I need some advice w/this!!**********?

Binst

Maria, he is NOT a good father. He gives your kids the worst example of a father possible.

I don't know where you're from, but there should be a women's shelter somewhere in your area. Go there with your kids, make a plan before you leave. Take stuff with you, like passports etc. Please check the link I will copy in below. There is lots of useful information for you there especially in section 11 (deciding to leave).

You have rights, don't forget that. Those people at the shelter will help you to build up a new life. Don't wait ==> GO

popablue

before you split go to counseling, either together or alone,something made him change. if you want it to work there are resources out there to help.check out mortfertel.com part of his program is free

Katrina

Ask him to go to therapy with you. If he refuses, you should still go to therapy for yourself. No one, weither it be man, woman or child needs to be verbally or physically abused.
Your children will be affected in an adverse way by the situation.
If he's unwilling to change his behavior, you need to get out of there for you and your children's sake.
There are women's centers that you can go to for help with housing. Every community has them. I know it's hard when you think I don't make enough, how do I support the family? It will be hard, it's been done and you can do it.
I wish you and your family luck in this time of hard decisions.

burke48186

go to counseling
save the marriage

silly_duck96

You have been together for 13 years and are planning on leaving him because the last 6 months have been bad? Marriage takes work. WORK. Ask him what he wants. Does he want to get divorced? Tell him that is where the relationship is headed if he doesn't agree to marriage counseling.
Ask him why he started treating you badly. I think this is a problem that can be fixed. And if you do end up getting divorced then do get child support from him. That isn't relying on him, that is him also taking care of his children.

caaaad

You have a long painful road ahead. I told my daughters to never give everything up for a marriage. Build a career, as its a insurance policy. You now have to do what you didn't do in the first place, with the added burden and blessing of children. Never put all your eggs in one basket. You have been a nest builder and that is not a good idea in my opinion. Learn from your past mistakes so you don't repeat them.Seek help from family and friends.

tere

first you have to find out what cause him to change. talk to him. i am sure there is a reason behind this. life has its ups and downs and yours is on the down side now but it does not mean that everything is lost. leaving your husband is not the solution. let your love be the strenght to work this out.

craig b

OKAY.....ready to make a change in your life?

What is the TRUTH and what is a LIE?

If I call you "stupid" and "ugly" - how does that make you feel?
Is it the truth? Or is it a lie? Only you know what the truth is for your own life. Let's go through this again.
"Are you stupid"? What does this mean? Some level of intelligence? What is it? A comparison to someone else? In that regard I already know that I'm way stupid. So what?
If those words are a lie - take them as the lie that they are and see that the giver of those words is nothing but a liar and should deserve all the respect that those words demand.
If those words are the truth - take them as the truth that they are and know that this is who you are and does not need any defense whatsoever. It's who you are and "SO WHAT"! It's the truth and walk away in that truth. Big deal! Why would you let someone "control" you with words whether they are the truth or a lie?
You see.......it's not about whatever they say or do, it's HOW you react to those words and actions. This has nothing to do with your husband by about YOUR innate character of who you really think you are.
Your husband has found the way to CONTROL your very being and here's the truth - YOU'RE LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT!
He's manipulating you with either truths or lies and you're willing to be manipulated. Who's really at fault here? (ahh - you are!)
It's called "boundaries" of which you have none or you would not feel this way. Time to mend the fences and state for the record, who you are now and who you intend to be - FROM NOW ON!

If you're a Christian - look to how Jesus lived His life. Did you ever see Jesus get mad over anything that people said to Him about anything? What Jesus a wimp? No. He understood that it didn't matter what anyone said or did - He was who He was and He knew what He was supposed to do in His life.......and He did it!

Who do you want to be? Just WHO are you?

sucker4love

Listen on you guys day off and the kids are at school or asleep, try talking to him without frustration. Make him feel like he can confide in you and take it from there. If you dont wanna go to counceling then sit down with a mutual friend who's thoughts wont lean toward one person and make it happen. His issues could be a number of things like wanting to see other people, it could be a financial struggle. Women handle things alot better than men. Good Luck!!!

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