I got into an arguement with my wife and need advice.?
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I got into an arguement with my wife and need advice.?
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I was driving a car with my wife next to me and her mother in the back. Her mother does not speak English and has only been in the states for a few weeks. I went to make a lefthand turn and cross over into the area with broken lines to turn and my wife said that I could not cross into that area to turn, though there is no other way to be able to turn, and the broken lines in that case allow for it. She became very upset and said that I put her and her mother in danger, though there were no cars there and if any were, they would not have been in that lane anyway, coming from the other direction. My wife, who is also not for this nation, went off on me and insisted that I turn around to the spot so that she could point out what i did wrong. We went back to it and I showed her that it is okay to turn there and that you have to go through the other lane to turn and that the broken lines let you go into the shopping center we wated to get in to. She refused to admit that she was wrong. I have admitted being wrong so many times over the past 6 years and she has never admitted it once. I don't care if she ever does, she just got so upset that I questioned her and pointed out that it was okay to turn there. She curse me and was angry with me and i asked her very politely to stop ten times. Her mother even asked her several times to stop. After about 20 minutes, I raised my voice because I could not take it and told her that she could drive. she said "F... me" and then I let her drive. I told her that I sorry if I made her uncomfortbale, but that it was wrong of her to get upset like that. That was last night. this morning, I looked into the rule book on line and pointed out that it was okay to to make that turn and asked her why she had to get so upset with me and asked her to apolgize for it. She said, "alright, you're right. I'm sorry you f...ing ahole." She was about to leave with her mother to go shopping at the mall. She said this to me as she was closing her car door. Her mom can't understand this. I grabbed the car door and asked her why she said this--why she is so upset to be wrong for once in six years and to be mature enough to be sorry for yelling at me for 20 minutes in front of her mother, though she was mistaken for why she had become so upset with me. She is a backseat driver from hell and she is not a very good driver. she has been in three car accidents in the past few years and I do like 99% of the driving when we are together. I know she told her mother things that weren't true and that her mom does not understand. When she yelled at me in front of her mother--that was cool with her, but when after 20 minutes of asking her nicely to stop, it was not cool for me to raise my voice so that she would listen. She never listens to me. She just curses and yells and ignores me, even if I have a good point. I'm so tired of the one-way conversations, which aren't at all. she said that i broke her mother's heart to yell at her and to hold the car door while she was getting in. All I wanted was for her to say "I'm sorry that I yelled at you in front of my mother and that I'm sorry I did not listen to you when you asked me to stop yelling at you and cursing at you 10 times." Or just a simple, I'm sorry. I told her that it is wrong to curse me and to just leave. Anytime, I'm wrong or she thinks I am, I have to listen to hours of yelling and cursing. When she is wrong, she just leaves or gets more angry. No one can be right always and the other one is always wrong. This does not seem right. She yelled at me when I said that she should not leave until she makes this right in this case, and again she said, I'm sorry you ahole. We then got into an aqurement and she said that I was making her mother cry and for me to stop--though she was screaming at me for all of the neighbors to here and I was just talking to her. she said that I made her scream and that I should stop. I asked why I should stop when she refused to stop yelling at me the night before after 10 kindly-stated requests. Then she really went off on me and said that she does not love me and is only using me. I feel like she has to always be right, even when she is not, she will do anything to hurt me just to show that she is not wrong instead of just saying "I'm sorry" In six years she has never said this for any reason and I have said it hundreds of times. I'm tired of this. Yes, I did yell at her, but only to get her to stop screaming at me after 20 straight minutes. For her to say that I broke her mother's heart for yelling at me seems messed up beyond belief to me. I felt horrible for her to berate me in front of mother and just wanted her to stop--enough is enough. I told her I was sorry if she felt unsafe and so on and there was no reason, she just does not know well how to drive in this nation and assumed something that was not true. She could not just drop it and then after putting though all of that, she could not admit that she was wrong or b
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twatllama
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I am guessing you are in your middle to late 30's, I have no idea how your marriage lasted so long. This woman is just vile, she seems to have the same complex of another woman I know. Eventually your wife will tear apart your entire family in the form of grief, rejections, baratement, you're in for a lot man. |
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Jesse B.
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How did such a nice man end up with a horrible girl? |
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spiritwalker
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to long to read, but I got the jest of it. If you want to show your wife who was right, take her back to that turning area, Park some where safe, but visible to see the turning lanes, and sit. When other cars make their turn, Simply tell her Case Closed. No arugements needed. |
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MyMashComments.Com
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sounds like you have a power hungry wife and it wont get better. at one point in the relationship , you gave up the pants and now she knows she can walk all over you.
You need to man up and going back for her to show you what you did wrong , is stupid. If you guys cant be friends and talk things normally , then you have no business being married.
Getting along is key and it doesnt sound like shes your match. Me personally wouldnt allow anyone to talk to me like that. you need to have self respect and shes being a bully. your just letting her get away with that type of attitude. |
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T.
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You are not getting what you want out of this. So, why fight her? State what your expectations are to your wife. There is not one person in the world who can run over you unless you allow them to. The fight doesn't concern me as much as her degrading you. Why would you allow someone to treat you with such ill respect? If she cannot be nice, leave until she can face the facts that either she can start being nicer or you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are! |
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midnightrambler
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Next time, tell them you'll be right back...get into your car and leave for a few days, like go fishing. Then come back, if it persists, get yourself a great attorney. Always smile! |
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KD
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You will have to either
1) stand up for yourself and refuse to be treated that way;
2) divorce her and find someone you can be happy with; or
3) be miserable.
The choice is yours. |
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bella
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well what's the question;). Anyways, you both are wrong and it is stupid for you and your wife to keep this fight up. Maybe, when it's not a sore subject anymore, you and her can sit down and have a nice chat. I think what you are really mad about is the fact that she has a problem with saying sorry for anything.......you should tell her that's why you mad and it's not about proving her wrong or right! |
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Jasmine La Maravilla
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leave her |
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meesh
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Is she unhappy here? It sounds to me like this is not a relationship, but a dictatorship. Do you ever just talk to each other? Do you have fun together? Ever? If not, then you may have to face that this is the not the best relationship for you to be in. A relationship is built on love, respect, caring, consideration, trust. I don't hear much of that in your words, at least not coming from her side. Why would you want to stay with someone who treats you so poorly? Asses your situation, try to find the pros and cons of staying in this, and then make a decision. Best of luck to you. Nobody deserves to be treated badly. |
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themrmike
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let her drive and you take a nap in the back seat.
if she does not /will not drive she has no place to tell you how to.
on another note i suggest you look for the exit from this toxic relationship.
tmm |
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cristelle R
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it sound s like you have married a self centered woman who obviously did not marry you for love. She sounds like a Mommy's girl and has no respect for your feelings. You should sit her down and tell her that marriage is a 50/50 share and you are not getting your share and you feel like a chauffeur and a caregiver not a husband. STand up and talk to your wife and demand some communication and if she does not like it she should go live with her mother |
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RitzCracka
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Her attitude to you sounds poor, if you don't mind that and want to stay with her then you'll probably just have to give in on an argument every so often, even if she is wrong.
Sounds like this could be a theme with your marriage of trying to win arguments with eachother about anything and everything. |
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amimuhf
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sometimes it's just easier to say "yes dear" |
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Eric
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Do you feel better now that you have written this out?
If you have a Reader's Digest version, perhaps someone will read all of it. |
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caretaker
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her mom was in the back seat
her mom was the one that made her nervous
consequently she took it out on you
so I will say I am sorry for her
try to understand the stress she is under |
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thuc_
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holy s.. that's really long.
anyway i would just recommend you to apologise and buy her a bunch of flowers. and if you don't mind her weight yet get her some chocolate too.
we love these things |
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