I need help ... verbally abusive husband.?

IMHO

How would you like us to help you? Our advice is going to be to leave.

~just_jd~

think about this, if you don't get your childern out of that type of envirorment and away from him , they will grow up an be just as abusive in thier relationships or take that type of abuse. set the example for your childern an get them away from there.

alex j

If he is abusing you in any way you shouldnt be with him its not right for someone to do that to another person

jjssweetflags

DONT PUT UP WITH THAT CRAP, TELL HIM IF HE WANTS TO ABUSE YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT. OR YOU COULD KICK HIM IN THE NUTS

mrspolish56

Have you all seeked family counseling?? It could help

Shaunna H

And your children are hearing all this?? NOT GOOD!!! You need to get out. The children might not understand at 1st, but in the end it will be better for you and them. Do you want your children to think this type of behavior is OK??

val l

sometimes verbal abuse is as painful as being beaten.. words hurt. I've learned that wounds heal in time, words last forever. get outof that drama, you have children and what they carry with them is things from there childhood. dont let it be unpleasant memories

julesrules

I KNOW what that's like!!!!!!!!
verbal abuse can be just as bad, IF NOT WORSE than physical abuse-------- It's ALL Abuse! Don't put up with it!! The guy doesn't have any right to treat you this way!!!!
What's his problem, anyway? Why verbal abuse toward you?????

I'm telling you FIRST HAND, this is bad for the kids! If your Husband has a problem with something concerning you, he can walk with you outside and out of "ear shot" of the kids.
That's what he needs to do, BUT, he doesn't need to treat you bad either! No excuse!

Well, that's how the verbally-abusive man is when he yells, everything is everybody else's fault, NEVER HIS own!!!!!

What you should do is stop taking it, because he's gonna cause you to walk out on him without a word soon!
Trying to talk to a enraged person doesn't do any good, HE needs help or he will lose you and the kids! They will resent him, I KNOW about this!!!!!!!

You're getting belittled and it hurts!
And, your Husband isn't being a good father when he doesn't treat you with respect, and he is influencing the kid's young minds that this is the way men should act.!!! He's ruining their lives!

I left my First husband over verbal abuse, coz I lost feelings and respect for him! You just don't get anywhere staying with someone like that!

Tell him to get help or you're getting a Lawyer!!!

Cracklin' Crotch

If I were a woman I'd leave his sorry @ss. Nobody should be abused in any way. Think about your kids too, having to see & hear their dad treat their mom like crap. Do you want your son to grow up & treat women the way you're being treated? Do you want your daughters to think that's how a guy's supposed to treat his wife? Think about how much good will come out of leaving this idiot.

Smilingcheek

This si something I would try to keep in mind. What your son is witnessing in his father, is teaching him how to treat women later in life. What your daughters are witnessing is teaching them how to expect to be treated. If you do not like that idea, that alone is a reason to put a stop to it. They are kidsm and it is your job to look out for them and have the foresight to protect them from being damaged by what is happening now. If you feel like you want to work it out, you have to see a therapist or someone at church- anyone that can help you and your husband find a way to communicate constructively and in a way that will be positive for the kids. Most likely your husband learned this behavior and somehow he has to learn that it is not ok. You telling him won't be enough. Look for help- and gain strength in your decision to protect your kids. Good luck to you.

dixiegurl8993

Get out now!You don't know what it will lead to.

Cori

My suggestion would be family counseling. Have you sought counseling? If he is unwilling to go or if you try it and it doesn't work, leave him. What else can you do? As for your daughters, you need to put your foot down. You are their mother. When they get older they will seek out men that are just like their father. I sympathize with you but honestly if you're not ready or willing to do something drastic, don't even bother to ask us.

amandaped25

Why are the girls on his side? This isn't healthy for you or your children. Perhaps some counseling wouldn't be a bad idea...if it gets too bad...sit down and tell him how you feel....perhaps the two of you are growing apart

angelheart

My husband does that to me. In fact, every other day whenever he has a bad day at the office. I have been taking his s*&^ for 10 years now. It eventually drove me to another man. But for the sake of my children, i stayed on with him and is still taking his S*&&^. I left my lover and am all alone now but i am not as depressed or affected as i was before because I believe what goes around comes around. One day, he will get his punishment and i will be around to see it. God works in funny ways.Thinking about the kids and the rewards i reap later makes me stronger. His abuses strengthened me rather than weaken me because i know i will be able to withstand any kind of stress after this. Just tell yourself, he's not worth the stress, he's not getting away with it, his punishment will come sooner or later, he's not worth getting angry over, not worth wasting your time and energy to worry about. So, save your positivity, your energy and channel all of it into your children. Your girls might not see it now but they will eventually grow up and understand. I know it is not healthy for the kids, i have two of my own. My son at 8 can understand that daddy is wrong and he understands when i tell him that he should not yell at a woman no matter what. So, it's up to you to educate them and make them see the light. You will not regret it. Good luck and my thoughts are with you. You are not alone!

Momma

Ok

I am a Bahai
so here is a website:

http://statements.bahai.org/94-0523.htm
http://bahai.org/dir/society/marriage_family

Its a really good article, it starts out poorly but gets better.

Email me if you need to talk.

Meg

Kovasmomma@yahoo.com

inna357

remember your kids come first either this guy should go into anger management classes or you should run . your girls will think it is OK for their husbands to yell and what ever to them u don't want that and your son will probably do the same to his wife. do u want them to live the way u do ? and there should be no reason that your husband yells at u this much . be strong and do what u think is best for your children good luck

Questionative

Well, I researched your question extremely carefully and after a while of searching, I found this site would be most useful for your situation.

http://journalfortwo.com/?src=overture

This site will hopefully help you!

Debra W

I have been where you are now!!Believe me, it only gets worse.I have seen it time and again by my friends. Don't wind up in the hospital like I did. There are shelters, family, friends that will help you. Just ask. I know it is embarrassing, but your kids need you. Without you they have no one. Do you want him raising your kids? If you stay that will likely happen on down the line.

snetta1

u just need to leave his *** !!!!!!!!!! u have kids and yourself to think about. if he loves u he wouldn't be so verbally abusive. if he is abusive, u know whats gonna come next. he is gonna end up beating u, that's what. and u shouldn't stick around for none of that. u need to seek out some help and advice from a counsel or something. good luck

Bethany

Stop allowing this man to verbally abuse you. The two of you desperately need family therapy but in the meanwhile you need to stand up for yourself and tell him to stop his cruel behavior immediately. If he doesn't put an end to this, and if therapy does not produce some positive changes you may need to file for divorce.

You are letting this man destroy your life and set a very destructive example to your children. Stop it, NOW!!!

Katherine C

I think you should choose a time when he's calm and try to explain how you feel and how it's affecting the children. I would video tape him when he's angry and show him how he REALLY looks and sounds. I think he might be shocked. The next thing I would suggest is anger management fo him, he's teaching your children how to treat you and that's not acceptable....

cristanine

Although many people have heard sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt us, those who have suffered from verbal abuse know that words do hurt and can be as damaging as physical blows are to the body. The scars from verbal assaults can last for years. They are psychological scars that leave people unsure of themselves, unable to recognize their true value, their talents and sometimes unable to adapt to lifeâ€™s many challenges.

trblmmmy

honey yell back...leave hin with your kids you and him aren't really setting a very good example are you..t hink of it this way how wiould you feel if yor daughters b/f or husbands treated them like that. what if you saw your son treating his better half like that? honey get out and get some counsleing

STLgirl

Well your girls are getting from your relationship what is acceptable in theirs. If they grow up with their father not treasuring their mother than you can bet that will be acceptable behavior from their own husbands someday. I suggest you force him to get individual and family counseling or get your kids out and get them counseling so they can learn new standards for their future relationships and that includes your son because you do not want him to be a bully in his future relationships

hot1

kids shouldnt be involved, period. its between you and your husband. you need to leave him and take the kids regardless of what they think because they are under age, they dont have a clue on this stuff and you are responsible for what happens to them. your the adult here not your kids. and its especially not good for them to hear your husband abuse you as it will influence your kids to do the same when they are older. good luck

flagnsnarf

He does not respect you. Saying I love you are just words. if he even does that. Actions from a person reflect the true feelings that are inside them. Buy a big container of Benefiber and put some in each meal he eats. He will spend a lot of time in the bathroom putting up with his own crap.

lil_teetee2002

I tihnk you should leave. Verbal abuse turns into physical abuse. You have kids do you really want you girls to grow up and think its ok for someone to talk to them that way.Or for you son to treat women that way. Kid learn alot for their parents and if they see this at home they're going to think it's ok

E.M.

I know how you feel, my husband use to do that to me , until one day I really surprised him and I stood up to him really it took alot of strength and courage , but now he really knows that I wont take no crap from him anymore , you know I am not afraid of loosing my husband if he wants to leave me , I can find better
and so can you my dear , be strong , and trust me ,if he doesn't
change then you have to make a decision ... good luck...

alyssa s

wow you're in a tough situation.. i have never experienced what you're feeling... but can i still answer?

first off, do you do anything to stop him from being verbally abusive? do yu guys have 'fights' or is it him just shouting at you? i have a feeling it's he latter, so i'll say that first (if you havent done so already) ...talk to him seriously and ask him to stop, that you guys have kids and your kids probably don't like to see their dad yelling at their mom, and if he can't understand that, you don't know what to do.

if that doesnt work and he says he isnt doing what he IS doing, or he agrees but continues to verbally abuse you.. think. i know this sounds pretty stupid, but i think i know what i'm saying... think.. do you really love your husband? are you willing to live with him for the rest of your life? is he really 'right' for you? are your kids going to thrive in the situation your family is in? act based on your decision. if you feel you DO love him, you CAN survive with him... then hold your head high, and the next time he yells at you, talk calmly back to him and maintain your cool so that he does too. If you don't think you can... well, it's a pretty tough decision to make, but everyone deserves to be happy. you can decide to live somewhere else... taking your kids or not is your choice. or... if this is what you really think is best for you, you can get a divorce... a very hard decision, but sometimes necessary.

think seriously before you do anything...
but also know one thing: this verbal abuse might grow into something that could be dangerous and/or destructive to your family, and especially, you.
so if there's one thing you should know, it's to act quickly.
hope this helps...

lilwalker02

Well I believe your girls side with him because it is a proven fact that daughters and mothers have the hardest relationships. For some reason they have some for of pyscological jealousy, but I wouldn't sweat that. It takes two to argue! So next time don't do anything to provoke him to say things. I would also suggest finding a good Christian counselor that can help restore your marriage. If worse comes to worse, walk out on arguements so that they don't get blown out of proportion. Be the bigger person.

SpermFeather

You just found this out?????????????????????

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