I gave birth to my son 6 wks ago. My husband told me he loved him more than me. Was this mean of him to say?

Monie N Da Middle/where she at?

You might want to get checked out for post par-tum depression. Considering the fact that the baby is something he himself created - I'm going to say no. I'd say that baby's require a little more love. Most moms love their kids more than there mate especially while its so little, precious & needy. Be glad he said he loved the child he could be resentful of him. Would you prefer he said who's baby is this because its definetly not mine?

katydint

No, not mean. I think he was simply overwhelmingly in love.
(you can understand that, right?)

Crystal LeeAnn

Here is where so many people screw up their marriages.

When two people get married, they become one. They have to take care of each other first. They have to make sure the needs of each other are met first. When they do, they keep the home happy. In a happy home, there are happy children.

When one spouse puts the children first, they will in turn start to neglect the other spouse. Then, someone is not happy, feelings start getting hurt and nerves are on edge. Then, the home is not happy and neither are the children.

Reference: Try looking it up in the Bible. God speaks of this many times. Why do you think he said the two shall become one. Also, read the story of Ruth. The same goes for the spouses.

Kiki from K-town

i dont think it was mean, in fact i think most mom's feel this way about their own children, its just that a woman would never openly say this. i think you should look at it on a positive side, the love that your husband has for your son will inspire him to do all that he has to to keep your family together. you may be going through postpartum depression

cute redhead

no lol dont you love your son more than you love your husband? i love my kids more than i do mine and lol he knows it and i would expect him to love the kids more than me. but lol after the kids i better be his #1

Panda

The love one feels for their husband / wife is a much different type of love that they feel for their children.

When kids ask their parents who do they love more... how can you possibly answer that. Don't you love your parents a much different way than you love your spouse?

There are many many different flavors of love, children are a unconditional type of love, while spouses are more of a earned respected type of love.

Don't fret over it, unless you have been having issues in your marriage that would make you feel otherwise. It sounds like a comment that was taken out of context pretty quickly.

DidoDeeDee

It's the age old question, "Should the marriage be put before the children?"
Luckily for most of us it isn't like you have to choose!
But quite frankly, I believe if you put your marriage first your children will have a secure home to grow up in and great role modeling for a marriage.
I think the high divorce rate is due, in part, to the fact that it is more trendy and fashionable for couples to put the kids first in this day and age.
Bear in mind that both the marriage and the kids are very important and nothing should come before your kids needs... I just think they NEED parents that put the marriage first as both the cornerstone and the hub of the family.

fun0lover

he was probly just caught up in the excitment of having a new baby but im sure he loves u just as much if not more. you gave him that baby

Italian-Irish Boy

i think he was overjoyed

im mean like the baby is super cute

Cool Chic

no, hopefully you love your son more too

Veronica

well not really...don't you love your son in a way you love no one else? a parents love is a strong unbreakable love. and men dont say that. they say yeah its like i love him more than you. not i love him in a different way. i wouldnt let it get to you. i think he meant nothing "mean" by it.

Nicky

I don't think so, the bond between parent and child is very strong. He hopes that your relationship remains strong and lasts, he knows that his relationship with his son is for the rest of his life, regardless.

maverick

Don't take it the wrong way. You are a great woman for bringing a child in this world. Don't let this interfere with the bonding of your baby boy. By the way Congratulations!!!!!

Watching in Westminster

First off, Congratulations to you and your husband. I assume this is his first child. I can only imagine that is why he said such a thing. Becoming a parent for the first time is a very emotional thing. I can't put into words, for those that don't know, how it changes your life and makes you feel. It's a new form of love that you didn't know you had in you. It's an awe inspiring kind of love. He is very emotional right now as I'm sure you are. I'd excuse him and be thankful that he loves your child as much as he does. A lot of woman would love to trade places with you! There are men out there that don't feel that connection with their babies. Best of luck and God bless.

Sam

golebara

No, I don't think it's mean of him to say that he loves your son more than he loves you.

My wife gave birth to our daughter last year and I love them both. Although if asked I do say that I love my wife more than my daughter, it does not mean that I don't love my daughter.

From a parent perspective, your child is the product of your love with your partner and often reflects you and your partner. I think for a man to say that he loves his child more than his wife, he is also saying that he loves his child more because he loves you.

~D~

Generally, the husband is the one that feels left out of the loop. We, as mothers, tend to leave our husbands out when we have a new baby. It's kind of strange that he feels that way and not you. And it may seem like he loves the baby more than you, but you should be at the same level of the baby or higher this works vise versa as well. It's very important to keep a healthy, loving relationship with your husband to keep the family life happy and fulfilling.

So, I guess to answer this question, I don't think he was trying to be mean, he just feels some intense feelings for someone like he's NEVER felt before.

Pebbles

No, there is a special bond between a man and his son.

I know my husband loves our son more than me. That is what makes him the great father that he is.

happydawg

If your not giving your husband any attention and over doing it with the new baby, your husband feels left out and is probably feeling neglected.
You need to realize without him, the baby wouldnt be possible and give him some attention before he really gets wicked.
Of course 6 weeks after you have a baby, your not exactly feeling romantic, so fake it girl.
You'll see, a little attention and affection will get you a long way in his heart. He loves you. He just feels ignored and un appreciated. He is competing for the attention your now giving this new baby. He feels left out.

Brodie Wood

well I mean.. I don't think so, it's your baby after all?

Koada

It's really weird how he just said that to you. Confront him on it. My mom always says that she doesn't love anyone as much as she loves me. I thnk it's not that she doesn't love anyone else, it's just that I'm her kid and that kinda makes her love fo me unconditional. You know?

Rain

Your stressin over nothin sweetie!

Let me ask you this,
the love you feel for your new born child, is it stronger then the love between you and your husband???

Not that he loves you less. Just that your son deserves all the love in the world and then some=)

If I had to choice between my kids or my husband (god forbid that happened) My children are closest to my heart and will always be.

Take care and congrats!!!

creative0877

his meaning is that he really love him more than u because ur son hav both of urs quality, ur quality and ur husband quality, ur son is part of urs so ur husband's love become double for him.

Christina

Don't get me wrong its wonderful that he loves his son so much. but u need to focus on each other as well. try to make some time for just the two of you. family is about balance. u cant put all of your love into one person.

Horse Up

Gosh, dont be so selfish! Hes just overwhelmed with the baby! Be glad he cares. He still loves you. Just let him enjoy! Gheez!

sunny

ok I know I will probably get a lot of thumbs-down for this but....

I have heard a lot of women say that but never a man. I think it's accepted in our society that the children come first and are supposed to be your number one priority even over your spouse and that you love them more than anything or anyone in the world. I personally couldn't imagine ever wanting to not feel for my husband that he is the one I love most and value most in the world so I'm not sure if I want to have kids, in case it changes things. I'm happy to love him more than anyone in the world and wouldn't want anything or anyone to take away from that.

There are cultures where this is not the norm as I discovered at university where I met people from a lot of different countries and in a heated class debate I was the only American born that agreed with them and understood their view of things. I must have just been born to the wrong one according to my own personal values.

betty b

Blood is thicker than water. His son is a part of himself. you shouldnt be jealous of that.

boxinghelena101

I think so.

Tracella

I think that he is completely in love with you, and feels a new love for your guys son & mabey b/c it is diffrent & new he just expresses what he felt at the time being... I know that loving your child and your partner is equal love. It takes love to make a child. I think it was with the best intentions! Good luck!

Bleu Diamond-Phillips

That was an insensitive thing for him to say.

William Y

well, we can't really gauge the tone over the internet, but there's a good chance it was a joke, and if not a joke, just something an emotional father choked up without real consideration. Love doesn't really come in "amounts". If someones in your family you often love them unconditionally, regardless of what you might say, I can't gauge who I love "the most" in my family. I'd do anything for any of them. If your relationship is strong I wouldn't let something small like that bother you.

romeoandzeus

Wow, I guess I'm the only one that thinks that comment was ridiculous?? I realize everyone loves their children but to say it in that way to the woman that just gave birth to your child? I would be hurt if my husband said that to me! The love between a husband and wife is a lot different than the love you have for your child. I love my Husband immensely and I love my son immensely. I WOULD NEVER COMPARE. That's not something you say, it was insensitive.

gunnygurl

In your case, you sound more like you are being neglected emotionally by your spouse. If the only reason he married you was to get a son, and his attitude says you are no longer important, kiss your marriage goodbye. You were a broodmare, and yes you should be offended. He sounds like an insensitive clod. He got what he wanted. Which was a son. I doubt he would feel that way towards a daughter. Don't waste your time or your body eating for comfort, find a healthier way, and if he still continues to ignore you, you know where you stand with him. Take care of yourself and your son. Whatever you do, be a good mom, forgive yourself for mistakes you make, and do what you have to in order to enrich your life. You do deserve it. Congratulations on your son.

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