I hate my husband, but don't want to...?

Dr. Killabitch K.I.Aâ„¢

marriage counseling...and perhaps a short term separation

deborah g

How does he feel about you?

Sounds like you need some counseling.

tesla_morris

Hate is still passion, indifference is the end of a marriage.

DC Maximus

Pray for the hate to go away. And, talk it out with your husband.

tanner

First you need to figure out why you feel this way about him?

Are you spending too much time together? Do you just not love him anymore? Is there too much stress in your life right now? Or could you possible be depressed? You need to look into what's causing the way you are feeling, then you can work on it from there.

best wishes

RickJaymz

Honestly, it sounds like you are being selfish and marriage is anything but selfish. You should try to please him not yourself and vice verse. I would recommend you go on a date and get back to your roots of when you got married. Then, everyday do something that will make him happy. For some reason, when you take the focus off of yourself, and place it on your partner, those feelings are not only reciprocated, but your animosity fades.

you could always make it look like an accident.

mandypandy

Go on a holiday by yourself for a week or so. Who knows you might miss him?!

Does he help you around the house? You might be getting annoyed at him because he's lazy.

Sit him down and have a chat. If he changes, reward him for his good behaviour. Make his favourite meal or buy him a carton of his favourite beer!

Sometimes you need to treat men like pets. They're kind of like puppies and can be naughty sometimes.

Bobbert

It sounds like you have fallen out of love with your husband....That's okay. Its not the best thing in the world but sometimes it happens. Does that mean you need to get divorced? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I heard it said like this once "Its not your love that keeps your marriage together, its your marriage that keeps your love together". You made a vowel on your wedding day and everything short of abuse and adultery can be fixed. My suggestion would be to see someone, a professional. You need to learn how to fall back in love with your husband. Don't give up!

Rebecca W

Oh just do the poor guy a favour and let him go. He deserves to be with someone who loves and respects him.

tincan62

hey come over and we can talk about it

rsriram_1999

get hold of yourself. Note the things that irritate the most and write in detail about them. discuss

ringocat22

Pick up the book 'The Love Dare', by Stephen Kendrick. You can get it here: http://www.outreach.com/print/DetailPage.asp?R=9497&sourcecode=08W243

Do each day, a day at a time, and see if your feelings change.

DigitalDM

You both need to be willng to meet in the middle. Find out what it is that i bothering you about him specifically and see what can be done about it. Counseling is definitely the first step. A lot of medical insurance providers will pay for counseling, I found that out when I needed to go through it.

Jumping to the divorce card is way to easy, working it out will give you the best answers. If divorce is in your future, at least say that you attempted to fix the problem.

Space Cadet #5

Why don't you just stop hating him?

sammie m

wow how can you hate your husband

Julie H

Sit down this afternoon with a cup of hot chocolate and look at your wedding album. Remind yourself of the reasons why you married him. How you felt that day. Lots has happened between you two and it's not easily forgotten. You are likely frustrated about other things and he just happens to be right there. Think about it. Maybe it can be fixed.

indianhottie4ever

I feel that can be healthy in marriages at times because you're with your partner all day or not even that maybe you just need some time for yourself. I'm not married and will not be anytime soon so I don't know if it will justify your answer, but just tell your husband that you need some time for yourself. Maybe like a vacation or something of that nature.

KingAndrew

You need counseling, to learn to deal with your disorder. Then you can work on the marriage if at that time you still feel the need to. Good luck.

Missamanda :)

if you hate him that much and treat him horrible he's probably just as miserable as you are..if not more! you should get divorced so he can find someone who loves him, and you can find someone who you love.

blue_girl

Some type of counseling might be able to help you overcome these negative feelings. Every day try and think of at least 3 positive things about your husband and make an effort to do something special for him or compliment him. These small steps could help start making things better.

Birdgie

JUST RELAX, AND THINK CALM.

MAYBE ALL YOUR FEELINGS IS SOMETHING HORMONAL, TEMPORARILY, DRINK LESS COFFEE, DRINK CAMOMILLE, AND YOUR IRRITATED MOOD WILL CHANGE, AND YOU WILL BE MORE PATIENT WITH YOUR HUSBAND.
MARRIAGE IS FOR GOOD AND BAD THINGS NOT ONLY THE BEST OF THIS WORLD, REMEMBER THATÂ¡Â¡Â¡

Christina C

Why did you get married in the first place???????
If you don't like him and the sight of him disgust you there is nothing that can change that. What happened that made you feel this way? Did he cheat on you or something??
If you aren't happy in your relationship and your making him unhappy maybe you should consider a divorce. Sometimes things aren't meant to be. Or if you really love him and aren't sure why you are acting that way try counseling.

pinkpumpkinz

sometimes despite what you want you cant disregard the feelings that you have and sometimes we just fall out of love with the person that we married. i would say personally that if you have those strong feelings toards him you should just call it a day, the only other solution that i could suggest is that you attend marriage guidance but i personally feel that basically the answer is coming from you

mnegretita

figure out what exactly about him bothers you and makes u hate him. its probably that ur getting tired of him and maybe its your problem that you wish ur life would've gone a different direction or it isn't how u pictured it. figure out the roots of the problem and it will help you find answers to allow you to resolve the situation. whether it be going against your beliefs on divorce or making the relationship work. either one will definitely make you happy. if it has to be divorce don't be afraid to go back on ur word because you made the presumption before being married and knowing what its like... the cliche never say never comes to mind... so we shouldn't judge what we don't know, good luck

biogardener

There has to be a reason why you hate him. Did you love him when you got married? If so, when did your feelings change. Did you change or did he? If you can't figure it out, I guess a counsellor will have to help you with it.

Pamela D

I would sit down and make a list of everything that bothers you about him. And have him do the same, you never know he may have a lot of pet peeves towards you as well. Then go over them with together and discuss ways to go about changing those habits. Also make a list of the things you love about him. And if you cant think of anything recent then think about the past things you used to love, or even write down the things you wish he would do for you.
Another idea which may seem silly but my parents who have been married for 35 years did this last year. They went to one of those couples weekends, they discuss ways to re-connect with eachother and that really helped them to get back on the same page.

Anyways...I hope things work out!!!

joann j

You need to get out of there. Maybe if you part from you for awhile you'll start missing him. If you don't start missing him then go to a divorce lawyer. You can't live with a man that you hate. It will only get worse and the hatred more if that's possible. I bet you didn't date him long before you married him. That happens a lot. You've got to go with a person long enough to know how they really are inside. If you had gone with him long enough, you would have known sooner that you hate him and then there wouldn't have been a marriage.

Bride to be

I just got done reading an excellent book the other day. It's called the 5 love languages and in this book it goes through 5 different love language and discuss how each person has a different love language and when our spouse isn't speaking your love language your love tank starts to lower and in time if you never receive your language your tank will be empty and you will feel angry, sad, resentment, etc. A lot of the time your spouse has no idea what your love language is and they try to show you love through what there love language is and most of the time you don't have the same one. also, in the look he has a chapter on the same thing your going through. This person was feeling hurt, angry, resentment, etc. but wanted to fix things. she went to his office and he gave her an experiment to do. He told her to try and figure out his love language and start speaking it, such as doing things for him in his love language, in time he started to show it back to her. You should definitely read this book, it can tell and show you more then i can write and tell you. It has been known to save thousands of marriage, you should give it a try and read the book!

Hope this helps!!

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