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I made a big mistake and I think I need to see a shrink. .actually know. . .?
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I made a big mistake and I think I need to see a shrink. .actually know. . .?

An old friend of my husbands came here to visit, we got really drunk and I slept with him. I am not the type to cheat and I love my husband very much. I wanted to do it again he had such a nice body and then he told me no. (thank God) I can't believe that I was that stupid and I actually wanted MORE. I feel so guilty, ashamed, cheap. I seriously think something is wrong with my head now, to let something like this happen and then want more. . that is just crazy! Please give me some good advice and try to be nice. Thanks!
Additional Details
I meant I actually KNOW I need to see a shrink because I am majorly depressed about this!


    




mrs.nba_25
the problem in this world today is that people marry and it`z not the person for them they know that but they do`nt care find where yo heat is.................................and stick there.


jucee2283
Rating
If you love your husband and your family and you are never going to cheat again then dont cheat them more by telling your husband and causing more pain- and possibly breaking up your family and a friendship of your husbands. We are all human and make mistakes but repetitive action are not mistakes- they are what you subconciously want. In my opinion if you arent going to do it again than why be more selfish and hurt your husband more by telling him.I do think you need to see a counselor and find out what is wrong inside with you or in your marriage for you to feel like you have to go somewhere else. If you feel you cant live with yourself by keeping this a secret but you feel that you at the same time are scared of the results of telling him- then you should go to a counselor first and/or your minister for guidance and help with your feelings.


frontmann2004
yeah...ouch. You are on the right track. Go get some counseling.

...and remember. It takes two to tango.


movin12006
Rating
You were under the influence at the time,your best solution is to go to your husband tell him what happened,and apologize,then you both need to get counseling to keep your marriage together,if that's what you want.If the guy was less drunk or not at all drunk,he took advantage of you and your husbands trust.But most of all do not trey to justife wwhat you did with the you never are around anymore,big mistake...


Mistress T
First off, I think the previous reply was good: If you don't think he'll find out, don't tell him. If you know you were wrong and will never do it again, then it serves no purpose to tell him. It will only hurt him and it will do nothing for you guilt.

Secondly, every time you feel guilty for what you did (or ashamed, cheap, etc.), then do something nice for your husband or doing something that will improve yourself. For example, make your husband a special meal, give him a back rub, send him a note. Or go for a walk, read a book about having being a good wife, exercise. If you keep doing something productive every time you have these negative feelings, pretty soon the negative feelings will be replaced with a better marriage and a better you.

Good luck to you.


no picture
Rating
How long have you been married? Did you get to have fun and do all the things that you wanted to do before you got married? You probably didn't, I don't think something is wrong with your head, we are all human and some of us give in too easy to temptation, specially when we are drunk. What you need to do is figure out what you really want, do you still want to be with your husband or do you want to see other people. My older sister was in the same situation, she decided to divorce and see other people, that was a big mistake for her she really regrets it now. So just give it a lot of thinking before you decide what to do. Nothing is wrong with you, you just need to talk to some one about it.


cindy
Rating
We all have weaknessess, you just did not know you had this one until the oportunity presented itself.

With all weaknessess, we need to learn to control them, even when the opportunity presents itself.

See a shrink if you really feel the need, but honestly, you already know the problem, and thats all a shrink really does, is let you figure out your true problem and then correct it.

I would say less alcohol and no alone time with men you find attractive would be a real good start.


Dan S
Booze, you were drunk. When you drink it reduces your inhibitions, you do things that you normally wouldn't do. You are not crazy, you have a drinking problem. Stop drinking and you should not have a repeat.

The problem now is what does your husband think. You can bet the secret will get out, and you had better tell your husband before he hears it from someone else. You can't deny it happened. Honesty helps make a marriage work, and it may be better to own up to your mistake.

However, you need to cut down on your drinking and you need to stick to it. If getting drunk made you perform an act that has you feeling so guilty, ashamed and cheap, even crazy, then that is proof you cannot handle getting drunk.

I would try AAA before seeing a shrink, it's cheaper and you will get the same advice from the shrink.


broken
first off- Don't drink any more. look how it affected your judgement.
second-you have to tell hubby as others have pointed out you owe him honesty.
feeling bad is not enough...........


?
Rating
Be honest!


gemini3333333
Rating
Absolutely do not tell him. Why would you do that? Because you feel guilty? Well, deal with it. If you tell him, now you feel horrible and so does he. Whats the point in that? If he finds out, then be honest, until then...no way!


princess angel 2207
you are a homewrecker..................hoe.


Angel B
Rating
Are you planning on teling your hubby? Hmmm prolly not huh? Chances are if this ISNT the U, u say then it will eat at you no matter how many shrinks u see, but if you can deceive and move on then POWER to ya sister, BUt i'll bet if you choose that option you will do it again, OH and please Dont use drinking as a crutch drunk or not I know where my own bed and husband are and no I am not being mean hon, honest Im not just being obvious because think about it would YOU take such a lame excuse, I think NOT. Good Luck hon no matter what and maybe you should ummm not drink, u think?


billm_07456
Rating
I wouldn't tell him, what he doesn't know will not hurt him.
You made a mistake, don't do it again.

I think if you tell him, it will make matters worse. He will lose a friend and a wife.


chevy
Rating
what is it im supposed to help you with? you got drunk-gota nut-now you must tell your husband. uhhhm glad i dont live with yall.


Brian
You need to level with your husband and tell him what happened. But, if you truly love him, you already knew that.

I'd look into this behavior with a psychologist.


kim
if you truely loved your husband you would have never slept with another man drunk or not drunk......think of your husbands feelings.


akiastatz
The sad thing here is that you don't feel bad for what you did. If you really felt bad, your conscience wouldn't have let you get that far. It's obvious you need somebody to talk to about it, and it also seems evident that you need time away from your husband. Good Luck, you are not the only one who has gone through something like this.


sanangel
Rating
well actually i would try to keep it quiet unless you want to hurt your husband and perhaps break up your marriage... i do not think it is right what you did at all...but i do not think you should add more flames to the fire.. i also do not think you should ever have that guy over to your house anymore.. where was your husband at anyway...it really was a real bad thing you did.. but just make sure it does not happen anymore.. try and come to peace with yourself.. would your husband suspect something if you wanted to see a shrink right now... just hope he does not find out... i think you made a mistake and i would normally say come out and be honest but i know from experience that is not the best way...just make sure you never do anything like that again.. try to be extra good to your husband and try and seek the romance you had with hime before... and if you really love him this should not be hard to do....but the best wishes for you... and hope you can bear with your consious....


free_angel
Rating
So now you know you and alcohol don't mix well together. Stay away from the booze especially when anyone visits, forgive yourself and never let this happen again. Don't tell your husband, all it will do is cause him unnecessary pain.


little_angel_in_eugene
First thing you need to do is beg your husband for forgiveness. I don't understand when people say there "not the type to cheat" well you did so it is in you. Mistakes do happen but not when your married. If you think you may need some help there's nothing wrong with that.


pradavee
Yes, you made a huge mistake and loving your husband don't have nothing to do with your actions. You didn't think about him when you slept with his friend. And to top that off, the guy you slept with didn't want you the second time around.

I think it would be a good ideal for you to speak with a professional therapist.


dodgergirl
Girl it happens you don't need to see a shrink. Yes is bad because you are married and to top it off is your husbands friend. The only thing you could do to get over it is to ask God for forgiveness and tell your husband what happened. If you don't the guilt is going to catch up with you. Just remember what goes around comes around.


~Sinfully~Exquisite~Stalking~
Rating
Your not crazy your just stupid...

You don't love your husband or else you wouldn't have cheated on him in the first place and because you wanted more it just sets that in stone...

Sorry, No being nice to someone who hurt someone so cruel like...I would suggest telling your husband, cause its not like you are guilty about what you did, its about getting caught...
So instead of spending your money on a shrink, tell him and fess up and HOPE and PREY that he takes you back if he is smart he will leave your *** because your totally not worthy to have someone like him...


wordofgods
Rating
Here is what you should do...

If you think the old friend will tell him, then you need to tell your hubby first, and tell him you are sorry, it will never happen again etc.

If you think he will stay silent. Don't say anything. Go get some counseling, but just learn from your mistake and don't do it again.





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