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Ammo
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It is a sad place to be - but it will get alot sadder and lonely if you have an affair. You are feeling close to this lad because he is giving you what you husband isn't. If you weren't married would you still feel the same for this other man? You need to sort the marriage out before you get anymore involved otherwise there will be 2 marriages that have been damaged. If keeping everybody else happy by staying in the marriage with a man who doesn't care is more important than your happiness then stay. You need to stand up for yourself and either work at your marriage and stay away from this other man or leave your husband who it sounds to me you should never have married in the first place. Having an affair and just forgetting the marriage is wrong - good luck |
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LC
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You shouldn't stay with anyone if you are unhappy. Who cares what people think. They aren't living your life. |
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kelsey
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So why would you make another mistake and go with a married man? You shouldn't. If you are truly unhappy leave your husband but take some time to yourself and leave this other man alone. good luck |
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Ò‰FuzzyÒ‰ - Ò‰No-NosedÒ‰ - Ò‰ChimpÒ‰
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I don't see why people are advising you to break-up, yet leave the other married guy alone... If he is unhappy in his marriage, as you are in your, and you make each other happy, I don't see why he should be left to rot, and to keep both him and his wife unhappy. It's a bit double standards of everyone, don't you think?
Sure you'll upset people, and I wouldn't roll out a new guy as the reason for ending what has turned into a poor marriage.
I can agree with the idea of trying to save your marriage, but it does sound like both of you regret doing it, so before there are any kids to hurt, bring it to an end. |
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flagger
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6 months in and already you are talking to another guy?
The problem my dear is that you were never in this marriage from the start. Just admit it is you who are going to be a cheat and quit blaming him. It would be a lot different if you were to say he does not respect me what do I do but, he does not respect me
so I'm talking to another lad.....AFTER ONLY SIX MONTHS.
Where was your long term attitude ,thats right, you didn't have one. Just go lie and cheat. Thats where this is going. |
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aunt_beeaa
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No one held a gun to your head to have you be in the situation you're in. You should've listened to your gut (2nd thoughts).
Now for the talking and getting close to someone else and that person is married------(what is wrong with you woman?) You're jumping from the frying pan to a vat of hot boiling OIL.
You need to take care of business in your marriage before you go jumping into another crappy situation! Feelings you're having for this other person isn't love---it's lust and attention and the thrill it gives you to flirt around with this other man! Dangerous territory and waters you're treading.
You sound very immature----Seek out a marriage couples counselor and talk out your problems ....if that doesn't work then end your farse of a marriage! |
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athina68
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i would consider once more and maybe give it a second chance by talking with ur husband about ...tell him how u feel and that all this changes from his behavour are making u upset and unhappy
if there will be no outcome u can think about what to do but it would be wrong to fall into another relationship this quick and especially with a married one . |
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Minxy
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I made the same mistake as you and told myself that I would
grow to love him. But just went on to hate him. Eventually I did
pluck up the courage to tell him the way I felt. I left and was so
relieved. Also I gave myself time to get over it all before I could
bring myself to date anyone. I know I did the right thing because
it just would not have been fair on either of us. Follow your own
instincts - but please don,t break up another family in your
search for happiness. |
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No_Imagination
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Firstly please don't (and i'm sure you wouldn't, but just to be sure) base you decision of what we say, its gotta be your choice.
In my opinion, if your not happy and werent before the wedding getting married was never going to be the right thing to do. Before deciding to leave you should sit down with your husband and talk about how you feel if nothing changes, i'd leave for you and nobody else. Its sounds like he's destroying your confidence and it takes along time to rebuild.
As for this new guy, getting involved with a married man is NEVER (note the capitals) a good idea you shouldnt take his word for it that he will leave his wife its not as simple as that even if he says he feels the same. Good Luck x |
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Yasmine
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u must to see what is going on, don't run from other problem and hidden your feelings to your husband and finding other one. look dear u just chose him and u must to handle your problem, not from his acting u just run away, u must to see the problem and talk to him, maybe the problem from u. |
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im a mummy 2
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no my 1st husband and myself should have split up at the start and we did'nt! if i could turn the clocks back i wish i had been strong and left! don't stay! am now with 2nd husband for 6yrs who i still adore, and he adore me! |
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SEXY JP
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do what feels right for you.
do you love your hubby?? enough to make it work if he changed??
if the answer is no to either, regardless of how many people it upsets, there is no point in staying around if you are unhappy.
life is too short for all that.
good luck |
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laney
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I think you should do what you feel like doing not what people are going to think. leave the other man alone. It will create a bigger problem. |
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michael w
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get out now you only have 1 life don't do what i did stayed with my wife for 28 years,got marred at 26 i was about to break it off then she told me she was pregnant so i got marred the day i said i do she change it was more like it don't,i regret it to this daythe only thing that came out of our marriage is my 2 sons im 54+still with her im in a rut and cant get out.in the past 2 years i have cheating on her.i wish i went with my needs then.if you have no kids get out and live your life+happy |
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Andy W
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First you leave the marraiage then you seek another relationship with someone who is free......so tat equals two people who are free to be togehter....nothing positive will come out of the situation as you describe it now. Only heartache and rebound emotions.....clean break ....clean page......then live life. |
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happywifenmom21@verizon.net
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No, don't drag him along. Tell him now before you hurt him even more then it will now. |
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Alexander R
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Everyone is in search of some answer or the other. I have recently come across a beautiful blog and the author seems to be a very noble soul. Understand his philosophies and u will get all the answer. Here is what you must read.
http://www.achieverslounge.blogspot.com/ |
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Natalie
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Yo need to make sure that your marraige is definately over before you start bed hopping. Have you changed at all? It only been a few months. If its not going to work then get out but you need to be mature in your decision. |
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Kelly B
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never stay in a situation that does not make you happy. but I do not think you should leave one man to be with another. if you leave your husband then it has to be because of things between the two of you not because of things between you and someone else. |
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datante
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Move on before it becomes a habit, 6 months, write it off as a good expierience. |
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xo_mzbeck_ox
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He treats you like **** = emotional abuse.
Leave, dont worry what the others think. Tell them everything that he has done to make you fall out of love with him. Get a divorce and move on. |
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bob
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seems like you have a real problem here.
couldn't even make the six month mark eh?
Talk to your husband, do you never discuss how you are feeling?
Tell him what upsets you, calmly without nagging, noone like a barrage of reasons why they are crap.
Put a positive spin on thing you can
This other lad only seems an option becuase you are unhappy at home |
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Lavender
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only my opinion but it don't sound like either of you were ready for the commitment of marriage. This is about you and your husband so forget everyone else and how they feel. Talk to your husband about your feelings. He might agree that you both made a mistake getting married..obviously you feel you have made a mistake. both of you have to either put 100% into working on the problems or end the marriage. |
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OLU
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u knew what you were getting in to in the first place because u said u shouldn't had married him, now u have, try and work it out, talk to him about it and see how it goes, been married for 10yrs and the the first two years will be hell (but it doesn't have to be) the secret is patience, endurance, tolerance, communication and prayer. For god sake two strangers now living with each other, of course you guys are likely to to disagree, it s how you go about it that matters. for the other lad, pls stop, you are making your situation worse, how do you know he won't treat you worse, you are in a vulnerable state, so yr mind will be saying he's better, there's a saying where i come from, (do not go into fry pan to fire). pls try and sort it out. |
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champagne
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no you should never stay with anyone if you are not happy,but neither should you get involved with a married man ! |
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animalwatch
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I think that you should discuss this with your parents if you can. They love you and want the best for you.
We can all make mistakes,but we don't have to pay for them for the rest of our lives.
If you don't love this man and he treats you like dirt, then he doesn't love you either and you are best out of the marriage.
If you cannot return to your parents home, have you a friend who might put you up for a time?
As far as this other chap is concerned, if you think about it, he really is'nt much of a catch either is he! after all he's seeing you.Think about his wife.
I'm sixty and have been married three times,have had numerous relationships and have seen numerous relationships, both good and bad.
The one piece of advice I can give you, is don't ever leave one person for another, there is only one person in this world you can truly rely on and that's you.
Sort yourself out first, you might leave your husband to be with this bloke and he might not leave his wife.
You probably have feelings for this chap because your being so badly treated at home.
Look at your options, if you can go to a friend or your mum and dad, pack and go.Don't worry what other people might say, their not having to put up with what you are .Also don't worry about material things, just take your clothes, anything else is replaceable at a later date.
Put this other fella on the back burner until you have sorted your own life out, you don't want the baggage he has as well to sort out.
Once you are settled,then go and see a Solicitor, you cannot apply for a divorce until you have been married for a year, but you can apply for a legal seperation which will get the ball rolling.
You are obviously very young, so please take this advice from someone who knows through learning the hard way.
If you stay with your husband, you could end up pregnant, and then you will have another person to consider which will make breaking up even harder, also you will always have a tie with your husband because you have a child together.
Get out now, I think as few month's from now, if you make the right choice you will look back and realise that breaking up was the best in the long run.
If this other fella really feels something for you, he will do the same as you with his wife.Then once you are both single, if things are meant to be they will be.
Good luck, be strong, and make the right decision. |
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jacqueline m
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Discuss the problem with your husband first and try and sort it out, if not make arrangements to leave but I would forget about the other guy until you have sorted things out, remember he is married too. |
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mikydotcom@btinternet.com
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You shut the stable door after the horse had bolted didn't you-you silly girl..you should have listened to your SECOND THOUGHTS FIRST! However-all is not lost...AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR...your present problems would increase tenfold if you did! Your husband obviously does not respect you enough to even communicate with you in a reasonable, calm and adult manner, seeing as he has shown his true colours to you now-so i doubt that counselling/marriage guidance is going to work for you here. No-one should put up with spousal abuse, so you need to seperate, then apply for a divorce. Sorry, but you have to watch yourself with regards this other married guy...even more so than your husband! He may be on the level with you with what he says-on the other hand he could be sniffing about to see what he can get because he's not getting it at home, or he might just want "different"--do you know anything about this guy's history-the family, the dynamics of their relationship/marriage? I would sort your own marital problems out first m'dear, then let "married lad" sort his out too, before delving into the murky nasty world of the cheat. |
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Lost and found
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Start respecting yourself hon. Just because you got married it doesn't mean you have to stop being you or putting up with emotional and psychological abuse. You are worth more than this. Do things that are going to boost your self esteem because you sound miserable. Talking to this lad obviously makes you feel good because he gives you the right kind of attention - you can communicate with each other and you feel close because of this but an affair just messes everybody up, especially as he is also married. How were communications with your husband before you got married? Is it beyond repair or can you see a future if you stay with him? Perhaps you could try couple counselling and if you can't work out your differences after than why make two lives miserable? He deserves to be with someone who loves him too.
Good luck with whatever path you choose x |
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Lu Lu ♥
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If you are not happy and he emotionally abuses you then time to move on, but don't go wrecking someone elses home just because YOU arent happy. May you always be treated the way you treat others. |
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