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can i be your pet?
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how sorry is he?
how's his record otherwise?
i have a good friend who experienced this as well with her man and she stayed. she made him pay in lots of little ways and used it as a sort of goad or excuse to improve everything else about their lives. the guy dotes on her and would now be a very tough act to follow with this friend of mine. this is one way worth contemplating.
the way i see it, divorce is so ugly and wrenching, it would be easier even to just cheat on him and call it even adolescent as it sounds.
i don't enjoy having the moral high ground (because it means there's an issue and i start to feel i'm better/getting a raw deal)
i've had lots of experience with being cheated on and my atttitude these days is I don't care, it's not special 'we're not getting married' now in your situation. it's horrible. it's not the cheating part really. well, it is: it's the betrayal.
i still say if you can forgive that's easier. if he's lousy otherwise that's even easier. but if he's good. if you love him enough to drag yourself through that torture... i won't presume to suggest one way or another because the two choices are both disgusting. especially sine you didn't put yourself in this. it's someone you trusted that did this to you.
whatever you decide i would give it time... so you can make a decision when you're calmer and the wound is less raw. it is the rest of your life you're talking about after all. |
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gingertod
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chuck him out luv |
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Floridapurrfection
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Once a cheater always a cheater is what I say!! If he cheats on you he will cheat on the next woman he comes into a relationship with. Don't degrade yourself by staying with him, No man is worth that much pain!! Take it from me....You can do so much better, just think about it this way, every woman he cheats on you with is just another person you sleep with every night when he is lying in bed next to you.....Think about diseases and your health...DROP HIM!! |
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veronica c
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I would leave him, your marriage will never be the same... |
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nightman122554
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tell him to go back to his booty call and leave you alone because he broke the married vow and trust you are not a door mat good luck |
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~*[{BasKeT CasE}]*~
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my instinct says GET RID OF THAT AZZ if he loved you he wouldnt cheat if he loves you that little he should have told u and tried to work it out, not cheat: but if u still love him, talk it out, see if u wanna give him another chance. its ur call. i cant really help all that much, as im well not married but just see if u can work it out. i know ur mad but just try, maybe things will turn out. |
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blazin_cripz_2006_0wner.sheena
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Leave him.. Once a cheater always a cheater. He needs to realize what he has done and what he is going to lose for the consiquences of doing it. Maybe it will change him and teach him a leason. Then if you still love him maybe he will try his damnedest lol to get back with you and yall will get back together and he wont ever have cheating on his mind again. But honestly most guys dont learn to not cheat. |
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frustrated
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If you cannot handle what he did, then you need to get out of the marriage. If you don't it will eat away at you
and cause you to start to lose your self worth and self esteem. Sometimes it's hard to walk away, things like money, housing, job, car, children, but if you have the ability to go it on your own, you'll be better for it, and if you have kids, don't stay for the sake of the kids, they will thank you one day. |
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Chickybabe
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I do not understand the last word...but why would you stay with someone who cheats on you_ |
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slpkwp
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Well, I can tell you this, it makes your heart harden and twists your insides like knots.
With that being said, you will need to be able to forgive him totally for the affair if you let him stay, because if not, it will interfere with your marriage forever.
You also will need to learn to trust him again, and make sure he knows that trust is something he will have to earn back, it wont be given freely like before.
If I were you I would definitely seek out marriage counseling, and hopefully he will go with you, if not, you can still go by yourself, but if he isn't willing to at least do that then you should decide if you can live with the fact that he may want to stay , but isn't willing to work on saving the marriage.
Also you need to see if you can find the underlying cause as to why he cheated.
Christmas time is the worst time ever to find something like that out!
Peace and Happy Holidays to you!!
Good Luck!! |
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lovesicklust
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Figure out exactly what you want to do. I mean.. Id completely drop him, But you need to factor in other things. Do you have kids? Is this something that you can get over and deal with? Will you always resent him for this? |
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Carl H
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A 1 night stand is unacceptable but 6 weeks? get rid of him now love and have more respect for yourself. It does'nt matter who you are I believe that somewhere out there, theres your perfect partner waiting for you . Unfortunately we all have to go through the hurt and pain of getting it wrong so many times first though. This man does'nt love you and even if he ends his relationship with this other woman, its only a matter of time before he strays again. Put yourself first for a change and show both him and yourself that you don't need him and you are somebody who deserves much more than this. Good luck! |
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SentriX
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No dont let him stay lol |
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Mark
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He betrayed your love and trust in him and your marriage vows.
It is not a matter of if you should divorce but when, and that is now. |
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free_angel
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He should of thought about all of that before he decided to have an affair. Put him out and show him he's not always going to get what he wants. |
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Buttercup - VP Bamma Fan Club
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You are the only one who can decide if it is worth staying and working through it.
How long have you been together? Do you have kids together? Will you think about the affair every time you see him? Can you forgive him and trust again? These are all questions you have to ask yourself.
Trust your heart and do what is best for you. |
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behr28
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If he cheated once, he will do it again. Boot him. |
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Eastcoast beachgirl
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Do you know the woman he was cheating with? Well I would love to say that somewhere in life is a gr8 group of men that are devoted and never cheat...but is that true??? Same thing thrown back to women...do they never cheat??? I think at some point in everyone's relationships you look around and see something that you might want a taste of...but not everyone takes it. Does he mean that much to you to give him another chance? Has he done this b4? Have you? Deep down you know the answer... trust yourself on this one and your true emotions... if he hurt you make sure he knows just how much! |
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mandy b
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dump him |
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angel
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i stayed after being cheated on and guess what he did it again!! and after an awful day yeaterday im off, leaving!!! he can be lonely in his single room, i have a life and so should you-hes done it once he WILL do it again |
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P_a94
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Is he worth the effort to keep him?? Can You ever trust him in the future without thowing it in his face during and arguement?? There the answer lies. |
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Emily N
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Either you pack up your stuff and move out where upon he can talk to you through your divorce lawyer or keep the house and change the locks where he will still talk to you through your lawyer. He'll cheat on you again. If you take him back you are only saying you're a doormat for him to walk all over. Let him marry someone else to cheat on. His mistress can have him. You don't need the loser. Life is too short for you to waste being lied to and lied about. Get out of yur marriage and enjoy your life. He doesn't take you or his marriage seriously. He's a spoiled brat who wants to get away with cheating. Don't insult yorself by taking yourself for granted. Get a lawyer and get tough. |
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Buffy
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My ex husband cheated on me from about three months after we married although I didn't find out unitl about a year later. I was devestated. I stuck with him but eventually I began to resent him and myself for putting up with it that I left about three years later. best thing I ever did. |
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theta42196
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DO NOT let him stay! Kick his butt out! |
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Caroline
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There is so much more we would need to know before we could make an informed decision, and really only you can do that. Try not to act in pain and anger. If you want to go forward you will need to accept why it happened and he will have to be truly sorry. You may both need counselling. I wish you well. |
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pinniethewooh
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If you do let him back, make it on YOUR terms, not his. If he hesitates or falters, he's not yet serious about making things work. He has to be willing to put in 200% and follow through. |
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nick
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it takes time 2 get over an affair . now u ave 2 really think will u ever trust him again ,what do u really want |
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camadida
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6 weeks, no, give him a second chance.... or isn' it the 1st time he's cheating on you ? Ask him if it's serious, but .... well, you know men are big liers when it comes to cheating a wife. Stay alert, plz. |
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