I just found out that my husband has been staying with another woman.?

I Love 007

Let this other woman deal with all those issues your therapist described. This time apart didn't work & proved he can't be trusted.

beautiful_mayhem

No. He has moved on and so should you!

luvtochasecows

He does have an issue. He's a liar! It's up to you, but basically he's a liar and a cheat. If that's the kind of husband you want, take him back, if not, move on. He apparently has.

ash

If he wants to be her boyfriend then divorce him. I think people should try to make their marriage work because it is a big thing, but if you're not happy you shouldn't be unhappy for the rest of your life.

Polly

You thought living under differenct roofs after 18 years might fix something...? LOL...

Let me inpart to you an old Chinese proverb... Man who sleep in doghouse find way to cathouse.

Chelsey the Deer Hunter =)

sounds like he has moved on so you should to.

Star

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE'S A VERY GOOD LIAR. Since he had no problem lying to you and her. Married 18 years and two kids. Here's the thing is he wanting to work this out. Is he willing to do counseling? I personally would leave him. But I don't know what you are willing to put up with.

dmarie_333

No, I am suffering b/c of my man, I am in anguish b/c I have put up with this type of sh** for far too long, almost as long as you. He lied to you and he;s sleeping with another woman. Move on, its never too late to start over.

Optimista

Cheater and liar. If there is a therapist already and still has those issues, i don't think it's worth saving it.
You might start considering a divorce

Lenny K

Ok, as a guy let me tell you what his "issues" are. Child support and alimony. Let's face it, if he leaves you, he'll be ruined financially so most guys in his situation will cheat on one hand but do everything they can on the other to keep from being sent to the poorhouse.

Sue B

I can't forgive liars but then you've been married to one for 18 years so what do u think?

sacredclay

There's a question that only you can answer. Are you better off with him or without? If not, then be prepared to spend life with a liar and someone who's probably was dating another woman even when he was with you.

jojo

umm so was his excuse for this is the fact that you were separated , how can a marriage work if theres another involved , my god , that's not even fair ground .

RABBIT

No one can answer if you should stay with him or not. That's something only you can decide, because at the end of the day you are the one that will have to live with whatever decision you have made. Others don't have the feelings you have for him either, so as the old saying goes; easier said than done. If you truly love your husband and want your marriage to work, the only thing I will say is think with your mind and not your heart for it is truly a different feeling. I have been there and it's not a good feeling to have knowing that your separated spouse is seeing someone else, but I am also a true believer in when you are separated living in two different places, whatever each of you do and say with someone else is the individuals business. Now, if you decide to get back together in the same house then that means all else have been eliminated. Just remember only you can and should make that decision because no one else knows what you all have been through and regardless of what anyone else may think or say, again at the end of the day it's your life so make it your decision. Hope I helped you...

Lil Mama #1

Depending on how you feel about this and how this has affected u should help u decide if u should forgive him. I say sit him down and talk to him and let him know how u feel and ask him why he did that? Even though you all have been married for 18 yrs with 3 kids, it is very important to get to the bottom of why he did this. It is all really up to whether u can accept the fact that he did this and move on. Ask yourself "Can u?".

Shetedon

Proves that this staying apart excuse is just an excuse.
Your husband wanted to be with this woman so bad that he forsake what you both shared for 18 years. I would not give him the time of day. He literally left you and to be with another woman. That is so not cool.

Lisa D

Well, he was separated at the time. Was it his idea to split for awhile?

You may be able to forgive him but you will never forget it. It will hang over your relationship forever.

If you can, cut your losses and move on.

Sue C

It sure didn't take him long to find someone else, & at the same time deceive & disrespect you at the same time. To actually lie to her also into thinking he was "free/unattached" & be living w/her?! Your therapist is so rite, he certainly does have issues. Is this the way you want the rest of your life to go? It sounds as tho things weren't going well to begin with, then for him to stoop this low into doing what he did. I'm sorry, but I would NOT be able to forgive him after all the disrespect he showed you. Do not accept the unacceptable. To do so you are only justifying what he did against you & your marriage. IF you do split up, you still have a good chance of finding true happiness. He would have to support any children under 18, & everything you own would be split 50/50. So you would not be leaving such a marriage w/absolutely nothing. I put up w/far too many yrs. of deceit from an "ex", wasted yrs. that I could have been happy instead of hurting & miserable instead. He has to work on his "issues", that's even IF he's going to. I sure would NOT consider taking him back for a very long time, if at all. You surely do deserve better. You deserve respect, love & happiness. I truly would NOT be able to trust him at this stage of the game. I feel you'd just be asking for more hurt. After what he did against you, he does not deserve to have things be forgiven & just brushed under the rug so to speak. Take this time, take time to see if you might just be able to find some kind of happiness on your own, you deserve it too. Give him plenty of time to straighten himself up, or even see IF he's planning to do so. Rite now, I feel he does NOT deserve your forgiveness..look at all he did against you & think about it...I DO wish you the best...:)

tyrellmarie

Nope. I say absolutely not. I understand you have been married for 18 years with 2 children but this is something you will not easily get over. In fact you will NEVER get over this. It will always be in the back of your mind and you will never be able to forgive him for this. Let him have his divorce and see what he's missing and make him live that way for the rest of his life, never forgetting the pain he put you through.

LaLALALA

Divorce he found somebody else if he loved you he would have never been some other girls boyfriend.

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