I have been cheated on! I cant get over it! Should i say my goodbys to him! hes really a good father and mate?

heehawa

It's not really the idea of "once a cheater, always a cheater" that you should be concerned with. It's not 100% true at all times - some people DO clean up their acts. You just have to assess for yourself who you think this guy is? Is he a lifetime moron or a one-time moron?

The real issue is this: will you ever trust him again? It's VERY hard to gain your trust back and most people just can't do it. Can you, for sure? If you can't, then save yourself the trouble now - because it will just get dirty if the trust is gone and you continue to be with this man (and think about the environment your kids will be in as well).

Good luck and remember that just because you love someone, doesn't mean that you have to be with them.

vanedlett

Well your situation is a difficult one, but if you cant forgive him then yes you definitly need to let him go!

jdavisauto

he did it once he will do it again, only only know of this time he cheated on you. How many more times that you don't know about?

shonnie

dump that zero!

Uh-May-Zing

If he were a really good mate, then he wouldn't be a cheater. Thats an oxymoron. Move on!

Uncle John

If the cheating was his idea, he might do it again. If it was the other girl's idea, maybe he wont. But if you think it was his fault, not hers, leave him. Other wise, don't!

djgirlkimber2001

I was cheated on by my husband right after we had our first child together. It was a major blow. I decided to give him another chance. It has been a little over 2 years now and I still have trust issues but he has been faithful since. It is very hard and I do hope in the end it is all worth it. Things are finally starting to get back to normal. All I can say is it takes time. If you really love him give him a chance but don't make the same mistake twice.

snowbunnie343

ditch him. he's a cheater and he doesn't deserve you. -.-

sameasyou

He's not a good anything at the moment,especially a mate,and he should just about be finished packing his bags girl,as you will never fully trust him again,and love is built around trust,respect and by cheating he has little respect for you,and integrity and he has none what so ever.
Get over him and find someone like me,who never cheats,treats women better then i do myself and loves to sit for hours discussing what the future has for us.

kiki_t

leave if you can't get over it. If you feel like he will do it again then you don't need to be in that relationship.

sassyp80

The only answer is; Do you love him even after what he has done? If you do and you think you can get over it with some help and some time and you guys talk about it then you should do whatever your heart tell you. If you can't see it working out or you getting over it then say goodbye, he can still be a good father not living in the same house. It all depends on how he feels about it and how you feel about it. Both of you need to talk about it or talk to someone else about it and resolve whatever problem there is.

Toya

girl say good bye

shywoman

He can still be a good father but he can't be a good mate if he has cheated on you. I don't understand women who think so little of themselves as to stay just because he is a good father and everything you need as far as material things is provided for, please think more highly of yourself than that, you can make a living and provide for your children just as well as he can. Get child support and move on with your life, find someone who will be good to you and NOT cheat on you.

whitney

He isn't that fantastic, if he was he wouldn't have cheated on you. He's done it once, if you stay with him he'll do it again. Dump him. But let him remain being a father since he's so good.

Pete

I kicked someone into touch for the same thing. Be polite and kick him into touch. If he comes back after a while you will probably have many years together. No harsh words though - You might regret them.

G-man

No if you love him just see if you can work it out and maybe it was just a one time thing if not then you have no choice but to leave him unless you want to get even that's up to you.

paul

ITS HARD TO GET OVER SOMEONE!! I DID WHEN MY WIFE CHEATED ON ME. I WENT TO COUNSILING FOR 1 YEAR ,TRIED TO LIVE WITH HER AGAIN BUT IT COULDN'T BE THE SAME ANYMORE!!!!
THERE IS SO MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT WOULD LOVE TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIVE AND CHERISH YOU!!
I MET A BEAUTIFUL GIRL , WE GOT MARRIED AND JUST BUILT A NEW HOUSE TOGETHER!!
JUST LEAVE HIM [ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO GET OVER ] BUT SEEING OTHER PEOPLE WILL HELP YOU!!
GOOD LUCK!! AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!

bravo95165

if he's a good father now he should be a good father when the two of you are not together...but don't tell me he's a good mate because if he was you would not be asking this question...not all of us are cheaters but i can guarantee you that if you let him get away with it he will do it again....because then he'll know that no matter what he does you will forgive him...you deserve better, so dump his *** and go out and find you a good man that will give you exactly what you need and deserve...A FAITHFUL MAN...

julianna_NY

I think you answered your own question within your question. You said, "I can't get over it!" You need to ask yourself if you will ever get over it, or will you always be thinking about it. If you don't think you'll be able to trust him anymore, then it's time to end it. There are a ton of other guys out there who will be great fathers and mates, and won't cheat!

chlschr

If you come to think of it, we are all vulnerable to temptation in one way or another and we all have our own falls in life.

All said, I am not suggesting that you blindly just overlook his mistake and let it go.

You say that he's a good father and good mate too. So I would only suggest that you weigh the pros and cons properly before arriving at any decision.

At times you need to forgive and let go of hurt. But that should only be done after you're very sure that he's not taking you for a ride.

It could just also be possible that he really repents of his mistake and wants to make it up to you. If that is the case I guess you would not just want to lose it all without a good enough thought. Also in such a case it would also not be right to brand him as a â€œcheaterâ€ for good.

So try and gauge his sincerity and make sure that he's not just pretending for the simple reason of being the accused and his fault coming out in the open. You are a family and sooner or later you will surely come to know through his behavior if he really is repenting or not.

After that decide whether or not you can and want to forgive him.

All the best.

sorrells316

,he doesn't deserve it, but, the kids do, so, let them tell him goodbye for you. you need closure, so, you can move on.

Tollguy

You need to consider that when we ask cheaters to get better, they sometimes just become better liars.

If you want to stay together, you need two plans in place.
1) A plan of forgiveness. How do you forgive him, and not throw it up in his face when he does the simplest thing wrong.
2)A plan of abstinence for him. Why did he wander, and how will he prevent that from reoccurring.
If your happy with the plans, then keep you mate, because it is hard to find someone who makes us feel special......
If you aren't happy with the plans, let him go. But don't neglect to consider professional help in formulating the plans. If you need him to attend, the attending should be compulsory for him, otherwise it indicates he is not interested in your welfare.

kimbermalloy

EVERY girl i know stayed with a cheater regretted it-they do it once-they will again

geet840

If you really truly cant get over it then you should leave him. If you cant leave it in the past then there is no reason trying to pursue the realationship any further. How can a marriage last with out trust and with all that hurt lingering in the air?

tats

he cheated 1s he will do it agine yall dont have 2 stay 2gather 4 him 2 b a good father..He can still b a father...

queen_chocolate_beauty

let him see his kids on the weekend but tell him he can kiss your *** goodbye. that's what i would do.

smethansmee

try a trial seperation

girlthatgotaway

the guy that said "once a cheater always a cheater" is right... plus i dont think youll ever gain that trust back you know?

kris

I was with my partner for 15 years, 8 years ago she had a 3 year on off affair with a man, then ended it and wanted to get back with me, very silly but i met a lovely girl broke her heart and got back with her, we had another child and for 5 years it was great, well not great i always wondered why she done it and i got the same old story he showed me attention when i needed it. ( i was a very loving with her ) then this year on my sons birthday i caught her with the same guy.. I couldnt believe it..it was harder this time than last time, because in my mind things were good...clearly not. Its been a month now and they are now in a relationship, i have decided to walk away as i have wasted enough time and if im honest im just not willing to fight for her again. My advice would be just walk away and give someone else a chance to give you all the love and attention you will ever need, no one deserves to be cheated on, I made a mistake and i cant get them years back now and i have to rebuild my life all over again. i loved this girl and she was always going to hurt me and i let her, she now talking of moving my kids 40 mile so that she can be with him full time. Please think long and hard and i wish you all the luck in the furture, if it was only once then it might be worth ago, but do check things out.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: