I heard you people were good at helping people out with the problems lets just see how good you all really are

slishou

Maybe he's taking it as a rejection. Maybe he feels the ultimate sign of love is when you have a child together.

But *don't* get pregnant until you're ready.

Talk to him and tell him how much he means to you. Ask if he's disappointed that you want to wait, or if there's some other reason he's distant. Explain that you love him very much but you want things to happen in the right order, and you're also very young to be starting a family.

I hope you can get things back to the way they were - you sound like a nice couple. Good luck and ((((( HUGS )))))).

dick

If he genuinely loves you he will wait.
There are to many fatherless children,
please don't add to the stats.

daljack -a girl

Take a step back and really think about this.

He cools off because you're cautious about bringing a helpless baby into the world on a whim.....with a person you have no idea what kind of future you may or may not have.

I think you're very smart....continue to be smart and leave him alone.

Ego's Twin

He said those things to get into your pants, and he is backing away now because you gave in

intrigue899

He opened up with how close he feels and you rejected him in a way. It may take time, but if he is that sensitive, you need to explain what you said to us....you love being with him but you want to grow up a little, get married, and share other things before having kids. That's a smart thing for both of you. Sounds like he's madly in love with you - may be great or may not be. He's sensitive, be aware of that. And, definitely talk to him so he understands.

teresa m

He was just buttering you up for breakfast. He is backing out way to fast. You already know that you are too smart and you just don't want to admit it!

Maravilla

First off, I'm not an expert so this is just my two cents...

(1) Don't EVER let someone make you settle for something that you are not really wanting to do.

(2) Just give him some time. We all have emotions that we deal with in different ways-- and he has those too!

(3) Talk to him about it. Explain the way you feel and if he can't appreciate that then you're going to have to stick with your standards.

Hope this is worth something to you!!

jackie

You need to move on and find someone that wants the same things you do.

Gay F

Tell him like it is...you see yourself married, with a career, and then a family in time. Don't rush yourself into something you do not want to. Get on the pill!!

replexgirl

I'm wondering how long you have been together? First off, NEVER have a child if there are any doubts. You are so young and have sooo much time. If you are meant to be with this man, then wait awhile until you are married (which is what you say you want) and then work on that. One thing at a time. Don't miss today because you are worried about tomorrow.

Puresnow

Tell him you have no desire to be the vehicle for his lifetime of debt.....(child support).

Wedding first, children second, no option.

austin h

i think you can you just have to let him no you need time and make sure that he knows and make sure he understands you want to get married before you have any kids that is how i am going to be so yea maybe you can also help me with a prob i will post later just check for updates

Al B

He has the future all figured out but he hasn't asked you about it. This is the first step, to have the baby, but then you don't know what he may want next - perhaps to be a stay at home father while you work. You need to get counseling with him and if he doesn't want to go that will give you some idea of what life would be like with him. The fact that he wants you to have his baby is like a dog urinating on a tree to mark his territory it sound like. It sounds like if you marry him you may end up with 2 babies on your hand, the baby and the child.
you had better step back and get some counseling or get rid of that guy.

ShineOn

No, you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds to me like he is being a little childish about the whole thing. It's like he wanted you to have his baby soon, before marriage and since you didn't go against "what you believe in", then you deserve to be punished by him keeping things from you.

I think you should stick to what you believe in no matter what! If he truly respects you then he will still be there. This is a good time for him to learn that you will not be pushed around and told what to do. Times are fun right now...in the dating stage and all, but he needs to learn that you are your own person and you will not let something happen to you that you are not ready for.

I mean, he may be a perfectly good guy and all, it's just that he is acting selfishly on this and he needs to realize that. Good luck to you.

buschchick

if he can't respect your morals then that is cr@p...i was in your shoes once...and i stood my ground...i told him he can take it or leave it...its not like i was telling him no..i was just telling him not yet...exactly like your doing...don't back down and if this is all over weither or not you wanna have a baby RIGHT now then whats gonna happen when something big arrises and you each take separate sides??? There is nothing to be fixed...you told him how it was and you were honest...all you can do is sit him down and maybe discuss some of the reasons why you want to wait...so he better understands...maybe to him he is thinking your not ready to be that commited to him and he is hurting...a ring is one thing starting a family is taking it to a whole new level...

patty

Do not let him pressure you into getting pregnant for one thing. and maybe talk to him about things. he is the only who can tell you what he is feeling. so ask

skinwalker

It reads your 22 and he's 29 and you've only been together a month

Spoken Majority

first, learn to spell. then stay childless until marriage. then have a child. if he can't handle this, cut the ties.

yellow

Don't be stupid ,career first baby later. he want's to hit it raw that's where the baby issue comes from. You can't wash off HIV. Your entire life is ahead of you. He will move on to the next person after he gets you pregnant. Marriage after you experience something in life. Get to know who you are.

sweetsunrise85

Tell him what u just wrote on here...because thats how u feel! And its not bad!!! Good luck ;)

seekhealthenterprises

He IS the 'kid'. You cannot 'fix' that. You are right to want a husband, before a 'kid'. Don't try to fix it. You were right in asking if he has lost his mind?!!! He's a p-l-a-y-a. I say, 'don't play'.

william jacob(23/12/06)i love u

just tell him that you wana get married bfore you have any kids

i think that he got freaked out cuz he is getting older....and usually when people are in love they want to have babies together...maybe he thinks you dont love him enough to get married and to have everything that goes with it....if you are serious about him and being with him forever than tell him to show you hes not going to just be a baby daddy and to live the wonderful life with you that you imagine with the marriage first to get things straight and ready to bring a baby into a healthy family and environment (oh yea a house too...lol)...i hope that can help you at all...thats what i would doo...good luck

vmocogni

There is no one answer to your delima. Remember always to respect yourself and accept nothing less than what you deserve. You deserve to be married if that's what you want but it may not be with this particular man. You are very young and are still enjoying life where as he may be at the age where he wants children. Don't rush anything you have plenty of time. Don't let him push to do something before you are ready. There are plenty of men who would love to have you so there is no rush to get married or have children.

Kentucky Blue

Don't try to fix anything. He sound like he is already backing out on the relationship on his own. You got to please yourself.. not no one else. If you can learn this now it will save you a lot of heart ache later. God Bless

Ò‰FuzzyÒ‰ - Ò‰No-NosedÒ‰ - Ò‰ChimpÒ‰

It depends, did you actually yell "What!!!!!!"? If you did, you've no doubt rattled him and his confidence.

He may have opened up like he's never done so before, and you shot him down in flames. Have you had a difference of opinion before? Basically he's been shocked and now he is unsure. He may have been under the impression that you were perfectly suited and you would feel the same way about everything, and this has been his wake-up call.

So what do you do? Anything? you have explained you reaction, but it has been a month. The mature thing to do is discuss it. point out how he has been this month and ask him what he needs to get over it. Don't blame him, or corner him, that'll only lead to a fight and make thing worse.

No-one can give you concrete advice, as it all comes down to his maturity and we don't know him.

goingmad

Talk it out if you can, but if he wants to talk babies ask him if marriage or a similar set up is on the cards, because if not pet, bringing kids up is a hard job, so with or without him don't get lumbered too soon (having a family is lovely but not too soon and not if you are not both up for it). Bless you if he is making you upset over this ditch him and find someone with a real head on his shoulders, you are worth so much more.

Jen

Stick to your guns girl - if you want to be married before you have a baby that is your choice!

Try to get him to talk to you - explain to him that you are still so young and you don't want to be an unmarried Mom. Explain that you DO love him and would love to have his child but you have your own dreams which involve marriage to the man you love before you have children.

If he loves you enough to want to have a baby with you for the right reasons he will understand where you are coming from and may even propose in time.

At the same time you have to try and work out his thinking on these important issues - why does he want a baby? Does he ever want to get married? etc. His reasons are as important as yours and he may have some valid points.

Good luck.

David v

Sounds like lack of emotional experience to me. You need to get out and see more of the world. You're only 22, shop around. Seven years is quite a difference in age when you're this young, I can easily see him being more experienced and possible bored or disappointed in you. You need to mature on your own and not with some older guy.

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