I have been with my husband 6 years married 2 years and have 2 kids. i have cheated on him before when .......

asherton

There is nothing wrong with divorce. People that say that they don't believe in divorce are crazy. Would you rather divorce him or feel the way you do for the rest of your life. Also take your kids into consideration. They are very perceptive little creatures. They can sense when moms not happy and that absolutely has an affect on them. You need to do what is right for you. I couldn't imagine continuing a life like that. You deserve better. Also you couldn't possibly love him if this is how you feel. I have never been in your situation but I can honestly say that if I was that unhappy I would get out of the situation. It might seem hard. Financially, but you can do it. Women do it all the time. But if you are going to continue with this relationship you deserve to feel all that you feel...Only you can change it.. So its up to you.. Good Luck..

banjaxed

If he was treating you like crap you should have had the nerve to get out before you cheated

cheating solves nothing

you should have left him first

now you're just as bad as he is

lisa_swarn

I think it's time for a divorce. Or maybe you are depressed. I think yopu should talk to a professional maybe they can guide you.

fairy kisses

Why did you even bother getting married? Cheating is NEVER OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

radbagm3

Whenever things don't work out for you, you go out and seek approval from others. That's exactly what you did. You have no respect for the meaning of marriage. You need to do some serious soul searching and get to the bottom of YOU! Don't blame it on anyone but yourself.

Devin

I think you should try and work things out with your husband for the sake of your kids AND for the sake of the love you obviously must have had for him at some point in your marriage. You guys should try marriage counseling if you can. It seems like you're still mad at him from when he would treat you badly. You'll need to get past that before you can see if your marriage can be saved.

bluegreen

I feel like you need to let him know your feelings.

You should consider couple therapy because he should know how you feel. It is not fair for you or him to stay in a relationship where there is no love. Do you think the relationship is worth fixing?

Black Sheep Squadron & Pappy Fan

if you keep your eye on the wrong ball, you will keep hitting that ball

so -stop the affiar

stop obsessing and rehearsing your affair

start looking for the positives of your husband during the day

***

now if he is abusive to you, then you need a way out - a way which does not involve your boyfriend

if he is physically abusive, leave him IMMEDIATELY

Anna F

live is life. Deal with it.

peace.

Q-mama

Why haven't you left yet? He's treating you badly, you're disrespecting him and yourself so..... If it's so awful and you're cheating anyway, just get a divorce and find some happiness.

xo_crystal_xo

Has your husband ever done anything to you to make you feel this way about him? Does he deserve you treating him like that?!?! It sounds to me that your not in love with ur husband anymore and want to be with the "ex". You need to be true to you and your husband. If hes not who YOU truly want to be with then you need to be honest with him. Dont live life being unhappy!

cesilia

you should be with somebody you love. if you and your current husband are not working out leave him, beacause its damaging your relationship and you

Maybe if you'd cut off all contact with the ex, you might love your husband like you're supposed to. You are treating him like he did something wrong when YOU'RE the one who cheated. Grow up and accept the responsibilities of marriage and the vows you said or get a divorce and give him the kids! Cause if your family meant anything to you, you wouldn't be cheating on your husband!

lue lue

Hi i may not now as much as some people but hunny life is to short to stay with a man ur not happy with.
yea u have two kids with him..but how do u think it will efect the kids if they kno ur not happy!
Maybe you should get a divorce an split custody..It's pretty obviouse you have feeling for the ex. So go back to him an be happy.!!..Dont spend the rest of your life pleasing other..make your self happy first!!

nikki g

Maybe you need to try to think back to the time when you were very much in love with your husband! You married him for a reason! You can't let any old fling dissrupt what you went in front of the lord and made a promise to! I have been in alot of cheating relationships but once i say "i do" it's over for all the outside things that i got/had going on! You have to put your blinders on, you know how those horeses have those blinders on there eyes so anything else around them can't keep them from doing what they are there to do, they have blinders on! You gotta put your blinders on! Forget what the world is doing, make sure your marriage is whats going on!!!!! You gotta try! My momma always says "god knows what you need but the devil knows what you like!!!!! Think first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

flashbakx76

You seriously need to seek counselling together. It may be time to end the marriage. You will end up getting angry and maybe even violent one day.

ukamate

This answer is close to what I just answered on a similar question... I have modified bits to suit you.

Infidelity is very common and mostly misunderstood because of the pain and shattered expectations at the time.

My wife and myself have both cheated and had affairs and been through all the pain and heartache attached to it, separated, repaired the damage and got back together.

The divorce courts can prove how common it is...and how destructive it has been to relationships....however in most cases even though couples blame the break up on infidelity....it is not usually the problem...its something a lot deeper...

It is the underlying unresolved emotional issues usually unrelated to the relationship (happened long b4 marriage) that is prompting the behaviour .....this is the real culprit and in most cases remains unresolved as couples are so unaware of its existence and continue dealing with the effect and not the cause...cant really blame them for that...

They get immersed in the surface muck only, thinking they are resolving the issue by divorce and punishment..... they pay out a lot of money and go through a lot of pain for themselves and everyone around them when its not necessary....

These couples, after divorce go into their next relationships carrying inside them the unresolved issues which will not just go away. The same problems come up again in their new relationships (and every other ensuing relationship they may have) and remain until the underlying issues are dealt with.

When I woman is treated like trash it can be related more to how she views herself and what she feels she is worth....and it can also be about guilt and the woman may even actually enjoy the abuse as a punishment for her feeling guilty. She of course may not be aware of this and could be confused about these fluctuating emotions within...

You could look at this part of your relationship with your husband....(my husband touch just repulses me) guilt will make you do this emotionally....so you would have to devalue your husband to yourself to ease your feeling of guilt...its not your husband you want to push away its your guilt... and he is paying for it...

To get to the bottom of this you need professional help, its too difficult to sort out with out that kind of help....it could be related to your relationship with your Dad or a male figure in your young life....

sheila s

Believe me I have been there. When my husband and I were married 9 years, my exhusband (Who'd been gone 13 years) moved 2 blocks from me. I let his daughter ride back and forth to school so she could get to know her brother. The ex went back to school so I would stay at his apartment until he got home. My heart always felt so full when we were together. When my husband touched me I cringed. Anyway, the ex was only trying to get me to drop child support charges on him. My ex met a woman on the internet and was off again. When I told my husband he told me everything is in the past leave it there. We started watching the Tyler Perry plays and movies together and they opened up alot of doors for us. We made the decision that we both wanted the marriage. We decided that it was time for us to go back to church. We decided that our marriage was worth working on everyday. I decided it was time for me to stop blaming him for everything that went wrong and take responsibility. I decided that I wanted to fall in love with my husband and I did. I concentrated on his positive qualities and ignored his negative. The ex is an ex for a reason. Concentrate on his negative qualities. Is he a cheater? He will do it again. Is he abusive? He will do it again. I had another place for my husband to go. I had utilities put in my name. i was ready for him to leave. But after everything we went through we decided that our marriage was worth saving. Any marriage is worth saving as long as both are willing to work on it. I wish you the best of luck

anna j

its fairly obvious u still love your ex. u wouldnt have cheated otherwise. i know there are kids involved but my advice would be to leave hubby asap, your feelings will proberly never change and if they do it will be a long time from now... do u wanna stay miserable forever?
for the kids sake u should leave and be with someone you truly love to be around and that makes u happy, if u are unhappy it will show to the kids and other people.
i know its easier said than done and if u cant do something to change the situation maybe u should talk to a councellor or even marriage conselling together to try to resolve some feelings.

JTK

Divorce - That is if your ex is single and would make a great dad. Other wise stay w/ the hubby you have now. Kids need a dad more than u need a husband. Just have fun on the side to keep yourself going.

DorothyGale

If you want to save your marriage you have to change the way you feel about your husband. You need to fall in love with him again. Stop thinking that you are in love with the ex, he isnt the man that you married. Try to think the way you did right before you got married. Do things for him that you know he likes. Try making him happier. I am sure that he will treat you better, and it will be easier to fall in love with him again. Think about all the things that you like about him, and try telling him some. Encourage him to tell you what he likes about you. Instead of thinking "eeeew", try replacing it with "I am lucky that he loves me so much". If you change the way that you are looking at things your heart will follow, because obviously there was something that you liked about him at one time, and those things are probably still there. You are just looking past it right now. Put all the energy into him that you are putting into thinking of how you wish that he was like your ex. It works. Forget all these other people hating on you for cheating, we can't pretend to know the whole situation. I am just saying from my own experience that it is possible to fall in love with someone after you fall out if you want it bad enough.

tab227

First off, you need to think of your kids first. What is best in their interest. If leaving him is the best thing, not only for you, but for your children as well then maybe that's what needs to be done. It's hard on children to have their parents divorced, but it is also very hard on them to see mom and dad around each other and repulse each other and not love each other (I see that so much with my own parents and how my dad treats my mom like trash and I think it would be easier to deal with if she would just leave him).
Personally I think what comes first is the best interest for the kids. And then for you, if this is the way it is, do everyone a favor and get a divorce or at least a separation to see where you are at. But don't stoop to the level of cheating, divorce him first.
-sorry you're going through this :(

loulu2u

See if you can identify exactly what your husband does when he "treats you like trash." If your husband is a person that you can talk to calmly, tell him that you don't appreciate being treated that way. If you're really just venting here It sounds like you should work on improving your marriage. Mutual respect is a great first step. Treat your husband with respect, behave in a way that garners his respect, and don't accept anything less from yourself or from him.

olivia g

You know what!....That sounds like my story. My husband beat me for years, I couldn't stand him touching me, I had this anger towards him it was just growing inside. I decided to leave him, so I saw my ex-boyfriend at a party and we started talking again, and since then we've been together for 6 years. He loves my kids like they were his, and honestly...I wouldn't trade him for nothing! You do whats in your heart...and decide whats best for u and your kids. I wish u the very best! Keep me updated!

Romell R

The reason you feel that way is because it is virtually impossible for a woman to emotionally attach herself to 2 or more separate lovers. If your husband was smart, he would definitely notice the change. You need to be true to yourself and spare your husband. No one deserves infidelity, and it's a hard thing to get over. So seek counselling, and if you still feel that way towards him... spare him such punishment. If not, then secretly spend the rest of your life making it up to him!

JohnHancock

You get what you deserve. If he treated you like trash, you should have either divorced him, separated from him, gone to a marriage counselor, or tried to fix it on your own. If you chose to go out and cheat on him instead and now it's caused confusion in your life...Good...you deserve a lot worse.

jungle j

WOW...what can i say.that does not sound good at all.do you still ove your husband? i don't think you do,especially if you cheat on him,that is just sooooo wrong.there is no excuse for cheating. I think you need to speak to a marriage guidance councilor, and maybe also discuss this with your husband.if you are not interested in saving your marriage than please tell your husband how you feel and move on.as it is not only unfair on you but also on him and your children.Give him the respect he deserves and tell him the truth.
goodluck and hope it all works out

honeykitten22

you are a f*cking tramp. instead of cheating you should have left, and that is what you should do now. your type disgusts me. and i bet it was a two street with the treating like sh*t.
you have ruined your childrens lives, your husbands life and your own. hope you are happy.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: