I just want to kiss my wife like we used to...?

Kailey

This is sad!! I think it is far too common however! You got married too young, she wants to live out her youth, and she allows her family to suffer. Very sad, but unfortunetely there isn't much you can do. Maybe she did fall out of love with you, but she probably hasn't ever really understood what love is. I hate to say this, but I think it's time for you to move on. She will never realize what she had until it's gone. It is time for you to allow yourself to be in a happy, healthy relationship. She apparently isn't ready to settle down and you can't force her to.

Reading your question, it is apparent to me that your self esteem is suffering because of the choices she is making for her life. I'm sure you are MUCH more than just a great father! Just because she is running around and being irresponsible towards her family does not mean you have done something wrong! You love her! Even after everything the two of you have been through, you love her! That is great and should be commended! You don't want to give up on your marriage and that too is wonderful, but sometimes we have to make impossible decisions to save our own sanity.

I was married for 16 years, I have three teenagers and an 11 year old. I recently divorced. It was the single most gut wrenching experience of my life! Mostly because of my children, but also because I was walking away from a man I had spent 20 years of my life with. Seriously, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I very rarely suggest that anyone else get divorced, but in your case I think it is something that needs to happen. Your children deserve to have stability.

I could go on forever. If you want to talk, email me! I wish you the best of luck!

The Great Gazoo

Get a divorce and get it over with your marriage is finished and sounds like has been for a long time

Andrew L

it seems you'v come so close , yet SO far. It may be the fact that shes STILL seeing someone else, but maybe she just doesnt have it in her to love, maybe to only lust. It probably makes her feel good about herself , knowing the she can find something new to play with. Maybe you should try and sweep her off her feet. Do something drastic, that she would NEVER expect, then maybe she'll see the grass isnt always greener on the other side.

arab_athena

dude!!!! you are worried about one kiss??? helloooo... wake up.. she is seeing someone else... i think there are bigger isses here.
See, maybe you have moved on, but she might not have yet... If you love her, really reallllllllyyyyy love her than talk to her honestly. Find out what is more important to you both in your life together. Get some time alone to figure out with her...

good luck.

mishkin

she does not love you but you are a comfortable habit she has a hard time to break up with

she goes out there and she does not care for you, she only comes back because in the end she misses the way you care for her, because I bet none of those other people do

she sounds selfish

JebbieCakes

people just grow apart i def think marriage is not a good idea until your at least 25... however since you are married and marriage is "thru anything" i think def try.. maybe counseling or listening without judgin... maybe you arent giving her something she needs or wants... and she may not be commincating well enough to you what it is she needs... i think you should just throw everything out the window and talk it out not judging not yelling just trying to compromise and see if you can patch it or need to move on... a mediator i would say is a good part to keep peace... someone neither of you know...

sweet coco

i am so sorry to hear that. it sounds like ur marriage was over a long long time ago. if she has been seeing other men then it shows she's not interested in making the marriage work. have u tried talking to her? the fact that she won't respond when u initiate passion shows that she isn't feeling it anymore. u guys have been together a long time, and u have kids which makes splitting up even harder. have u tried marriage counselling? first u should sit down and talk to her, ask her how she feels, if she actually wants to make an effort to make the marriage work then mayb u should go for counselling. if she admits to u that she's not interested anymore and wants to give up then u have your answer. break ups are always hard but at least u can try every other option first. well done for forgiving the events of the past. thats one really great step. at the end of the day, u both deserve to be happy, there's no point in staying in a dead-end relationship, and ther's no point in living separate lives, marriage is about unity. if she is interested in making it work, suggest romantic things like renewing ur vows, take her for a romantic weekend away, surprise her with lingerie, try and get that spark back. if all else fails then mayb u should admit defeat and try to part on civil terms for the kids. at the end of the day theres nothing worse than being in a loveless marriage - kids pick up on it remember, u dont want to hurt them anymore than u have to. good luck

minorstuff Â©

sounds like you already know the answer/

Luverly

I'm sorry, I know its a bummer, but it looks like she has cut you out of her life. She sounds quite irresponsible. Sorry about your loss, but I don't really know how to advise you.

~PG~

Sounds like your marriage is not meant to be. Sorry. Take your kids and leave her. She is treating you lousey and if you stay then you are only enabling her. It sounds like you love her, but she loves herself.

Alyssa M

either u both sit down and try to work this marriage out or end it--sounds like someone needs to grow up

Shaklee Gal

Sounds like she needs to grow up. When relationships are new, we do kiss differently. But reality hits and we have stress with work, kids, school, homework and every day things. Let her go. You keep being a good dad and show your kids this is what a real man is. If you have boys you are showing them to be a man, if you have daughters, you're showing them how they should be treated. Respect yourself and find someone who will love you and kiss you the way you like. Your wife is obviously done with you, sorry.

jlatina24

I'm sorry to hear that. It seems that she's pulled away for awhile. If she was willing to move out as soon as you asked her, then thats what she wanted. I know its tough to hear but I think you guys needs to be seperated for awhile. At least so that you both can figure out what you really want from this marriage.

Express your feelings to her and ask her if she still loves you. If she can't look at you straight in the eye, it is time to move on. I wish you good luck to you and your family.

Michelle

Time to move on...she has shut you out..and after that..it is very hard to get what you once had back..anyhow..everything and everyone changes..sometimes we grow in different directions...but nevertheless..we all change. Move on...find someone who will love you with as much passion as you have !!
good luck!

xo_crystal_xo

I think you need to get out of this relationship for good!!! If she loved you then she would be cheating on you and kissing other men. Like come one here. Doesnt take a rocket scientist to know what to do. She leaves you everyother week anyways by the sounds of it. yes it will be hard after 16 years and not being ready to give what you "had" up but you need to think about ur self here and what type of example this is giving ur 2 teenager and 7 yr old!! You are still young and can still find a women who will love you and be honest and not cheat, some who you can passionatly kiss!!

carriegreen13

I would say please put an end to her going in and coming out of the house like an animal in heat.

This is not good for you or the children.

Grow a backbone and get her out!!!

No, she does not love you anymore, the lack of kissing is a red flag!!!!!

do you think this is good for your children to see, I personally, do not agree.

Get her out and stop this vicious cycle of letting her in and letting her go, and get a backbone and be a good example to your children.

They are just as messed up about this as you are.

Mien

Eddie, your situation sure sounds hard. There is a sadness in your post. You say it yourself: that you know the answer is obvious. I mean you seem to know yourself that your relationship can't go on like that forever. The chemistry seems to be off. You try to work on it but your wife doesn't seem to co-operate. The chemistry could maybe be rekindled if you both wanted it. It means commitment. But where the real problem is, in my opinion, is that she keeps coming and going - and you keep allowing it!!! How much can you take?
I know it is not my place to suggest anything about this, but because I am a daughter myself I want to ask you: how are your children affected by the unstable situation? What kind of an idea are they getting of love and commitment? You want them to find spouses that respect and share, as you want them to able to respect and share - I would guess? Children need to have role models even in love.
This sounds so lame as I write it down, but I can't think of any other sensible advice: talk with your wife and set your own boundaries, and then keep them. Talk with your children, listen to them and make them feel safe.
I wish you and your family love and happiness.

Maui Guy

Sorry for being so "to the point": She is apparently is in love with this other guy...and the relationship seems to have been going on for quite some time. It also seems that maybe he cannot commit as she keeps coming back. Perhaps he is married, too.

She may still love you...which actually I have no doubt. After all you are the father of her children, but that is probably as far as it goes. Her interest is somewhere else, but maybe finds leaving you to be difficult, too.

It may take a complete relocation to overcome the "neighborhood niceties"...

healing wings

She hasn't loved you for a long, long, time.

Skyler M

tell her how you feel!!!

babygirl

WOW..U know sometimes the damage just can't be fixed ..even when their is forgiveness ..Very hard situation.but u have Ur children and u sound to be a wonderful dad and u have moved forward maybe u need to really move forward.. sometimes we can't go back and it seems like she doesn't wont to work on getting back to where u once were.I hope everything works out for u.

CINDY J

Tough one dude...maybe you should try counseling and if that isn't an option than try quality time together, just the two of you, not just once in awhile but like you did when you first dated. Look at her like you just met her, really get interested in her as a person, make her feel good about herself and your relationship, tell her your goal and dreams, and go from there. If you want the outside relationships to stop than you both have to be willing and learn to trust one another again. Good luck and I hope you get that kiss you are after. :)

shy girl

Sometimes years breed familiarity and comfort. What you both experienced was boredom. You tried to seek outside of the marriage what you should have discovered together. That was your first and biggest mistake. It is clear that you still love your wife but the real question is are you "in love" with your wife. Your wife obviously has moved on in her mind. The reason she comes back is because she doesn't want to seem like a bad mother. You can't turn back the hands of time once so much damage has been caused but you can try to build a fresh start. If your wife is willing you should seek counseling. If not then my friend you need to let her go. At least you produced three lovely children and had good times at some point. I wish you well.

Ying

if you want the truth, just have a sit-down with her and discuss the problem. both of you are husband and wife. there should not be any question about her that you want somebody else to answer.

AMY P

why don't you call it quits and find someone who loves you back????
You should not have to bend over backwards for this woman. Move on and cut your losses now.

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