I hate my soon to be ex-husband...?

onekoolkat_31

There is a fine line between love and hate...you had so much love for him, and now you feel as though he has thrown it and you away....so the intense love turns to intense hate....remember forgiveness is Devinne...and just because we forgive, doesn't mean we forget.....Never act on an impulse....maybe take some time for yourself, and reflect....remember this is pro bally something to do with him, and has nothing to do with you.....

A B

Go get counseling and remember the BEST REVENGE is to lead a good life! You have to be strong for that baby now.

georgia k

You have to accept the fact that he is messed up and its obviously going to be his loss. You will come together mentally one day at a time... its always healthy to vent your anger considering you just had a baby. easier said than done, but stay strong

e1337

I'm sorry about your situation. Things will get better. Find something to take your mind off of it.
Best of luck I hope things get better.

Nodor

Well it may be hard right now, but just think that every day after today will be a little better. Spend your time with your child, and enjoy the fact that God gave you a healthy baby. Don't dwell on things that cannot be changed, but look forward to your future without someone that would treat you liek that.

Good luck!

FalleN AngeL

I know it's hard right now but you just have to give yourself time. Try to focus all that energy onto something positive. Like your baby. Give her/him all the attention you can. Things will get better, you just have to wait it out.

Butterfly

I am going through the exact same thing. I HATE my ex husband too. You will not feel bad forever.You will feel better. He will get what is coming to him.

Kim

Remember for the baby the good things, try to tell him/her those things. Give yourself time to work through the anger. There is always a fine line between love and hate, just a matter of when we cross it. Good Luck.

Sleek

The passing of time will make it better. Resolve that he does not deserve the priviledge of being the one force in the world that dictates your happiness/sadness/anger and the type of attitude that you have. Take that power back from him by promising that you will look forward and not look back. As the time passes you won't have the urge to hurt him any longer. You must also forgive him. By doing that you give yourself freedom. Better things are ahead for you. Believe it or not.

ktray1275

this is not uncommon in a divorce

Aaron B

*I belive that every relationship you have is leading you to you re true love you re solemate so dont give up on love But forget about that looser he will one day regret what he did * Good Luck *

Your Uncle Dodge!

Counseling, and starting a new life over. You are young and will have much more chances to find joy. Let it happen by letting go of the anger.

dpwheels86

The hate and anger will turn to pity, then you will have really no feelings for him at all and you will look back and wonder what in the heck you ever even seen in him, you will be able to see all his flaws, he will look ugly to you and you will be happy to be rid of him.

happyfingers1@verizon.net

You definitely will be better off without him for all the hurt and anger he has brought upon you and your family.From what you write I think you are more hurt than anything.Understandably so.
Think of your beautiful child and all of the things that the idiot will be missing,that alone should put a smile on your face. Good things will happen to you and for you and your family and hopefully he will see it, and that will cause him hurt enough.You won't have to do a thing.Enjoy your baby and make a new new life.Like the song says ,you'll gladly take him back when you stop breathing.He should have thought about it when he was CHEATING.What goes around,comes around. GOOD LUCK to you and your family. Chin up and smile.Don't ever let him see what he has done. That's what he wants

Meep!

Try (and I know this is a marriage but regardless) a book, "It's called a break up because it's broken." As cheesey as it sounds, it's very helpful and puts things in prospective. After reading it, it was like looking at my four year ex-relationship through my best friends eyes.

Tgirl

I really hate to hear this. That is so sad. This is suppose to be a great time in your lives with just having a little baby to love. Does he seem to feel at all bad about what he did? If so; and if you could find it in your heart to forgive him; maybe you two could seek out a Christian marriage counselor to try to somehow save your marriage. If not; then know in your heart that someday he will regret what he has done and will have to answer to God for it. Goodluck to you and Congratulations on your baby.

dyersburgdelilah

It is hard to get over things once you have loved someone, but you have to look out for #1, you, Dont lower yourself down to his level, Honey tou are a better person for that.It will hurt for a while but only you can make it better, you said that you just had a baby, well devote all your time an dlove to that little wonder, it is worth it. Good -Luck

Shortstuff13

You are justified in how you are feeling right now, but hatred can only turn you into a bitter person, if you let it control you. It's hard to forget the pain of being betrayed & in time you'll be able to learn to cope with it, even if you can't completely forget about it. Just keep telling yourself how much better off you are without him. One thing that I told myself when my ex husband hurt me was: What goes around, comes around, & it always does....just give it time. In the meantime, maybe you should seek counseling, so you can learn how to deal with your pain. Be strong & keep your chin up & you'll be okay!!!

notyochic

and your allowed to feel bad!! but hate is an ugly word you should feel sorry for him cuz he probably is going to BURN IN HELL!! if you want to get back at him than be happy cuz happiness is the best revenge :)

Sari

There are many things you can do at this time to help: see a counselor, talk daily with a friend or family member, lose yourself in caring for your baby and starting a new life, pray, find a support group, find a hobby. Or do all of them.

I am so sorry that you are hurting. But you need to get control of your anger so that it doesn't destroy you. You have another little life to think about now. Be strong, you can do this. Don't let his poor treatment of you affect your quality of life now that he is gone. There will be much to adjust to, but you can do it! Good luck, and God bless!!!

itsme

You just had a baby well there is all the unconditional love in the world you need to get over this. You can't be a good mom harboring that much hatred for to long. Time heals you will recover he is a bad man and just be glad he gave you the right to go thru more relationships so that sooner or later you can learn what is like to be with real loving man that will treat you right and be with you forever and it will come sooner or later. As for sooner focus on your child they can feel your pain it can form there personality you don't want that you. It is OK to feel this way trust me I have baby in tow to, but get over it and move on soon or it could effect you and your child's life forever.

Diet_smartie

The best revenge is to pick yourself up and get back to life. You just got rid of the worst thing that ever happened to you so it's time to make room for the good things to come. You can't do that if you're still letting him occupy your mind. Even though the experience was horrible you now have a little baby to look after so try not to regret what's happened because that baby came out of it. Hope it all works out for you.

matowakan58

I can,t think of any pain more terrible than being betrayed by someone you love,and I'm sorry you have to face this time.I would,nt wish this on anyone . i know you hear this all the time. Time heals all wounds.my experience has been that time dulls the wound.I had to let God heal it totally.If you pray start right now.pray for the strength you need to do whats right for yourself and your child.find someone to talk to about your feelings and keep talking till it,s finally out of your system. this can be a counseler, a pastor ,a friend.
now this is going to freak you out. each time you have thoughts of anger and resentment towards him say "I forgive you ______.)
if you have a relationship with God turn him over to God,s care. this isnt for him, it,s for you.cause you,re refusing to hold on to the hurt and resentment that will eventualy poison you. talk and write and cry about your feelings dont hold on to them.
blessings.><> ><>

justanotherengine

Just move on, now you are with the other 50%

"Hate" only hurt's the "Hater" !

walker9842

The thing to keep in mind is that baby feels everything you do. So if you want it to be stressed you stay stressed.
Your finally out of a bad situation, h$ll you should feel lucky, some women can't get out. Where would you be then?
You want to keep in mind he didn't just wake up and become what you hate you picked him. So now you should reflect on what it is you did and didn't like before moving onto the next man.
And, yes I know there won't be another man for a long time, but never say never. What you need to do is concentrate on caring, providing a home for and loving that baby.

Hope this helps, email me if you need too.

beccasmom99

I know it feels this way now, but give it time. I was in the same situation. Right after my daughter was born my ex started cheating. He even moved away with this girl, putting our child on the back burner. I was angry and hurt for so long, but eventually I had to realize that he could've card less how much I sat around crying. It took some time, but I eventually realized that I had built this brick wall around me and convinced myself that I was happy. Once that wall was taken down and I was forced to live w/o him - I realized, I wasn't happy. I also realized that even if he were to come back - I'd never be able to trust him again. I'd always wonder why he was going, who he was with, and if he was telling the truth. I'm better off and happier without him - in time, i think you will be too.

Husker41

Make up your mind to forgive him ... and forgive yourself, too. Part of your anger probably comes from knowing that however good you were, you weren't quite perfect.

Once you have decided to forgive ... see a counselor and let her help you work it out. It will take time.

Visualize where you want to be in three years, living a better life, and work toward that.

Hating is worse than a waste of time - it can corrode your own soul. Don't let that happen. You have everyone's best wishes for a happier life. Go get it!

Dovey

You need to remember the person he became and forget the person you only thought he was! Do not let yourself dwell on the false memories because he was not himself, but someone unreal. The best medicine is to think about the bad part of him since he hurt you.

mari

i went thru the same thing as you. my husband was cheating on me with a co-worker when our baby arrived. my mistake was that i did not get a divorce and decided to stick it out. the result was that i neglected our baby while i did everything to make him happy, he still carried on with the girl. you do not hate him but you are hurt. you need to get away with the baby for a while so that you can step away from from this negativeness. go to a family member or stay with a friend. you need time and space need to heal. counseling helps. i no longer trust my husband and i am very unhappy. the problem is that my baby is 4 now and loves dad. so i have to pretend i am okay when i am not for the baby's sake. you will be happier without him. but take care of your lovely baby and yourself. enjoy the moments with your baby. they are wonderful little beings.

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