I love my husband.... I think?

daisyk

You're confusing mature love and immature love. Mature love is what you find in a healthy marriage, immature love, is what you find in people that like dating and romance more than they like anyone they date.

Every kiss is not going to feel like your first one, AND IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO!!!! When you love someone, especially your spouse, it means that your first priority in life is their comfort and well being. If it sounds like work, it's because it is, and it doesn't mean fireworks with every kiss, or flushed cheeks every time you see him with his shirt off, but it does mean one of the most wonderful, trusting, caring, safe feeling relationships anyone could ever hope for.

The truth is, if you spend your life seeking that exciting immature love, you are never going to be in any long-term relationship ever, because you'll get bored and see every guy as "just a friend" again and again.

I agree with the others recommending counseling to help you figure out why you feel so driven to this immature love. I hope you've already told your husband of your affairs, and if he's still willing to stay in the marriage, then I hope you two are going on dates once a week.

Ultimately, it's time to stop thinking about yourself. Spend your time looking for ways to do nice things for him, and to make his life easier. It may be really hard and annoying at first, but I promise you before long, you'll remember why you fell in love with him in the first place, and you'll realize you're very much in love with him now.

JAZY

I THINK THAT DEPENDS ON HIM

life as we know it

If you have cheated on your hubby then you don't really love him. The vows say to love honor and cherish do you want him to cheat on you or find someone more intresting than you to be with, sounds like you need to do him a favor and leave him. You dont' sound as if you are in it for the long run if you don't have kids then get out now before it ruins a childs life. I think you are robbing your hubby of someone who may really love him and deserve him it sounds as if you have no respect for him or his feelings. I don't think you should stay with someone for life just cause hes a good friend.

Sagittarius Guy

It seems your issues are deeper than you think. I think you need counselling.

hotdesersand

tell him the truth and give him a chance to either forgive or forget you

valerie

you are extremely self centered!!!! dont use him because he gives you a great life...let him go and another woman will truly make him happy....i feel sorry for him!!!!

Ninja CK

i believe you two need to have a talk.. heart to heart.. i'm 24 and single but love doesn't stay the same between couples .. especially with time because you don't do anything new anymore.. always the same.. perhaps if you plan something different and special? revive your feelings for each other.. so that you don't end what you have

Nunoyvgvna Awi

Seek counsling or a shrinks help.

careinge

well if he doing something ask him question

Funny Lady

I am in the same situation your in... I haven't done the cheating part though... I have thought about it many many times... If you find the answer let me know...

drasitvaishnav

U want him as a care taker ,or security .not as a husband .donot cheat him save your marriage and his heart.u cant live with a friend only when he is seeing wife in u.

torhelious

That sounds like a classic case you'd see on Dr Phill...where one person in the relationship is Subconsciencely trying to ruin the relationship.

Lusted

i think ur someone who has problems, u need to tell him the truth, thats not right, if u do love him u would KNOW it, not ''think'' it, if u love him be honest with him, and dont cheat on him, and if he leaves u, then give him some time, u messed up, and i feel sorry for ur husband. cheating is no place in a marriage

BACKSEAT R

Drop him in your wake!

qbanita0113

I don't understand why you would cheat on him if the relationship is good... It makes no sense to me at all... I don't think it's fair for him at all because you're having your cake and eating it too... If you feel like you want to be w/ other people, why did you get married in the first place?

TMAC

Look it is perfectly normal in todays times to fantasize. If you lived in biblical times it would be different. It is hard for a person to love only one forever. It doesn't mean there isn't love there it only means you might have other needs he cannot fulfill just now. Maybe you will change when you have had enough of spreading your wild oats. I think we get married on dreams of other people at times. If we were allowed to change without those other peoples consequenses we might have a happier society. You seem normal to me. Maybe more normal because you aren't afraid to talk about your thoughts like some are. Good luck and try not to get caught. If you do then you lost the gamble. Get into another game.

lynn

Maybe you need to find a way to spice things up.

It's not fair to either of you to be in a relationship that's unfulfilling.

askmike

sounds like you are having the 5 year itch. you need to communicate your indiscretions to him and see what he thinks you two should do. good luck.

jamieinreno

I think by staying with him you're just hurting him & lying to yourself. If he's a friend, then you need to let him know this. Marriage is supposed to be for those in love, not one in love & the others just a really good friend. You should tell him & break it off. You'll both be happier in the long run.

jmdavis333

F**king wh*re!!!!
You cheated on your husband, but hey that's ok cause you don't feel bad about it! You've already left him mentally, why don't you totally kick him while he's down and leave him phyically too! You apparently have no LOVE for him anyway.

And women say that we are the bast*rds that sleep around all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lily

mine is not my friend, we argue all the time , we don't have anything in commen ,I just stay in the relation for the sake of my kid, but I've never cheated on him,so I don't think it's fair to your husband to be cheated on, put yourself in his place, do you want to be treated this way?

Â¤Â§wÎµÎµâ€ Â¤Î²Â£Î¿nÎ´Â¤ÏÎ¾RKÂ¥Â¤

Cheaters never prosper

dorman143

So you're the type of person that would stab your best friend in the back. I'm not judging you, it's just what's been extrapolated from what you wrote. I do feel bad for the guy though. People generally deserve better.

jade11378

I think everyone is entitled to the truth. If you don't feel guilty, maybe you don't love him as much as you think you do? That for me, isn't love. I would fess up to him and see what he wants to do about the situation. I would have let him go once I realized he was only a friend and nothing. It's horrible to string people along.

fashiondivine01

i think if he doesnt kno you are cheating on him you should tell him...it isnt air to him that your doing this to him...if he loves you... you need to tell him how you feel...cause if you dont tell him now u are gonna make it worse later

~Gate~

Divorce him, save him some heartache if you care about him and let him find a wife thats more mature and actually has some moral values.

slf620

There is a difference between being a best friend and being a wife and life long partner, can you actually see yourself being with him for the rest of your life, that is what marriage is! You may love your husband, but you are doing him terribly wrong, you dont need to be with him if you dont truly love him,which you dont, if you did, you would not have cheated. We all make mistakes, and if you feel this is a one time thing, get counseling, if you feel you may do it again, get a divorce. You are only going to end up hurting the one person you say you love, your husband. Be true to not only him, but to yourself!

vivmaiko

Stop daydreamng. It's not that hard. That's where it starts...your mind wonders then your body wanders. The worst thing about daydreams is that they are exactly that...dreams. We tend to romanticize other people in our minds when we are in a relationship. You know your husband in-and-out (i hope you do), his faults, strengths etc. but when you see other people you only think about their good points and you get infatuated. If you leave this marriage, I can almost guarantee you will be unhappy in all other romantic ventures. A lot of people who get divorced usually realize in their new marriage that the problem in the relationship was them and not their ex-partner. If you leave, you will meet another man, get bored, daydream, cheat and end up at square one. Unless you just enjoy being unfaithful, cheating is a symptom. It may be a sign that there is something wrong with you, or with the relationship. You need to take a long, hard look at yourself and see where you stand. The two of you got married for a reason, you may see him as a friend now, but that is because the romance died. You need to find a way to rekindle it. If you can't stop cheating, you need to let that man be

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