "PRICELESS" commercial did, set the wedding date, then at the end with proof get her in front of the whole family and friends. Maybe that will teach her from cheating. Again hopefully.

AnnieD

End the engagement. When you get the ring back, return it or sell it and take a trip with the money.

You didn't waste five years; she did!

U DON'T KNOW ME!!

Honey move on without her.

I understand that you feel like that would be 5 years down the drain, but if you marry her and she does it again(which she probably would) then that's potentially even more years down the drain plus a nasty divorce.

Save yourself the drama and heartache. Cut your losses now.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Good luck sweetie.

mgibson92804

run..run now...you gave her a ring and gave pain back in return..5 years is better than the rest of your life in doubt

Royalhinney

She cheated on you and you are lucky enough to find out what kind of person she is before you get married and have a family. Please don't proceed with the wedding. You'll be on here in a few years asking questions about how to get out of your marriage because your wife cheats.

elprez14

Once a cheater...

Cheat on me once, shame on you...Cheat on me twice, shame on me............

It may be 5 years wasted, but you don't want to be married for 5 years and have her still cheating on you and then it will be 10 years wasted and maybe then you'll have children to be concerned about. Better do it now then wait until it gets worst.

SE7EN

If they do it once they will do it again....

girly_guada

i think you should dump her. i think that once a cheater always a cheater. but if you love her that much you two should talk it over and try to solve it between the two. and i think you should let her know that you know

~Another Day~

GET OUT!!!! She does not deserve you at all!!!...And to marry her would be crazy. They will always bother you!!! I wish you luck!

marincaligirl

Once a cheater....always a cheater. How can you ever trust her again?

xlhdrider

Dump here she is not committed

Bambi

That depends. Do you have the capability to forgive and forget. If you marry her can you be 100% sure she is not going to cheat on you again. Its a stressful situation and it can get more complicated the longer you stay in a relationship with an unfaithful person. I think you need to confront her and tell her what you know and how she hurt you. Take it from there. Good luck and im sorry you have to experience this!

take it from me..i have been there..GET OUT...now!!...the trust is broken..be thankful that you found out BEFORE you got married...she will only hurt you more since she will feel that you are weak..i know it will hurt a while, but you will be better off in the long run..trust me i have been EXACTLY where you are...don't take her back.....good luck..

Taffi

Look at the 5 years as a learning experience. It hasn't been wasted. Confront your fiance, cut your losses, and move on. If she cheats on you now, she'll continue to cheat on you after you're married.

reddawndiva2

If she is cheating now it won't stop even if your married, some women need more attention, not just love from a man. She may be afraid of loosing her appeal but by you knowing what she is doing is only giving her permission to do so. I personally would not marry, its just to easy to keep it going once you start.
If you do marry her, well I wish you good luck

Just Amber

dump her. you're gonna hurt more the longer you prolong leaving. Youre going to have to start over anyway eventually because she WILL keep cheating. You'll never be able to trust her again anyway. It's better to do it now and avoid divorce procceedings and child custody situations.

Dale D

Think about this cuz.........What would SHE do to you, if the shoe was on the other foot? Dont take a ROCKET SCIENTIST!!@!

Froggy

Oh hell no. I understand the feeling of wasting 5 years of your life...but, what would you feel if you realized that you wasted your entire life with someone who did not respect, love, or honor you the way that you deserve?!

Julie-Anne

do u actually know she cheated or is this in your head? I would be sure you are right about this first.

ms strawberries

Well I feel like If she didn't want to throw away that 5 yrs. she wouldn't have cheated on you. Obviously she dont give a f*ck about you or you alls relationship. Even though I know it hurts, You should just leave her alone.

stomp65

Sorry to hear you are having this issue.
Relationships are can have problems, it sounds as if you may a deeper problem then most.
A few questions back to you.
Are you sure she is cheating and it is not just a misunderstanding?
If you are sure, How has your relationship been for the last 6 months?( Has anything happened between you and her that may have pushed her away?)
I guess if she really has cheated on you and you know it for sure , why would you stay with someone who has cheated?
No matter what has went on between you and her there is know good reason for cheating on someone.
If you had cheated would she stay with you? Most likely no.
If you stay with her will you always wonder if she will cheat again? If you answer yes then your relationship will never work , the trust is gone.
Marriage is supposed to be forever with trust and love as there foundation, you already lost trust can you ever trust her again? and how long ?
I think you need to talk to her and ask her if she has been cheating and why, and then you need think about the answers she gives and make you decision based upon what she has to say.
Everything written above, are just things to think about.
Good luck I hope it turns out to be just a big misunderstanding.

Stomp

lovetoyou

Pretty bad thing if you already have plans for wedding...A marriage must be based in truth, honesty, communication, support and a lot of things elses..Before things go forward you should tell her how do you feel and what you know....something is missing when in a couple one of the person cheat on the other, if you want to save your relationship and go for the marriage, start to ask her what is bad with her about you that makes her cheat.Dont be afraid to talk, is always better before get married, you cant have a wife if you dont trust in her.
Now to continuing the relation is only up to you.

Lrn'dTheHardWay

James...tell me that you are not going to stay & marry a cheater because you are too lazy to find another and build a new relationship....Why the hell would you settle for crap...You are worth so much more than that.....I can promise you if she is cheating you 2 have some real problems......Any problems that you have before marraige....will get twice as bad after you are married....2 messes dont make 1 clean up.....2 messes make a double mess.....Dude you cant lie to yourself about this.....Open your eyes, get off your ***, and go make yourself a wonderful life....without Cheater Girl......

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