I have decided to tell my husband about my being unfaithful to him since I've been stationed in Iraq.?

rbenne

if your going to tell him, and you should, tell all not part, eventually the second tryst will come out as well and he will be getting it in parts.

if he can take it at all he should know it all up front. if he dumps you for it, well i wouldnt blame him

btpage0630

If you are going to be honest, be honest, don't go halfway. If you are planning on telling a lie, why tell him at all?

Or just tell him that you cheated period and let him ask the questions.

DCMitch

its not going to be fun, but u should be completely honest with him. he deserves to know.

Gene Eric Man

First you have to ask yourself what you hope to gain from telling him.

If you want the marriage to end, then by all means, tell him.

If you want the marriage to go on, but feel the need to be honest, to unburden yourself, too bad--don't tell him. If you admit what you did, one way or another, your marriage is over.

If you want to stay married, you should keep your infidelity secret and suffer in silence. You made your bed--now you have to sleep in it. You're the one who was unfaithful and dishonest, why should he suffer for it?

evilstepmonster

you have to tell him the whole truth and nothing but the truth and prepare yourself for whatever comes your way its a tough situation

mark

He is not likely to believe you only did it once , or twice for that matter. And you did it with married men so you screwed up their lives as well.

If you dont have kids then file for divorce now and dont waste your husbands time .

rcsinga

tell the truth!

julesl68

The situation will not be pretty regardless, so if you're going to tell him, you might as well give him the complete truth and get it done.

hanibal turkey

truth is alwayse best it really depends on how you think your husband will handle it he can really screw you over when it comes to legal matters. i think you are an awfull person for doing that and you give military women a bad name everywhere for that obvisously you dont love him enought to be faithful to him. and dont use i was in iraq for a year thats pathetic to do. i completely stand behind the soliders but i cant stand a poor excuse of a solider using i was in iraq so i cheated on her/him so sad!!

presleygirl

typical military ho-mabey just tell him the turth?

Truth Hurts

If you're going to tell the truth tell the whole truth!

If he doesn't know, why are you telling him now? Do you want to hurt him? Why not just straighten up and fly right from here?

tonguemyass4me

depends which std he get's first

keithleyjustin

Maybe none,unless you want a divorce. Feel sorry for your hubby,that he's married an unfaithful women. I know how hard it is to beaway from your loved one but should have been stronger than that.

Kevin J

I applaud you for deciding to be honest, but if you are going to do it, you may as well do it right and be completely honest. I really dont think it will make much difference to him if it was with one guy or two, you cheated either way.

Gerry D

I stick to my original answer. You should not tell him, but instead speak about a separation - do you plan to do all this from a far away place? Or wait until your tour is up? Since you have decided so fast - I suppose you won't even give the decency of telling him to his face.

You really shouldn't do this in this manner. A response by "Flyhasitall" listed above is the answer that I agree with most on this question. Separation can do funny things - again, no judgements here, just a suggestion to reconsider your actions of discussion on this matter.

JLynne

Well they say honesty is the best policy. I however believe if you want to stay with this guy, and are sure you will not cheat on him again, havent given him and STD and arent pregnant by another guy, there is no need to tell him. for 1, you might lose him, 2, you're def. gonna hurt him, and 3 if will ruin your relationship, trust and the way he thiks about you. Your affairs will be all he can think/talk about and ou two will fight all the time. If you still feel the need to be truthful (and I admire you if you do) I wouldnt go into details. Just tell him that while over there you were unfaithful. Doesnt matter with her, how many times, what positions... all that maters is why you did it, so I guess just be honest about that. I wouldnt tell him it was twice.

phorwanted

Are you nuts? Don't tell him about either. Live with the guilt and save the infliction of pain you want to give to him.

NQS

go by your own conscience.

Melissa C

If your going to tell him, which you should, you definetly need to just let it all out, you will feel better when you have told the whole truth. Thats a really awful thing for you to do by the way. Over there fighting for our country and you have a husband back here, waiting on you, that you promised to love and be faithful too, and while your supposed to be protecting us and the people that live there, all you can think about is getting you some. Your sick.

Pr3tty_r4ve_gir1

How did he fell about the first time?
I know thing are going to get a bit bumpy along the way but you schould tell him that you did it but when you tell him this you may want to metion that you want to be faithful with him again. Oh, and let me ask you this did you enjoy....did it mean something to you???

renosux

Make Love NOT War was intended for single unattached people. Tell him the entire truth what ever the outcome is, remember it is you that now has to EARN back his trust

Lw's Lady

Keep it to yourself,I know an you know it was wrong if you need too get this out then seek confession,ask for forgivness,pray.....it happened an who knows if he was faithful.By telling him will only make him think differently of you an your relationship will suffer.Believe me I know if you don't trust yourself that you'll do it again then your ready to leave the marriage.

Lilith

You have to ask yourself this question: Are you prepared for him to leave you? If you are, then tell him. If you're not, don't say anything at all. My best friends husband cheated on her with a woman from their church. He decided to "be a good christian" and come clean with her so that they could make a fresh start. She divorced him (as I would have). He was stunned. He thought she would forgive him. So unless you're ready for that possible consequence, I would keep a lid on it if I were you.

stepintostep

Sister since your putting the facts out there, you might as well tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you GOD! What do you think because you committed adultery once, that that is going to make you look any better, I DON'T THINK SO! So be truthful and get it ALL off your chest.

Tweety

If you're going to come clean, at least be honest about it. You'll only feel guilty if you lie about what you tell him. You might as well deal with everything at once.

luv11syng

Tell the truth,and nothing but the truth to your husband.you have been unfaithful in your marraige to him and he deserves to know that..period

m_cyberfriend

If you have strings attached to the one you had and feels like you don't feel your husband any more.. its good to say everything so that he too can move one from there and allow you to be with your desire and be with one you like to be with.. if its just by mistake and you have nothing inside to feel on the same anytime and if that is not going to happen again by any means, its OK to keep mum and enjoy a life as if nothing has happen..

Shannon V

you should be completely honest with him and tell him about both
he will probally be hurt and angry with good reason hopeful you two can work it out you may want to see a marriage counselor and talk it out. good luck

VirtueOfIntolerance

the only thing you should tell him is THE TRUTH! geez... you ever heard of the expression "the whole truth and nothing but the truth"?
That should be true of all communication in every marriage. How can someone say "I'm comming clean, but should I hide some of the dirt?"
this is sad... especially comming from someone in the military. This country is doomed if this is what comes from those whom we consider most noble and honorable of all.

resolutionary

Assuming this is a serious question...........

I would encourage you to find a counsellor first and talk it over to get a better idea about why you had the urge to cheat and how you might prevent it later - considering your husband is a forgiving man.

Otherwise, you're in a big freaking mess.

T Rom

tell him the whole truth to get it off of your mind

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