I need some advice...am I overreacting?

Happy-2

I think you are overreacting a little, and that he is significantly out of line. Buying a puppy for someone else to take care of is rude, and a huge imposition. However, crying about it is a bit of an overreaction.

I have some advice for you that I hope you take seriously. The best advice about this you could possibly get would be from dog lovers. Please copy this question and ask it again, but this time select the category Pets > Dogs. I bet you would get lots and lots of helpful tips there that would take a way a lot of your stress. Please try it.

â™¥ â™¥HONESTY RULESâ™¥â™¥

You think a puppy is bad, try having 6 frickin kids!! Talk about lack of sleep!

All jokes aside, getting a puppy should have been a mutual decision especially since he's not home much. I'd be pissed too.

Magic 8 Ball: The Witch is In

I think he should have talked with you about the dog first. Particularly since you are the only one home during the week.

Don't think about having kids anytime soon, lol.

Shizam

He's totally out of line, and you're allowing him to be out of line. You should have put your foot down at the pet store, because it's you who has the responsibility of a puppy, and the birds, and your own job all week while he's only there on weekends. Two people full time need to take care of the pets, because then one person (you) doesn't feel overwhelmed. Show some backbone, and insist the dog be given back or sold. And I would be seriously communicating with him more effectively. Good luck.

Princess M

You are not overreacting. You are stressed and I can see why. Your husband is being selfish because he isnt home enough to care for these animals that he just has to have. I think your problem is deeper than just the pet issue. He doesnt really seem to be concerned with how you are feeling. I would try talking to him again when you arent crying and tell him your feelings. If he still does not listen then I suggest going to a counselor. Good luck

The English Teacher

He's out of line. He knew you were going to be the one taking care of the puppy while he's at work all week, but didn't feel the need to discuss it with you beforehand. However, you also should have pointed this out to him BEFORE you got the puppy. Now you can call him back and tell him that you didn't realize it would be this much work and you don't think you can do it.

Lindsay

He is way out of line...he got an animal that he is NOT able to take care of...that is technically neglect. You are not overreacting and how he just expects you to take care of it without even asking you was messed up...im sorry.

Sky

Give the puppy away.And if you`re husband gets mad,Well you already told him ,And he didn't listen.
Men are such arrogant azz`s

Julienne

I think you have gone through several major life changes in a short time and you are feeling worn out!

Having said that, and its by no means a small issue all of the changes you've made, I do wonder at why your husband has SEVEN parrots?

Pets need a lot of attention. But so do kids when they arrive. But the pet thing is more of a choice you can deal with in that you need to tell him when you're not upset that it is a LOT of work.

For now try and take it day by day minute by minute until you get to speak to him. If he wants seven parrots he needs to make a plan himself. You are not a zoo keeper!

And I promise you will start to feel more in control again, once you have adjusted to all these changes. So here's a big hug from me! and sister! I wouldnt put up with seven parrots!

Geneddly

Very difficult situation however, go to the pet store and ask for some puppy training pads. That should help puppies learn easily. As for the parrots well you do have too many, but it's your decision to have them not mine. You enjoy your pets and train your puppy and you'll see it's not that bad. Good Luck!

Ria S

don't have any kids
seriously take him to a class my niece did it with her yorkie it work out great but dogs are like babies they demand alot of attention

Sammi R

i dont think its over reacting you need to talk to him about this problem maybe hire a kid in ur neighborrhood to come over and take the dog out so at least you can eat during lunch and not have to run back and forth ok hope i helped

SweetCheeks16

Eff that honey! He is never home why would he think it would be ok to get a puppy?? You did need to put your foot down and tell him NO but you always didn't sound like you were stoked about it either. Did he even ask you if it would be ok? That's not right if he didn't he's never going to be home to take care of it and you had no say in buying it? WRONG! I would sell the puppy if I were you, plus puppies need attention and if you can't give it to him and he obviously can't either you should give it to someone who can otherwise that puppy is going to tear your house up and start being destructive.

olivia:]

no, your not overreacting.
its like you had a kid that you didnt even want.
somthing, that your husband wants, and your left to take care of it.

maybe you should talk to him about making your decisions together, rather than this mother and son relationship;
you know, the kind where the kid promises to take care of a pet he begged for, then he doesnt, so you are left to take care of it.

so, yeah:]

[:oliviarenne:]

iiidontknowdoyou

Then what's wrong with you that you didn't put your foot down and tell him he isn't buying a dog! And you knew better than buying it from a pet store, nothing like supporting the puppy mills! Get rid of the puppy while he's out of town. Yeah he'll be mad, but he'll get over it. Otherwise, make him take the puppy with him when he goes out of town so HE'S the one taking care of it! You are married now and that doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself, in fact you can SEE if you don't he's going to run all over you! You also need to get it in his hard head, that YOU are WORKING just as hard as he is to provide for the two of you too! Train him the way you want him NOW, to avoid future problems!!

The Wife

He is putting a lot of responsibility you didn't want on you. I'd be angry and frustrated too. Right now though, there's not much you can do. talk to him on the weekend when he's home. Don't do anything for the birds or the puppy all weekend long so he gets an idea of what it's like for you all week. Maybe he'll understand. Maybe right now he just thinks you're whining...

Dave

He is out of line. The man is a control freak. Find a marriage counselor with weekend hours, FAST. If he refuses to go, go alone. this marriage is heading for trouble.

Puffy

the problem began when you bought the second parrot...

i do think it's incredibly unfair for him to put all the work on you! i also do want to encourage you though because as the puppy gets older, it requires less work! it will take some training but eventually it will be house broken so it will make it through the night and the day. my hubby and i work full time and we crate trained our puppy. we're not always able to make it home for lunch and our puppy is fine. plus he likes to sleep at night more then we do (lol) and just wants to go into his crate and sleep!

try petsmart (if there's one by you), they have some great training classes if you're willing to try! there's quite a few pros to the companionship of a dog :-)

NeZzY

I think that you're not overreacting. Taking care of one pet is stressful, I can't imagine what it's like to be taking care of 8! Try sharing duties with him, talk to him and figure out a plan everyone likes. Hope this helps.

Jessica

that is very stress full. i myself was just married in may, and just got our 2nd puppy (we got the first one 2 wks ago). My advice would be to get a crate (is a dog cage). leave the puppy there at night and cover the crate with a sheet or something, she will cry for a few days, but she will get over it. while you are at work, you can let her dog out of the cage, say in your kitchen (on linoleum, and closed off to all of the other areas. it may go potty on the floor a time or two, but she will stop). once house broken dogs will not to go to the bathroom where they sleep.

Earnest L

You are not overreacting at all. I think it was selfish for him to get a puppy that he himself doesn't even have enough time to spend with. I think if he wanted one so badly, he would've had the sense to be responsible for it. I think you're absolutely right in the way you feel, and you need to stress those feelings a lot more. If he can't understand your predicament, he has some work to do as far as being a REAL MAN.

G.G.

I do not want to sound mean but you used very bad judgement when you got a another animal. Puppies are just like babies. They need one on one attention. You need to get a better home for your little puppy. You and your husband are too busy now to take on this responsibility.. You mean well and I'm sure you are a wonderful caregiver to your animals. Can you get a neighbor to walk your puppy?? Best of luck to you. I hope you are not considering children anytime soon.

pink.star

It sounds like many emotions are coming together... Just talk to your husband and let him know that having a puppy is not a good idea. Maybe he can try taking the puppy himself so he can see how hard it is to work and take care of a pet. Try calling a friend you can talk to so they can also give you some advice or maybe visiting your family could also make you feel much better.

candyfloss

i think that you should sit down and have chat with your husband. you are not in any way over reacting and explain how you feel and if he just yells again then i suggest that you get some counceling or if you think it is getting out of control then think about moving back home because you are obviously struggling and it is unfair..hope everything works out and good luck :]

Love

I think in this case its not the factor of overreacting, but, I believe both of you guys aren't understanding each others feelings. You both sound tired and over worked, while you want to have time to relax, your husband wants an outlet to relax which is what the puppy is for. I think instead of just getting rid of it figure out a schedule. Maybe he can take the puppy with him sometimes and then you have it another time.
I think you both should sit down and talk things through. Tell him how you feel but be willing to listen to his side as well, do not cry, it will not get you anywhere. If you want your marriage to be strong and not let a puppy come in the way, you should try to work things out. Maybe even put some signs up around your neighborhood to see if someone could watch your puppy while your at work. I know there are tons of kids where I live who are always looking for extra cash.
Just talk things through and don't get upset no matter how stressed things seem.

TomatoMom

I wonder why you didn't speak up when he first mentioned getting a puppy. The both of you needed to have a discussion about getting a puppy before you went to a pet store, before you bought one and brought it home. You would have found out why he wants a puppy so much, and he would have found out about your feelings of unfairness regarding your caring for all the birds already and that adding a puppy to the chores/responsibilities/tasks is wearing on you. You two need to sit down and discuss things - neither one of you are mind readers. Your stressed and tired - I understand so completely. But when you say you want to leave - do you mean leave your husband and the marriage? If that's the case, then yes, you are overreacting if it's simply becuase of the puppy. Hope this helps - I am sorry you are so stressed out - hand in there, take a deep breath.

Pixell

This is an unusual situation.
You have been married such a short time.
From here your situation makes me wonder if your hubby is collecting trophies.
He has a new beautiful bride. a bunch of exotic birds and now a new puppy.
(in my observation of people)
Some people are "how it sounds" people and some are "how it looks" people and others are "how it feels" people.
I have known people who do one thing and say another, expecting other people to be satisfied with what has been said, even though it does Not match what has been or is being done.
On the weekend when your hubby is home I would ask him why he wants a puppy at this time, when he is not there to bond with and help train it. Does he expect you to make this puppy into the family dog he has in his head from the perfect family snapshot he has planned?
I would point out to him that he is doing the opposite of bonding with the puppy and for that matter putting all this responsibility on his new bride is having the opposite of bonding there too.
If something is not done soon you will begin to resent him for not caring about you and your lunch and for taking you for granted. And he will resent you for not being the trophy wife who quietly trains the trophy man's best friend for him to come home to after working his butt off all week.

beautyinmiami

You are overreacting but just a little.You have the right to be angry and stressed out. It is technically his puppy not yours so he should be the one taking care of it.If he can't manage to take care of the puppy and work during the week like you are doing now then he needs to find a new home for the puppy where the people have the time to take care of it.Hope this helps.

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